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Old 10-03-2012, 01:50 PM   #41
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Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?

I would call it a loss and replace the train for your ds. I don't think the sitter is responsible in anyway for it and I don't think it's her responsibility to search for it for days and days. I would just let her know that if she finds it to let you know. I'm sure your ds didn't intentionally hide it but he probably put it down and was distracted and didn't remember where it was. I think that's a risk you take when you bring something special someplace. I always tell my kids that if I tell them to leave something home and they insist on bringing it with it will not be replaced if it is lost and it is their responsibility to keep track of it.

ETA: one time last year I came home from work and discovered the the sink from my kids play kitchen was missing. We had a part time sitter who came to our house with her daughter (once or twice a week). I searched ALL OVER for that sink. seriously, turned the house upside down looking for it. I asked my kids and they didn't have an answer. Two weeks later it simply just appeared back in its spot in the play kitchen. I still have no idea where it was and I'm guessing one of my kids found it and out it back. It drove me nuts that I couldn't find it (and it's not that small). That being said, sometimes things get misplaced and sometimes they show back up and sometimes they don't.

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Old 10-03-2012, 01:52 PM   #42
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Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?

If a toy comes in my house, it becomes everybody's toy for the day. The kid who brought it takes it home, but it's not going to be clutched in his or her hands all day. ALL toys are for sharing. So, if they bring it, I ask "Are you willing to let other kids play with that?" If they say "no", then the toy goes back out to the car to sit in his or her carseat and wait for them.

Eventually, the parent gets tired of me putting the drama back on them and the child, they just stop bringing toys over at all.
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Old 10-03-2012, 02:03 PM   #43
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Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?

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Originally Posted by mom1mg View Post
Wow I can't believe how many people are being mean to the OP. What if she said it was his first day and he lost his blankie there. WHY is it because his security item happens to be a train is it suddenly no longer considered important.
.
I know! OP is new here with only 10 posts. I was thinking as I was reading all the angry posts that she might decide not to come back here after this!

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Originally Posted by Ashleah143 View Post

Honestly, the kid who is hovered over the ENTIRE TIME he is awake, is the kid who is going to grow up to be a blithering idiot. Kids need freedom and time to play alone too. Kids can not, nor do they need to be watched and played with for an entire day.

And even if she was in the same room with him ALL DAY, it's still not surprising that the train could have gotten lost.
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Old 10-03-2012, 02:09 PM   #44
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Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?

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I can't believe how many people are taking offense to my personal opinion.
you are absolutely entitled to your opinion and I didnt mean to imply that that wasnt the case.

I think that people, including me, are getting annoyed at your opinion because it is coming off as superior....that YOU would never make such a mistake and that there is no reason that this scenario should ever happen. Its possible that we are misreading the tone and perhaps you arent aware of how the post came across online. For me personally, I work REALLY hard as a mom and a daycare provider and yes it is hurtful that someone may feel that one lost toy is reason to disregard all the other experiences and services that I might bring to a child. This other provider is perhaps being thoughtless and brushing the mom off...thats not cool. But more than likely, judging from what the OP said the provider has already done, the provider has done what she could to remedy the situation. I guess I dont understand how you cant see that.....but we can agree to disagree on this post.
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Old 10-03-2012, 02:15 PM   #45
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We have some Thomas trains, I know they aren't cheap.

That said, there have been lots of discussions on this forum about these types of situations (usually with more expensive things, like a DS and whatnot) and it's always split two ways. The "what would I do" (look hard until it turns up) and the "shouldn't have let him take it over there" train of thought.

Honestly, I'd write it off as a lesson learned. Buy a new train, and I wouldn't use her as a sitter again. Not because she didn't find the lost toy, but because she doesn't seem to care to even look for it.
I would agree with this. It could be a lesson for him as well to be aware of his belongings and maybe he'll leave his special things at home to be safe. As for the sitter, I think when you have a child you are taking care of, his things are also part of the deal. I would feel horrible and at the least look for it and show empathy. I would agree with another caretaker. Anyhow, I hope it works out.
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Old 10-03-2012, 02:16 PM   #46
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Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?

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Originally Posted by mom1mg View Post
Wow I can't believe how many people are being mean to the OP. What if she said it was his first day and he lost his blankie there. WHY is it because his security item happens to be a train is it suddenly no longer considered important.

OP - What train was it? Was it a Thomas or someone else? Wooden or ??? We have a MASSIVE train collection and if I have a spare I will send you one.
We've BTDT my son's security thing was a toy caterpillar (he's 9 almost and still sleeps with it) it went missing at my sister's house for about a week and I COULDN'T sleep because I was so upset for him let alone him being upset. We are the family that has two of every security blanket so this doesn't happen to us - of course the one thing I can't get a double of is the thing he 1) choose to love the most and 2) lost.
Even if it was a blankie....does THAT mean that the child was not being properly supervised if the blankie is misplaced? Is the provider supposed to replace blankets? Is there anything else that the provider could do that has not already been done?

Everything I have said still applies no matter what the kid brought. It got lost, the provider and mom tried to find it, its gone for now. There is nothing to do but for mom to replace it if possible.

OP sorry your thread got so heated! I feel bad for your little guy, I really do. But I also see the providers side.
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Old 10-03-2012, 02:16 PM   #47
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Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?

I haven't read all of the responses, but you asked her to text you when she found it. She obviously didn't update you because she hadn't found the train yet. That doesn't mean she wasn't looking for it. It sounds like she spent 20 min. looking for it when you picked him up, which is more than I would have expected of someone (I'm assuming she helped because most people would not just let strangers rummage through their house looking for a toy). I'd chalk it up to a lesson learned and buy him a replacement. Favorite and expensive toys at our house, stay home.

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Old 10-03-2012, 02:47 PM   #48
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Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?

OP - It is such a bummer that it is probably gone - wedged in some nether region that probably won't be found until the DCP re-arranges her whole house, but I would buy another and make sure it stays at home.

We have lost plenty of toys over the 4 1/2 yrs of my kids going to daycare - it happens if you let it out of the house. Heck - we have lost toys magically just going from the house to the car and back again.
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Old 10-03-2012, 03:46 PM   #49
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I'm sorry anyone got offended my my post. I defiantly do not Hover my kids and saying they will grow up to be idiots is rather rude. What I meant was I know where my kids are throughout the day do if something goes missing I know where to look most of the time. I didn't mean to imply the sitter wasn't watching him properly I meant that if she was watching him she should know where it could be.
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Old 10-03-2012, 04:06 PM   #50
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Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?

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Originally Posted by Ashleah143 View Post
I'm sorry anyone got offended my my post. I defiantly do not Hover my kids and saying they will grow up to be idiots is rather rude. What I meant was I know where my kids are throughout the day do if something goes missing I know where to look most of the time. I didn't mean to imply the sitter wasn't watching him properly I meant that if she was watching him she should know where it could be.

I wasn't implying your kids were hovered over or going to grow up to be idiots. But, saying that you would know where to look for one small lost toy because you would have been watching better is rude to everybody else who's child has lost a toy.

I have an entire daycare. I know WHERE to look for a lost toy, but if it isn't in the playroom, kitchen, backyard, or family room, then i'm stumped. I don't play with the toy, I don't know where they put it down.

Do you have any idea how hard it is just to find SOCKS at the end of a day? Matching socks? I hate sock weather. HATE IT.

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Also, in defense of the OP, I understood where she was saying she was frustrated and wished the provider could find it. But, I didn't get the idea she wanted it replaced. She just really wishes it would turn up.

And, it will. But, maybe not for a while.
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