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Old 10-05-2012, 02:57 AM   #1
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My co sleeping shame

Hi mamas. I feel like all I have done over the past four years is start sleep threads which makes me feel like a horrible mother who has no idea what she is doing. We have co slept with both kids which I love but I have created some really bad habits in my almost one year old that I am not sure how to break. I used to rock and nurse her to sleep and then put her down and she would sleep beside me. Then a couple of months ago she was cutting five teeth at one time and the only way she would sleep was laying on top of my across my body. Now that's still how she sleeps all night. If I try to roll her off she starts crying. She also still has to be swaddled or she wakes up constantly. But even with the swaddling and laying on me she is up a lot and wakes up crying and writhing maybe five times a night. I'm currently writing this at four in the morning. I just don't know what to do.

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Old 10-05-2012, 06:33 AM   #2
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Re: My co sleeping shame

All I can offer is hugs and Dr. Jay Gordon. We used his method about 2 months ago, and now my 21 month old is in his own bed next to mine. Though he still wakes up pretty regularly at 4am for a nursing then sleeps again until 6-6:30.

It actually went pretty smoothly for us to get him to stop waking for feedings, I don't know if you are still nursing your LO when she wakes each time, but if so this may help with the sleep position too?
Good luck mama!
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
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Old 10-05-2012, 07:11 AM   #3
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Re: My co sleeping shame

Wow, that is tough. I think the only thing you can do now is a sleep training regime. This is not what people say is CIO. Helping her to learn how to sleep is a giving her a skill. She would like to keep doing what she is used to doing, but she is a baby who doesn't understand that it is not good for her or you. It will require A LOT of determination and commitment on your part. She has so many opinions and preferences now that is will not be easy. However, they are unreasonable and unfair to you. Does she have a room? If she does I suggest starting with her nap.
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Old 10-05-2012, 07:38 AM   #4
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Re: My co sleeping shame

I'd ditch the swaddle. It will make for a few very long nights but she will get used to it. I'm not even sure it's healthy for her physically at her age.

I don't say that in a judgmental way at all:

My 3yo was swaddled until she was almost 9 months old. Our bedtime routine was absolutely ridiculous. She had to be nursed to sleep, swaddled, sleep with a sleep positioner (before they were declared unsafe!). She was waking up every 45 minutes and I was about to lose it. Our ped advised us to just ditch the swaddle cold turkey. We had about 3 nights where she woke up a lot because she wasn't "bound". After that, things got better. She turned out to be a tummy sleeper and, by 18 months, was sleeping 12 hours a night without waking up. I think the problem was she couldn't sleep without the swaddle...but she couldn't sleep *with* it, either. She was caught in a rough cycle! Once we broke it, she could move and find her own sleeping preferences and learned to fall asleep on her own.

Good luck!
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Old 10-05-2012, 07:38 AM   #5
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Re: My co sleeping shame

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Old 10-05-2012, 08:00 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by aldermother
All I can offer is hugs and Dr. Jay Gordon. We used his method about 2 months ago, and now my 21 month old is in his own bed next to mine. Though he still wakes up pretty regularly at 4am for a nursing then sleeps again until 6-6:30.

It actually went pretty smoothly for us to get him to stop waking for feedings, I don't know if you are still nursing your LO when she wakes each time, but if so this may help with the sleep position too?
Good luck mama!
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
Thank you. I love dr. Gordon and that's how we weaned ds. I don't even really mind the nursing I just wish she would sleep next to me and not on me. Thanks for the advice!
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:01 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by pumkinsmommy
Wow, that is tough. I think the only thing you can do now is a sleep training regime. This is not what people say is CIO. Helping her to learn how to sleep is a giving her a skill. She would like to keep doing what she is used to doing, but she is a baby who doesn't understand that it is not good for her or you. It will require A LOT of determination and commitment on your part. She has so many opinions and preferences now that is will not be easy. However, they are unreasonable and unfair to you. Does she have a room? If she does I suggest starting with her nap.
Thanks. And you are right she needs to be sleeping more independently.
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:04 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by southernbelle04
I'd ditch the swaddle. It will make for a few very long nights but she will get used to it. I'm not even sure it's healthy for her physically at her age.

I don't say that in a judgmental way at all:

My 3yo was swaddled until she was almost 9 months old. Our bedtime routine was absolutely ridiculous. She had to be nursed to sleep, swaddled, sleep with a sleep positioner (before they were declared unsafe!). She was waking up every 45 minutes and I was about to lose it. Our ped advised us to just ditch the swaddle cold turkey. We had about 3 nights where she woke up a lot because she wasn't "bound". After that, things got better. She turned out to be a tummy sleeper and, by 18 months, was sleeping 12 hours a night without waking up. I think the problem was she couldn't sleep without the swaddle...but she couldn't sleep *with* it, either. She was caught in a rough cycle! Once we broke it, she could move and find her own sleeping preferences and learned to fall asleep on her own.

Good luck!
Thank you. I think you are totally right. She has a complete love/hate with the swaddle. If I can motivate on no sleep I will try tonight.
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:07 AM   #9
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Swaddling is something you need to wean a child off off. Usually it's something you should wean on the first few months. It's easiest then. So gradually start leaving an arm out, ect,
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:08 AM   #10
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Swaddling is something you need to wean a child off off. Usually it's something you should wean on the first few months. It's easiest then. So gradually start leaving an arm out, ect,
Okay. That at least I can start tonight.
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