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Old 10-11-2012, 09:29 PM   #21
Ontariomama
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Unfortunately, if the agency agrees to the move, generally it won't go your way... and a lot of the time, that will be your last placement. Not that they will tell you that - they just won't "need" to call you anymore.

Now this part sounds underhanded but you will be doing it for the good of the baby:

Request the agency to transition slowly. Be the good foster mom and let them know she's bonded and you don't want to sever it and damage her more. The relatives need to visit at CPS, then they need to visit with you, then day visits, then overnights..... Most won't commit and will disappear before then It's too much "work". They are usually being pushed by bios, and just want to come pick her up and be done with it.

OR you could come to know them, like them and stay in touch. If you let her go badly, you'll never see her again. If you part well, and they're good people, you could be extended family.

I've had both scenarios play out. We have transitioned slowly to a bio dad (taken from
mom). It was awesome (though we had desperately wanted to adopt him) and his dad loved him SO much that even I cried happy tears when he finally picked him up for the last time to go home.

We have also fought for a foster child and lost. He was our last placement with that agency, and we closed our home after our 12yo's adoption was final in 2010.

I don't regret fighting it, and to this day 3yrs later, I still disagree with what the agency did. But, fighting it ended our fostering. And I really wasn't ready to be done.

It's do-able, and it's done everyday by families everywhere. Just be careful is all.

If you fight it, and still lose her, will you regret fighting?

If you don't fight it, will you regret doing nothing?

Those are the only questions that matter. oh shoot, that was long - sorry! lol

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Old 10-11-2012, 10:35 PM   #22
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I don't think that its a guarantee that yout won't get any more placements op, if you should choose to continue in fc. I don't know about your area but here they need fp so bad it would take a lot for them to not offer placements to a home with an opening. Even so you may have other agencies you could work with.
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Old 10-15-2012, 03:58 PM   #23
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Re: Anyone appeal?

Quote:
Originally Posted by juclark77 View Post
It would be great to know what the winning arguments were. I think we are going to hire a lawyer. It was really stressing me out to think I had to figure it all out on my own, especially with the system being so confusing.
Most of it stemmed from the birth parents being totally unfit (multiple children post my siblings also in state custody for the same thing ). But it still took a couple of years of hearings and trial for the state to terminate rights.

And no, not every story has an ending favoring the foster parents. My youngest 'foster' sister was given back to the birth mom, with horribly tragic consequences. I can only hope that something was learned from her case and that it is the rare exception and not the rule.
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Old 10-26-2012, 06:19 PM   #24
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Re: Anyone appeal?

Hugs to you mama! I am praying for you!

xoxo,
Samantha
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Old 10-28-2012, 01:21 PM   #25
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Re: Anyone appeal?

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Old 10-28-2012, 02:54 PM   #26
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Re: Anyone appeal?

Looking good...I'll be praying for you!!!!!
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Old 10-28-2012, 10:13 PM   #27
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Re: Anyone appeal?

Fingers, toes and eyes are crossed for you.
Sending lots of prayers that the relative realizes baby has a great home and decides to let you be the best parents for baby. Who knows maybe they can be in babies life in another way?
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Old 10-29-2012, 09:36 AM   #28
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Re: Anyone appeal?

Sounds positive! I hope it continues that way!
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