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Old 10-03-2012, 10:04 AM   #1
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Starting for Sure!

My husband and I have made the decision for sure that we want to try to adopt.
I have made a few inquiries (thanks to everyone that has given me some direction) and I know that our family already having 3 kids might be a deterrent to many BM's.
We have told only my parents and my brother and SIL, my parents are not really on board. My brother and I are both adopted, but my mom seems to think that the whole process will be bad for the family, and that it is just "too hard."
I feel like a lot of people seem to think that adoption is something that we have talked about, but won't really go through. Like, we will start, and then realize that it will take too long or whatever. But when DH and I got married, we said we wanted to have 4 kids, and we have always felt in our hearts that is what our family should be.
I am really nervous about the whole process- adoption profile, home visit, being chosen my a BM, trying to decide how open of an adoption that we are willing to have... but at the same time, I know I had lots of questions and fears each time I had a child, yet we knew it was the right thing to do.
I am nervous about an open adoption and how it will effect the other kids, and I think the best situation for our family would be to exchange pictures and letters, but to not do visits, at least at this point, but I am open to listening to others needs.
I do worry a little about my husband, he is very structured in what he wants, and I know he would really like a boy, so we have two boys and two girls. I keep reminding him that if I had another child, we wouldn't get to choose!
Anyway, I know I am just rambling, but I feel like there aren't many people to talk to about this!

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Old 10-04-2012, 11:53 AM   #2
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Re: Starting for Sure!

Good luck! We had two bio girls when we got chosen to adopt our DS. You just never know
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Old 10-04-2012, 04:18 PM   #3
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This is such an I important and exciting time for your family! Dont worry about your family they will come around when your new addition arrives and they fall in love! People forget that there are a lot of difficult parts about pregnancy including loss... Keep an open mind about everything, you never know! If I was a birth mom I would want a large family fire my child to grow up in. so bio kids would definitely not be a deterrent for me!
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