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Old 10-03-2012, 06:46 PM   #11
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Re: How would you handle this?

Sorry that your son had to deal with this! My son is also very sensitive and would have reacted the same way. He only just started kindergarten but he would be very upset if he got in trouble at school. As for the teacher, I think you handled it perfectly. And if she does not contact you by tomorrow I would be calling her directly or sending an email to her. Hopefully you have her contact info.

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Old 10-03-2012, 06:48 PM   #12
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Re: How would you handle this?

She sent the letter back that has my contact information on it. She didn't write anything on it at all. I was thinking she meant, "Fine, don't worry about it." But that's the problem, I don't know. I don't know if she plans to contact me at all. I just put it back in his homework folder. I would much rather her communicate with ME and not via my son, so the homework folder is the best way. She never gave out information on how to get ahold of her and I didn't even know her name until a week ago when Jordan had a doctor's appt and I had to go get him. I had been so busy with my own school stuff too that I hadn't even bothered to find out either.

Anyway, we'll see what happens tomorrow, I guess.
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Old 10-03-2012, 06:49 PM   #13
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Re: How would you handle this?

Seems like she said "Fine" because she got called on her sh$t and is acting immature. I do think its unfair to get punished as a group when it comes to something like disrespect and bad words, because how does that teach that there is respect given back when it is recieved.
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Old 10-03-2012, 06:56 PM   #14
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Re: How would you handle this?

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So my first thought was that you handled it fine.

Then I thought some more and figured that the teacher had already given the class their punishment and that the case was closed in her mind. So maybe, I would have just reminded DS that sometimes the entire class gets punished even when some kids aren't misbehaving. Maybe, just let him know that I expect him to only use respectful language and to make sure that he keeps his nose clean, so to speak.

And then keep my eye open for any other news. Perhaps email the teacher and tell her to let you know personally if she has any behavior issues with your child in the future.

I HATED it when the entire class would get punished. HATED it. I was (am?) a goodie two shoes who tried her best to be a rule follower and please the teachers. But I got to the point where I was able to differentiate between my own personal guilt/innocence and having to "take one for the team."
I did this too. I have caught Jordan saying "stupid" before, so I didn't think it was totally, completely not possible, but this is also the boy that's been extremely loved by all of his teachers. His teacher from last year called me and begged for me to send him back to his old school because she was now teaching the next grade up and had requested him in her class. (It was a very small public charter school) And considering the divorce, the move, his dad being very far away (and he just visited this past weekend), I want to stay on top of any of these personality changes.
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Old 10-03-2012, 07:09 PM   #15
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Re: How would you handle this?

I am a teacher and completely understand having to stop behavior of group without being able to pinpoint specific students. Obviously this is not fair, but people need to realize that teachers make mistakes just as we do as parents. I am sure the teacher made a decision in the moment and it doesn't sound like she publicly berated anyone. I would always suggest going to the teacher in person in sticky situations. Notes by email or handwritten put teachers on the defense as they can be misinterpreted. But respectfully approaching a teacher with a concern in person can help you both to avoid misunderstandings. I disagree with the pulling them approach. Instability is much more difficult on kids than teaching them the life lesson that life is unfair and to be above whatever is going on.
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Old 10-03-2012, 07:13 PM   #16
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First, hugs to Jordan. I have a couple of sensitive kids myself and my heart breaks when they are upset, especially over something they didn't do.

Honestly, I wouldn't have sent the note back with my kid. I feel like it undermines the teacher when the kid knows mom doesn't agree with the punishment before getting the whole scoop. I've also learned to be VERY neutral when responding, almost to the point where I sound like I'm siding with the teacher but need clarification to understand the whole picture. My go to response is, "_______ said x, y, z happened. I know kids can exaggerate so can you please explain to me what actually happened/what you were told?"

Just my experience.
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Old 10-03-2012, 07:50 PM   #17
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Re: How would you handle this?

so she verbally told your son "fine". She hasn't contacted you about it. I'd give her a day & then go in & talk to her personally. It is always better to talk in person than through written correspondence unless you are trying to create a paper trail & this is way too early to need a paper trail. Depending on the time of day she was given your response she may have been too busy to give anything other than a 1 word response.
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Old 10-03-2012, 07:59 PM   #18
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I'm just not sure when I can go in. I'm in class from 3-6 daily myself. I was under the impression that the homework folder was also a parent-teacher communication line. I figured that would be better than interrupting the school day. I'm not upset with her response, just not sure whether further discipline is needed at home or not.

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Old 10-03-2012, 08:00 PM   #19
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Re: How would you handle this?

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so she verbally told your son "fine". She hasn't contacted you about it.
I thought she wrote "Fine" as a response on your contact info ect..Whoops!
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Old 10-03-2012, 08:01 PM   #20
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Parent teacher conferences are coming up soon. Would it be appropriate to speak about it then in person? I think they're later this month or early next month.

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