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Old 10-05-2012, 06:04 AM   #11
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Re: When did/would you let your child go to a sleepover? (non-family)

Unless the parents communicate about it, there are no plans. I wouldn't worry about it unless you hear from this mother directly. Do you even have a way to communicate with her? Know where her home is? Have done any other play dates?

FTR, DS was 3rd grade when I first let him spend the night with a friend. It was a neighborhood child we have known for years and who has played with DS for years as well. Weekend time is limited for us with DS since he goes to his father's the 1st, 3rd, and 5th of each month, so I've been stingy with my weekend time with him.


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Old 10-05-2012, 06:26 AM   #12
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Re: When did/would you let your child go to a sleepover? (non-family)

DS#1 was 8 when he had his first sleep over. It was with a family we have known since he was three, so five years at the time. The mom is a nurse, and I felt very comfortable with it. Since then he has only had sleep overs there and with one other family who I also know and am comfortable with.

DS#2 is seven and so far his only sleep overs have been at my sister's house with his cousin. He and a friend have talked about it several times, but I don't know that friend's parents well enough to be comfortable with it. He does have two other friends who I would be comfortable letting him stay with, so he may end up having one soon.

In the situation the OP poster described, it would be a definite no from me.
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Old 10-05-2012, 07:46 AM   #13
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Re: When did/would you let your child go to a sleepover? (non-family)

DS is 6.5 and has never slept at a friend's house (or vice versa). But he has ASD and anxiety (bad) and ends up in our bed every night around 12-1am. DD is 5 but is not night potty trained. I don't want her to have to wear her pull-up at a friend's house. She only wakes up dry 1-2 nights/week.
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:01 AM   #14
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Re: When did/would you let your child go to a sleepover? (non-family)

Mine were 4 & 6 and it was with my oldest DD's K teacher (who had become very good friends with us) and then just recently in August they spent the night with another set of very good friends of ours. I wouldn't do it if I didn't know the parents well or if I thought my kids couldn't handle it.
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:13 PM   #15
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Re: When did/would you let your child go to a sleepover? (non-family)

My oldest is 5 and we haven't done non family sleepovers yet, I'm not even a huge fan of those since they've ended up staying up until midnight or later even when I've specifically asked to be called by 10 if they were not asleep (IL's live right down the street, so no big deal to go pick them up if they are not following directions)

I would probably wait until at least 1st grade, maybe later depending on the maturity level of the kid and how well I knew the parents.
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:19 PM   #16
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Dd is almost 6 and hasn't been to any sleepovers yet (not even family). Not sure when we will ok would depend on who's house it is! At this point, I think she would have tons of fun, but I'm not quite sure she's ready to give up a night's sleep. And she hasn't been asked either. I guess none of our friends are ready to take on a 5 year old slumber party. Don't blame them one bit.
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:24 PM   #17
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Re: When did/would you let your child go to a sleepover? (non-family)

I have a handful of friends with daughters, and of those, I would trust 3 or 4 of them to keep DD for a sleepover. I think my DD would think it was the most AWESOME thing EVAH! But she's only 5.5 and hasn't been invited yet and I am not really ready to have a couple of rowdy little girls at my house yet. One day tho!

I have 1 other close family friend that I'd let watch my kids overnight without batting an eye, and a handful of others I could call on in an emergency and not worry about whether my kids were safe and cared for but wouldn't use them for fun just b/c they aren't THOSE kinds of friends, KWIM?

So lots of people that we are close to that I am comfortable with, but not all of them have the type of relationship with us that we'd let them keep our kids overnight.

I actually think this depends on a lot of things... how mature is your DD? Would she be ok in a new place with a new friend, with adults she doesn't know well all night? What is her friend like, is she the kind of kid you would want your daughter to be close friends with?

But the most important questions are the ones I think you already know the answers to - How do YOU feel about the parents? Their family dynamic? Their discipline methods? Their habits? Their speech? If something makes you uneasy, it's always best to err on the side of caution.

Maybe you could plan a play date for the girls instead and meet the mom at the local park or Chuck-E-Cheese or even plan a "cupcake party" for the girls ... something fun they could do and enjoy together that would give you a way to get to know this mom better without handing your kid over for a whole night. KWIM?

Last edited by Kiliki; 10-05-2012 at 12:26 PM.
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:28 PM   #18
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Re: When did/would you let your child go to a sleepover? (non-family)

Originally Posted by mjg2043 View Post
My dd is 8 and never been to a sleep over. So far jt hasn't even been a thing, and I am in no hurry for it to be. I would say don't send her.
I agree 100% with above.

Regret stinks even if nothing "bad" happens. I know too many parents that let their kids do something against their gut only to regret it later. Everytime I do something that I'm iffy about - well, I've learned my lesson.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:30 PM   #19
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Never & Ds1 is 11. Only because he has Diabetes & I don't want to pass that responsibility on to somebody else esp one we don't know well.

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Old 10-05-2012, 01:52 PM   #20
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Re: When did/would you let your child go to a sleepover? (non-family)

I'm glad to know that I'm not the only mom who doesn't feel comfortable with this. Makes me feel better to know that I'm not crazy As for the questions, I do think that my DD could handle it. She is pretty independent and has a really easy time at bedtime. She does good at grandma's house. I think it's more an issue with not knowing the mom well myself and my husband doesn't feel too confident in her parenting so I think we are going to pass. I will let the mom know that we discussed it and just don't feel that she's ready for sleepovers at this point in time but that we can set up a play date. Maybe that way I can be able to go over there and get to know her and see how she runs things in her house so I can figure out if I will allow her to go over there in the future.
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