Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-06-2012, 10:40 PM   #11
mommy2kaitlyn's Avatar
mommy2kaitlyn
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Western South Dakota
Posts: 16,111
My Mood:
If you already said your peace let it be. Just let her know your there if she needs ya no judgment, if that is true.

Alisha I know how to spell my Samsung Galaxy S2 does not.

Advertisement

__________________
Proud Single Mommy of: 1 & 9 angels in heaven. Swags
I will not change my belief's, actions, parenting style, etc just because it offends you! I won't be offended by your belief's, actions, parenting style, etc either. ISO Goodnites Coupons
mommy2kaitlyn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2012, 10:50 PM   #12
Mama*Kim's Avatar
Mama*Kim
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 6,301
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2kaitlyn
If you already said your peace let it be. Just let her know your there if she needs ya no judgment, if that is true.

Alisha I know how to spell my Samsung Galaxy S2 does not.
There's truly no judgement. I truly hope that the weekend goes however she wants, no matter what that is. I don't think she's aware of the risk though. That's my concern. She just seems convinced that he's a good guy.
__________________
Hi! I'm Shannon Wife to J
Mama to a couple of crazy boys - L (12/07) and E (2/11)
and Meatball coming 4/14
Mama*Kim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2012, 03:47 AM   #13
Only's Avatar
Only
Registered Users
Formerly: hu**rees
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,971
I realize she's 18 and a legal adult but are her parents or anyone who's a strong adult figure in her life aware of this?

My husband is military and had the same thoughts as another person's military spouse. He's gearing up for a deployment and likely seeking out sex, and there are other males in the house - you just don't know what they are capable of. Being in the military and a pastor's son doesn't mean he's free of any potential negative behavior.

If it were me, and my cousin, I'd be blunt and say "Look, he very well may be a great guy but you don't know him and putting yourself in a house with several males you don't know puts you at risk for being raped or hurt. You're welcome to stay at my house, but if you choose not to please know if you need anything I'm a phone call away."

I'd truly worry for her but if she won't listen that's her call and at least you made the effort.
__________________
"You think that true love is the only thing that can crush your heart;
that will take your life and light it up or destroy it.
Then, you become a mother."

Austen 06/12
Only is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2012, 05:56 AM   #14
Wanderlust's Avatar
Wanderlust
Registered Users
Formerly: jen**eth
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Germany via military
Posts: 6,127
Re: How to talk to my cousin

yes, could be a bad idea. I was there as the naive and very dumb 16 and 17 year old girl. Thankfully nothing bad happened besides being used. If you want some stories, feel free to PM me. I did meet DH at 17- 2 or 3 months before a deployment. But I consider our story an exception, not the norm in that type of situation.

ITA with what Only wrote- just be blunt. Offer to pick her up from the airport and have the guy pick her up from your house for dates. Give her the option of staying with you so she doesn't feel forced to stay at his house if she feel uncomfortable.
__________________
Proud wife to Air Force DH. Honored SAHM to my twins Samuel and David.
EP'ed for 1 year!

Last edited by Wanderlust; 10-07-2012 at 06:06 AM.
Wanderlust is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2012, 08:59 AM   #15
CaliRoll's Avatar
CaliRoll
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Central Valley, CA
Posts: 2,591
My Mood:
Re: How to talk to my cousin

An adult male, military or not, deploying or not, is inviting an 18 year old girl into his home that he's never met in person, for 5 days/nights. Yes, he's expecting sex. And if that's what she's expecting too, everyone will be happy. She's either super naive to think sex is a non-issue or she's just telling you what she thinks you want to hear so you won't worry.

Be blunt, tell her what you think is going to happen, and then let her know that she's welcome at your house at any time, for any reason, and that you promise not to judge her or give her a hard time if things don't work out.
__________________
- Addie -
Wife to
Mama to (3/07) and (2/10) and our bonus blessing (3/12)
CaliRoll is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2012, 12:28 PM   #16
mibarra
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 8,975
Quote:
Originally Posted by evasimone
I think you are right to be concerned. I would just say, "how about you stay at my house for the first night just to make sure everything is okay with him?" If she refuses I'd remind her that if something goes wrong to please call me and I'd help her out.
This. But the fact is she's 18 and you can't stop her. I hope everything is ok
mibarra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2012, 06:41 PM   #17
Sarawithouth's Avatar
Sarawithouth
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Houston
Posts: 1,851
Quote:
Originally Posted by waterisntsomething
My SO is a veteran and he just started saying "no, no, very bad idea" as soon as I read the first paragraph. He didn't say he thinks it a really super unsafe situation (although at worst it could be) but that this guy definitely is only interested in having sex with her. He is going away for a year and there is absolutely no sex on a deployment. My SO seriously doubts this guy has any other intentions.
Chances are, she's aware of this. Totally her own business. I'd be scared about the intentions of the OTHER guys...
__________________
Sara wifey to Chad and momma to Lily (4/11)

Sunny due in October!

We're a breastfeedin', babywearin', vax delayin', un-circumcisin', cloth diaperin', bedsharin', home birthin', atheist family from Texas!
Sarawithouth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2012, 07:16 PM   #18
Mom2Connor's Avatar
Mom2Connor
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 3,283
Honestly, she's 18. I know to you she is the sweet naive kid you grew up an aunt to, but no girl at 18 goes off to meet a man she doesn't know and is being deployed unless she wants sex too. Odds are, she isn't going to be gang raped.
__________________
Proud SAHM to Connor (8-6-10) and our little born 4-14-13
Mom2Connor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2012, 07:17 PM   #19
PailPowder's Avatar
PailPowder
Registered Users
Formerly: tina041077
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: New York
Posts: 2,249
My Mood:
Yea ^. Am I the only thinking these guys could put something in her drink and they would do something awful? I watch too much law and order maybe but that's what came to my mind....I have a funny feeling about this and I don't even know her
__________________
Tina Proud Exto TJ and WOHM to Kaitlyn 10/8/97, Ashleigh 7/10/01, Joey 2/16/05 and Megan 8/16/07
PailPowder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2012, 07:32 PM   #20
Frizabeans's Avatar
Frizabeans
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Alabama
Posts: 753
My Mood:
Maybe I'm way optimistic but just bc it's a group of guys that happen to live in a house together it doesn't mean they sit around with roofies planning out future rapes. Plenty of people meet online and live happy ever after.
Make sure she has your number just in case, have faith and give people the benefit of the doubt.
Frizabeans is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.