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Old 10-05-2012, 12:46 PM   #11
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Re: Sharing vs. more toys

ok, I scanned the responses. I think I'm the oddball here. My kids have to share b/c I'm not buying more toys.

I warn them a few times to be nice and share. If they get really crazy over something, I just take it away. They can play with Duplo blocks without the car piece. (we have the Duplo blocks, too and just one car piece)

In other countries kids play with rocks and sticks. My kids can be happy they even HAVE toys, and if they can't share, we'll give them away to someone else who can.

It's not even that I'm a minimalist. It's just that I really think sharing and learning to be content with what you have is a lost art that is dying really fast.

There is a difference between what you NEED and what you WANT. Life is not always fair. Learn to share and be happy with what you have. <------ Those are the messages I want my kids to learn, and I try to reinforce that in everything - toys, food, clothes, etc.

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Old 10-05-2012, 12:47 PM   #12
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Re: Sharing vs. more toys

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Originally Posted by elizabeth.scalf View Post
Thanks ladies. It is tough. There are lots of things like that on our Christmas list, but I really don't want to end up with TWO of everything, like one PP said, because ltos of times the toddler just wants something just to take it from DD1, not because she actually wants to play with it. No point in having two. And like another PP said, they get their own bday/xmas gifts, and they play with them for a few days, but after the novelty has worn off it becomes communal property and they are encouraged to share. Sometimes I know DD1 gets annoyed at having to share everything, so I do try to make DD2 sit to the side and wait to take turns, giving DD1 5 minutes to play alone with the train before sharing. But it's tough because sometimes DD1 DOES want to share, and will give one train piece to DD2, but then next time DD2 expects a piece but DD1 doesn't want to share... there are just so many little toys like that. I like the sugggestions about having two 'main pieces' so they each can play and then encouraging them to share the 'filler' pieces
You just have to keep encouraging them to share.

I also let them know that whenever they want to play alone, they can go into their room and close the door and play with whatever toys are in there ALONE and during that time, their siblings are not allowed in. So they do have times where they don't have to share. Also special toys they don't want to share should be left in their bedroom in a special place.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:34 PM   #13
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Re: Sharing vs. more toys

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When you have kids close in age who play with the same toys, how do you balance the lesson of sharing with letting the kids have toys simultaneously? My 2yo and 4 yo both like building with Duplos, but we only have one 'car' piece that they fight over. I can make them share or I can buy another set and have two 'car' pieces.

We have a train track with an engine and one car, so I'm always torn - do I let one play with both train pieces and then take turns, or give each kid one train piece and then they're mad that they don't have a full train? I love to see them play cooperatively, sharing toys back and forth and communicating their desires to each other. But I also know it's important for them to have some independent play where they can exercise their own imagination.

Where's the line?
I would buy another duplo car and another train, but not another train track.

There are things that can be shared - train tracks, blocks, play kitchens, etc. And then there are things that need to be duplicated. They will play cooperatively with 2 cars or 2 trains. They will still need to share the rest of the blocks or the train track.

With bigger things, it gets harder. Do they both need a cozy coupe? No. but, it would help to have another ride on toy so that they can both ride together and take turns on which car they use. Things like that.

You don't need 2 sets of dishes or food for the toy kitchen, but you should have enough plates and bowls that they can both be making meals.

things like that.

you're helping them play together.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:48 PM   #14
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Re: Sharing vs. more toys

I don't think a second car is a bad idea. My boys are 2 and 4 and they have to share. We have two duplo cars and the 4 year old will take both of them out to play with. Brother comes along wanting to play, and the 4 year old shares one of the cars with him. Then they both vroom their cars around happily.

Lots of toys we only have one of and they learn to take turns, but things like cars and trains and blocks are more fun for the kids to play with together if there is enough supplies for both kids to play at the same time.

Not really on topic, but I'm glad to know my kids aren't the only ones obsessed with the Duplo cars
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Old 10-05-2012, 03:56 PM   #15
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Re: Sharing vs. more toys

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Originally Posted by Kiliki View Post
ok, I scanned the responses. I think I'm the oddball here. My kids have to share b/c I'm not buying more toys.

I warn them a few times to be nice and share. If they get really crazy over something, I just take it away. They can play with Duplo blocks without the car piece. (we have the Duplo blocks, too and just one car piece)

In other countries kids play with rocks and sticks. My kids can be happy they even HAVE toys, and if they can't share, we'll give them away to someone else who can.

It's not even that I'm a minimalist. It's just that I really think sharing and learning to be content with what you have is a lost art that is dying really fast.

There is a difference between what you NEED and what you WANT. Life is not always fair. Learn to share and be happy with what you have. <------ Those are the messages I want my kids to learn, and I try to reinforce that in everything - toys, food, clothes, etc.
I agree! My boys are 18 months aparrt and if they can't be nice, then the toy is taken away and put in mom's dresser/closet or on the top of the fridge.
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:59 PM   #16
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Re: Sharing vs. more toys

I don't think your decision on how to handle this at one point is going to make or break how they view sharing/playing together. I would try to teach taking turns, and when they fought I would put it in time out for a few minutes. However, if they both love the car piece and could both play with it for an extended period of time, I'd probably get another one.
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Old 10-05-2012, 06:30 PM   #17
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Re: Sharing vs. more toys

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Originally Posted by elizabeth.scalf View Post
Thanks ladies. It is tough. There are lots of things like that on our Christmas list, but I really don't want to end up with TWO of everything, like one PP said, because ltos of times the toddler just wants something just to take it from DD1, not because she actually wants to play with it. No point in having two. And like another PP said, they get their own bday/xmas gifts, and they play with them for a few days, but after the novelty has worn off it becomes communal property and they are encouraged to share. Sometimes I know DD1 gets annoyed at having to share everything, so I do try to make DD2 sit to the side and wait to take turns, giving DD1 5 minutes to play alone with the train before sharing. But it's tough because sometimes DD1 DOES want to share, and will give one train piece to DD2, but then next time DD2 expects a piece but DD1 doesn't want to share... there are just so many little toys like that. I like the sugggestions about having two 'main pieces' so they each can play and then encouraging them to share the 'filler' pieces
I don't buy two of most things. We have too many toys as it is. Plus, like I said, if I buy a second of something it's a variation of the first, not exactly the same. If they both prefer the same one, they will have to take turns. But, IMHO, some things are more fun when you are able to play together. Trains and cars are one of those. (Not tracks, just the main train and car pieces) I definitely wouldn't go out and buy an extra of everything they fight over. It's a balance you have to find. Also, I RARELY buy anything if it isn't for a b-day or Christmas. If we only have one and it's not time for anyone to get a gift, they have to take turns. I definitely teach my kids to share and take turns, but the most popular toys in the house warrant having a couple of pieces for them all to play with. Also though, that is going to depend on the toy. Having several cars, trains or dinos seems reasonable, even for only 1 child. But, having 2 doll houses or castles or rocking horses or a larger type kitchen is over board. KWIM?
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Old 10-05-2012, 07:27 PM   #18
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Re: Sharing vs. more toys

Only having 1 of something as basic as a duplo car just doesn't make sense. There will be enough for them to argue over and learn from. I just don't see this as a learning moment.
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:34 PM   #19
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Very in demand things that are constant battle and a reasonable expense I get 2, or 2 similar items (balls, toy cars, the $1 target microphones). Larger, more expensive items or less used stuff they share. I would personally consider the cost of another duplo car worth my sanity.
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