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Old 10-06-2012, 11:47 PM   #71
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

While we have had sitters and friends and family have changed diapers for us over the years, I cannot recall ever once having a discussion with anyone regarding the status of my sons' foreskins.

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Old 10-07-2012, 12:32 AM   #72
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

I don't share information about my children's genitals with others, therefore a non-issue.
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Old 10-07-2012, 12:53 AM   #73
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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Originally Posted by mandabug2 View Post
I am in a local multiples group and all the ladies are always talking about their baby boy circumcision experiences, and sometimes I feel like if I were to tell them mine weren't I would be looked at like a freak. Now on one hand I really don't care what other people think, on the other I kinda do . I guess the other thing that scares me is; are my boys going to be the odd ones out? What happens in JH and HS when they have to shower after gym?

I really feel like I made the right decision for my boys...I just hope they feel that way too!
I don't think it's probably something to worry about - I'm pretty sure guys don't really inspect each other (especially at that age when they just want to shower and get dressed as soon as possible).

Now, I had a friend in college that was non-circ'ed and his guy friends had all these clever nicknames for him, "hooded warrior", etc. It must have been somewhat unusual in the population, but I don't believe anyone ever made negative comments about it. In fact, they all seemed a bit wistful...

I would be more worried about the mortification boys might feel in the future knowing that the status of their foreskin was a tagline on a parent's signature of a public online forum. Not saying it's right or wrong - but that's what I think whenever I see one like that...
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Old 10-07-2012, 05:55 AM   #74
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

Yes. My in-laws jokingly said many times that they wanted to kidnap my son and take him to get circ'd. Um, no. Another "friend" told me that my son would have an impossible time getting a girlfriend because no girl would like his intact penis. Another friend who does not have kids was completely horrified when I mentioned our plans. It was, "Ohh, EWWW. That's so gross!"

So, yeah, I guess I do feel judged. I know I made the choice I can live with and I am so glad I spared my son any unnecessary pain.
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Old 10-07-2012, 07:30 AM   #75
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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I would be more worried about the mortification boys might feel in the future knowing that the status of their foreskin was a tagline on a parent's signature of a public online forum. Not saying it's right or wrong - but that's what I think whenever I see one like that...
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Old 10-07-2012, 08:24 AM   #76
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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I think what terra is saying is that many procedures would fit the strict definition of mutilation - ear piercing, mastectomies, surgeries, etc. Yet you wouldn't go up to a women who has had her breasts removed and tell her that she is mutilated. It's just plain rude. People who say they use the term mutilate simply because it fits the strict definition and for no other reason... Well, that's a bold faced lie. They use the term to purposefully make it sound awful. If someone wants to do that, it's their prerogative. I just think they should own it instead of hiding behind, "well, it fits the definition." I think that is kind of what terra is getting at.

And I for one do not think she is rude. Outspoken, yes. Rude, no.
Yes thank you. That is what I'm saying
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Originally Posted by JeDeeLenae View Post
I agree. I was thinking the same thing as Terra.

I would feel so uncomfortable discussing my boys' sexual organs at a mommy group. Seems like such a strange topic.

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ETA: no, I haven't ever felt judged except on these boards for some reason.
Same here. I don't think people realize that it's mainly on such boards that's it's this huge issue.
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Really? I think you mean blunt, honest, or truthful.
I'll give you that. Then I wasn't rude either. I'm also blunt, honest and truthful.
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I would be more worried about the mortification boys might feel in the future knowing that the status of their foreskin was a tagline on a parent's signature of a public online forum. Not saying it's right or wrong - but that's what I think whenever I see one like that...
Yes!! I'm so glad that I was able to do some personal re-examining in my life and was able to drop all of that and let some things be private.
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Old 10-07-2012, 08:54 AM   #77
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

For the record, I don't think anyone else was being rude. Just honest and truthful as well. I know it's a hot topic and I know people fiercely believe in staying intact or not, and I respect both sides.

Now to answer the question, I'm not afraid of being judged, but I'm afraid that someone will ask me what's wrong with his penis. We live in an area that just about everyone gets it done and it is one of the reasons I have been lagging on getting a sitter. DS1 is autistic and I'm just worn out from having to listen to people making stupid comments about my kids. So I think at this point I would punch someone in the face if they made a comment about my DS2.
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Old 10-07-2012, 08:56 AM   #78
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Originally Posted by *Peanut*
For the record, I don't think anyone else was being rude. Just honest and truthful as well. I know it's a hot topic and I know people fiercely believe in staying intact or not, and I respect both sides.

Now to answer the question, I'm not afraid of being judged, but I'm afraid that someone will ask me what's wrong with his penis. We live in an area that just about everyone gets it done and it is one of the reasons I have been lagging on getting a sitter. DS1 is autistic and I'm just worn out from having to listen to people making stupid comments about my kids. So I think at this point I would punch someone in the face if they made a comment about my DS2.
By far the best post on this whole thread LOL
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Old 10-07-2012, 08:57 AM   #79
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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Originally Posted by *Peanut* View Post
For the record, I don't think anyone else was being rude. Just honest and truthful as well. I know it's a hot topic and I know people fiercely believe in staying intact or not, and I respect both sides.

Now to answer the question, I'm not afraid of being judged, but I'm afraid that someone will ask me what's wrong with his penis. We live in an area that just about everyone gets it done and it is one of the reasons I have been lagging on getting a sitter. DS1 is autistic and I'm just worn out from having to listen to people making stupid comments about my kids. So I think at this point I would punch someone in the face if they made a comment about my DS2.
Our two sound a lot alike. My first is ASD and circ'ed by the way. My second is not and no special needs. Interestingly even my boys have not noticed the difference yet.
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Old 10-07-2012, 08:57 AM   #80
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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See and I hate that too. No matter what a child is in this arena, for people to keep bringing it up is so hurtful and wrong. Thankfully none of my family have ever talked about this kind of thing, ever. The only thing my MIL said was I didn't realize I had a choice when Eric [my DH] was born. And that was it. It should really be a non-issue and your own business.
Thank you. I agree that these kinds of issues, however important they are, should just be left out of the conversation in most cases. Educating someone who's open to that, or having a civil and respectful conversation are fine and beneficial to both parties. But when you're using terms like "mutilation" (even though technically it is an appropriate word) just shows that you are choosing not to show respect, compassion, acceptance, etc towards that other person, and nothing from that point is going to be benecial or productive. It becomes an attack at that point.
I understand feeling very strongly about certain things, and I absolutely cross the line and use strong language that cuts people out sometimes. With friends it's ok, we can see those sides of each other and still be accepting. But with people who are simply not as close/willing to accept or with strangers, you flat out are not going to convince people to see your side when you are not taking the time to present your case in a way that is calm, collected, factual and respectful. There comes a time when you have to accept peple despite their faults.

I also agree that the circ thing is more a problem with society than with individuals. Unfortunately people are too trusting when it comes to the sources where they get their facts. It's very sad and it majorly sucks, and it has lasting negative impact, but it's just the way it is. You can't harbor anger against everyone who doesn't get all the right facts by the right times, unless you want to be a very bitter person.
Way too many years have gone by with false information being pumped into our minds on issues like this and THAT is the problem, more so than people acting according to their natural humanly flawed tendencies. (by that I mean people on both "sides")
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