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Old 09-25-2012, 09:40 AM   #1
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Miranda's "special teacher" vent


I'm sure you know by now, but Miranda was Diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and Severe anxiety last year.

We have a IEP in school and "special teachers" (Is what we call them) to help her outside of the classroom. she had math, reading and speech I believe.

Anyway, I keep getting bad reports about this speech teacher. School started 3 weeks ago, services started a week ago and I've already heard 2 things I haven't liked.

Miranda is allowed to bring a stuffed toy to school for when the anxiety is creeping up. Last week, this teacher took the toy from her and told her she couldn't have it while she was in her class. I'm sure she wanted to do her work, but taking away the thing that brings my daughter comfort isn't the way to do it. Instead she sat there and cried and didn't do a damn thing.


We'd been getting good reports last week and I thought we were making a turn, We started Resperidone about 2 weeks ago, and I thought maybe it's starting to kick in. she's been much calmer, way less agressive, I heard she's cooperating with the teachers... but like always, 2 steps forward 1 step back...

Yesterday was a rough day. Miranda has decided to use her Daignosis as an Excuse. She tells everyone she has Aspergers when she doesn't want to do something. Sigh.

She told this to the special teacher yesterday and the special teacher told her she doesn't care. Miranda was crying when she told me this, so I know she said this, and I know it hurt her feelings. I'm SURE she was trying to get miranda to do some work, and I'm sure miranda was panicing and told her she has Aspergers so she can't, but you'd think a special education teacher would handle it better. I do plan on discussing ONCE AGAIN what Asperger's Syndrome means, and what it doesn't mean... And that she can't use it as an excuse. (besides the point that it's the anxiety that's making the schoolwork rough. )

I don't have a email address for this special teacher, but I'm going to get it from the school today and write her a email and find out what's going on. She worked with her last year and I think even a little in kindergarten, before any diagnosis, just when it was figured this was what was going on.. but maybe she's just burnt out working with kids with special needs or maybe she's just tired of miranda's Resistance, Or maybe the slim chance that miranda isn't telling me the truth. miranda leaves out stuff alot, but she told me she wasn't doing what she was asked because she was scared of it, and then proceeded to tell her this and the teacher told her she didn't care, and then miranda's voice cracked and she started crying telling me she didn't like this teacher anymore. It was heartbreaking because she LOVES her special teachers. I don't want her to hate that part of school as well, it's already hard enough to get her up and going in the mornings. ugh.

Alright, just needed to vent to people that might "get it"

I just need to find out what's going on. I wrote to her main teacher, but I'm sure her main teacher would cover for the special teachers anyway, since they are all kind of on "the same side" KWIM?


Jennifer; Mom to:
Miranda Isabel(ASD/Anxiety/ODD/SPD) (10) Jacob David(Anxiety/SPD)(6)
& Levi Alexander(ASD/Anxiety/SPD) (3)
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Old 09-25-2012, 11:49 AM   #2
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Maybe Miranda is confused about the "I don't care ". I know when I have been extremely frustrated with students and tired of excuses, I have said similar things, but not as in "I don't care you have Aspergers" but as in "I don't care if you don't want to, we still have to try", if that makes any sense. Definitely contact the teacher. Communication is key!!!
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Old 09-25-2012, 03:03 PM   #3
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Re: Miranda's "special teacher" vent

Hope you get some answers soon
Suzi, working mama to my ODS(2004) , YDS(2006), DSD(2004) and married to the love of my life
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Old 09-25-2012, 05:05 PM   #4
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I'd definitely call and leave the teacher a voicemail or email. I personally wouldn't be bothered by the I don't care because as a teacher, I don't care what your diagnosis still have to do your work. Yes, it could probably be handled a million better ways, but after cajoling, encouraging, and trying to jolly kiddo into doing the work, and kiddo still refuses, it is time to be honest with kiddo that your diagnosis isn't going to get you out of this.
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Old 10-07-2012, 09:19 PM   #5
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Re: Miranda's "special teacher" vent

hi there,
i am new to these forums but i read your post and as a teacher of students with aspergers/autism/etc. i wanted to chime in.

i don't know how old your daughter is, and i am not familiar with your state's special education laws, but is it in miranda's iep that she should have access to things like stuffed animals (as an accommodation)? if so, the teacher really shouldn't be taking it away unless there is a specific behavior program that addresses access to this.

also, if anxiety is a reoccurring part of miranda's profile, is that documented in her plan, and does she receive specific services to address this?

lastly, the use of the disability as an excuse is pretty common, especially if she found out recently about her diagnosis and/or is confused, in my experience. how much does she know about what it means to have aspergers?

i totally think it's ok for you to contact the main teacher, "same team" or not, to express some of your and miranda's concerns!
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Old 10-08-2012, 08:02 PM   #6
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Get the teachers side. Maybe she took the animal away because she wouldn't work while holding it, or it was distracting her. Are you sure the words she used were i don't care? Kids are very well known for twisting things that they hear or Only hearing the parts they want to hear.

Since this teacher has worked with her before has anything like this happened before? Does this sound like the teachers normal behaviour?
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