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Old 10-07-2012, 02:40 PM   #21
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Re: Frustrated with DH

I can never understand the term lived in. I love in my house but its still neat and tidy.

My MIL always tells me "a clean home isn't a happy home". WTF???

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Old 10-07-2012, 04:20 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Puppydog
I can never understand the term lived in. I love in my house but its still neat and tidy.

My MIL always tells me "a clean home isn't a happy home". WTF???
For some people cleaning is slow and laborious. For others, a little here and there is enough, because their general state of being is keep things neat as they go. I think the implication of the 1st statement comes from the "don't touch anything you'll mess it up" mindset. That you have to leave everything pristine and as is. I think the second comes from people who spend every spare second to keep things spotless instead of enjoying what else is going on.
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Old 10-08-2012, 01:24 AM   #23
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Re: Frustrated with DH

Nope. The second statement comes from my MIL being judgey of everything I do. If I was messy she would say I wasn't caring for her son properly. Because I am neat I am stifling him.

Her daughter is a slob and she is always going on about how amazingly house proud she is! LOL.

So yeah. She doesn't live here so she has no say.
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:41 AM   #24
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Re: Frustrated with DH

OMGosh, my husband is similar! LOL! He thinks he's helping by doing the laundry. This is how he does it:

Takes a huge amount of clothing and shoves it into the washer until there is no more room to add another. There are whites, towels, jeans, colors, delecates, and yes, he even throws in a cloth diaper or 2 in the load!!!!! Nothing actually gets clean. Then, he puts in twice the amount of laundry soap....like that's gonna help. Then shoves it in the dryer, and when that's done, he takes the load upstairs to our room, and dumps the whole thing on the floor for me to find and fold!!!!! He never ever folds laundry. In fact, once I asked him to fold laundry, and where did I find all the clothing? EVERYWHERE! He just shoved everything into random drawers in random rooms! No help at all I tell ya! Plus the whites are dingy, and the cloth diapers with the rest of it? Need I say more???? ew.

When he goes on a cleaning binge because somethings out of order, it's the worst!!! He will walk around with a garbage bag, and toss out EVERYTHING that is not put away right!!! It's terrible. He throws away clothing, school things, games, the girls dolls, the boys cars, it's terrible!! He said if its not put away, then they don't actually want it. Does he think we are made of money????? AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:42 AM   #25
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Re: Frustrated with DH

DH works full time and I SAH. I understand what you mean, there is a difference between "cleaning" and picking up after yourself.

DH used to take off his clothes and throw them next to the hamper. Why? No idea. He even said it didn't make sense. He then started putting them in the hamper. I posed the question to him with humor, as I was with him when he was getting undressed.

DH is not picky about the house at all. I used to be the same, but ever since my older children were little, I have become fairly picky. I grew up in clutter (nothing overboard, just surface clutter) and have allowed a small space on my desk for paper clutter. DH has a spot on the kitchen counter where he keeps his clutter. I used to freak out about it, but I figure if it is confined to that one spot, it's okay.

My husband is very scatter-brained so I try not to take his leaving stuff laying around personally. I can't imagine what his home would look like if we weren't together.
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:54 PM   #26
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My dh is the same. Occasionally he thinks he's helping me by making pancakes from scratch for breakfast but the mess I walk into makes me want to cry! I eat the pancakes staring at the wall so I can enjoy them and not see the disaster he made! It's really not worth his help for that one meal with how long it takes me to clean it. It's lunchtime by the time I'm done cleaning breakfast. He also somehow scratched up and destroyed my favorite mixing bowl! I try so hard to appreciate his efforts but it can be hard. With four small children, I don't need another large mess to clean up! Dh is very frugal and likes to take out trash after its been pushed down hard and overflowing onto the floor. My 2 year old gets into it and when I go to pull it out, it gets stuck and rips spilling more junk or sometimes I can't even pull it out and have to wait hours without a trash for him to feel like helping get it out. And I have to keep a smile on my face the whole time because if I look irritated it starts a big fight. I trip over his boat size shoes in every room of the house and he complains about toys being left out! His entire load of laundry is inside out. That gets really annoying when its folding time. Especially after telling him for years that I hate that. Lots of times I just hang it all inside out. That way if he wants to wear it, he'll have to put it right side out. Then it's the 'sneak load' of laundry I have to worry about! He decides to help out again and do a load of laundry. So he washes one load and does no more. Since I don't know it's there, it gets skunked from sitting wet too long! How is that helping? Transferring it to the dryer would really be helpful and folding it and putting it away would be even more helpful. No, let's do a sneak load and surprise her the next day with skunk city. The hardest thing is keeping a positive attitude and not letting the irritation or bitterness set in.
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