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Old 10-08-2012, 10:07 AM   #11
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Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing

ok, this might come out rude and mean, and I don't mean it to, but I am frustrated FOR YOU reading your situation, and my kids need me, so I am trying to type fast and probably not censoring my words like I should........ BUT

Your DH does FACTORY work and he's complaining that you need to go back to school?!?! So YOU can make the money to keep everyone afloat?

I think I'd be pretty pi$$ed off.

Why can't HE go back to school? Maybe I missed something in your posts.... maybe you already answered that.

If you are happy making and selling stuff and it is enough supplement to your income to help your family, I don't understand why he is getting his feathers all ruffled about you going back to school.

I think you two need to sit down and have a difficult, honest talk about it. I don't think he's being fair to you at all.


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Old 10-08-2012, 10:42 AM   #12
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Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing

Have you researched all the LPN to RN bridge programs in your area? That seems to be taking longer than it should.

I hear you on the not knowing what I want to do when I grow up thing, lol! It took me having 2 kids to decide I wanted to go into nursing. It took me 3.5 years to finish an ADN program. I don't like what I'm currently doing, but would be happier in a different area. There are definitely other things I would be happier doing, but it pays ok and I am able to provide for my family.

I really think you should finish. Nursing school sucks SO bad, and it's a huge sacrifice to us as mothers.... but honestly, it really is a great career and is great to fall back on especially if your business ventures don't pan out. I have 4 kids, too, and they are the reason I go to work. I would love to SAH, but it's never going to happen. I would do anything for my family, and they are the reason I finished nursing school and the reason I go to work. I used to go to IHOP at 11pm every night and study until 3-4am when I was in school. I hardly slept. It's not easy, but doable.

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Old 10-08-2012, 11:55 AM   #13
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Get your degree and then dump him.

Okay, not really, but I'd have a serious chat with him. He is not your father and he is acting like he is. But, there may be a miscommunication. Maybe he thought you really wanted this and now he feels like you aren't trying hard enough to make up for his sacrifices. Maybe he does better with that kind of "encouragement" and doesn't realize it makes you want to throw in the towel.

He needs to accept that your feelings are valid. If you want to be an RN, find out how he can help, in a realistic and concrete way, and tell him. If you really don't, tell him that.
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Old 10-08-2012, 12:13 PM   #14
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Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing

You like nursing, you're most of the way to your RN, & you need the money...the pragmatic choice is to get the RN. And that your DH needs to quit it w/ the case of whining DB-ness & STOP being needy, & help take care of the kids so you can make it happen.

I get that you want to open the shop & I think that's a great mid- to long-term goal, but it's difficult to own a successful business when you're not yet financially stable. Honestly, I have lots of friends who are now RNs & do FT & per diem hospital work, homecare, etc. The pay is generous & the hours flexible enough that you will still be able to bring in income while supporting your fledgling business...and spending time with your kids; getting through the schooling is the time-drain.

And I'm sorry if it seems a bit harsh, but if your family depends on the income that your RN will eventually bring in (i.e., if not living paycheck to paycheck is a priority), missing your littles to get there may be necessary. I say that as a member of a 2xWOHM household. We both prioritize our careers & are dependent on the income; it's just the way it is.

*If it were me,* I would probably go back to work PT...maybe 2days/wk. Then I'd either put the kids in DC 2.5-3 days/wk w/ the money earned from working, to cover the time you're working + some additional hours to study. Or put the kids in care 2 days/wk & come home 1-2 hrs after you're done work, your DH picks up the slack for the kids, & you go to the library to study & come home after. Yes, nursing school is demanding, but you said you like the work, & it would likely put your family in a much more stable position in the long-term...heck, I know I wasn't even a nurse, but just the health insurance I got when I worked at a hospital was incredibly affordable & REALLY good. Maybe it's just me, but that + a good income would be enough to make my choice.
Carrie. Wifey to F, Mama to Baby Bear, Nugget, and Teeny.

Last edited by carriek38; 10-08-2012 at 12:15 PM.
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Old 10-08-2012, 12:57 PM   #15
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Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing

Hilary, loving Charles, mama to Charlie 1-21-12 on the way in December!
Sweet Bunny Upcycled woolies available on Etsy!
And my vintage shop!

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Old 10-08-2012, 01:03 PM   #16
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Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing

My mom is 57 and is currently working on her RN after being an LPN for 8 years, she didn't get a chance to get started until all her kids were teenagers. She's dealt with the same struggles as you have over the past few years. A CNA is nothing nowadays. And an LPN can't get a job because the government has made it easy enough for people to go to college for four years and come out as an RN, even though they have no business in the medical field. My dad was also a factory worker and just retired at the age of 65. I don't know what your situation is, perhaps your husband isn't capable of going to school, not saying he isn't an intelligent man, some people just have issues when it comes to getting an education and the causes are very varied. Also, and I'm still making assumptions, I believe it took everyone sacrificing to get you where you are so I don't like the suggestions that he has no right to tell you what to do. I'm not sayin ghe does but it sounds like you and your husband discuss things and in that environment I just can't imagine the type of guy that stands over you yelling at you to go to school. He sees how far you've come in an area and wants you to go as far as you are able too. Also I think continuing to stay in a career that will pay you better as you learn more and increase your credentials will make your goal of owning a baby store a lot more achievable. Also, as an RN i would respect your opinion and advice on baby products a lot more than someone who just got a loan and found a few providers. A couple years ago my SO went to a school that ultimately she did not use as a profession. While I do not resent her for going and following the path she sought, as she has stood by me and has allowed me to seek life choices that didn't end up being lucrative, I can understand your husband wanting you to finish and get your RN.

Also, one you have the practical RN, meaning you have completed all the parts of the RN curriculum that require in person training (your biology and anatomy and physiology prereqs, as well as your intern/externships) you can complete a BSN online through many different programs. With a Bachelors you can get a Masters in almost anything.

I understand you want to own your own business and I'm working towards that goal myself. Be advised only 1 out of 5 business make it past five years. With the support of a career, that you may or may not love, if your business is having financial difficulties you can keep it afloat by supplementing your operating costs with the salary of a job in an industry that is always hiring at mid-level and upper-level positions.
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Old 10-08-2012, 01:13 PM   #17
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Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing

I too would recommend finishing your RN.
I may be biased because I just started back to school after 16 years off and I'm also going for my RN- it will take me 4 years- 2 of that is the wait for the actual nursing program.
I feel for you- I have 5 kids and am taking anatomy & physiology and Chemistry right now and have to get B's in both to apply to the program- talk about stressful! I'm doing well and see that even though I haven't been a student for a long time- I have people approaching me for study tips- if I can help you- pm me!

Oh and my dh graduated with his RN in '08- he now works in a cardiovascular OR doing mainly open heart surgery every day- he loves his job! Doesn't hurt that it provides well for 8 people either!
Lee Ann RN student/ SAHM to Jaret '00, Spencer '03, Preston '05 (CLW at 37 months), Griffin '08 by VBAC (CLW at 21 months), & Mallory '10 by VBAC (CLW at 43 months)! Formerly tandem & bfing for a combined total of nearly 11 years! Also cloth diapering & baby wearingMy HUGE FSOT
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Old 10-08-2012, 01:34 PM   #18
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Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing

I am in my 6th and final year of a PhD program in Biomedical Engineering. I only have 2 little ones and it is soooo draining! I have been on the verge of quitting many times. I also don't have any desire for the high paying, very demanding jobs that logically follow my degree. I have felt this way for the better part of 2 years, but I am determined to push through it and finish what I have started. I think you should finish as well. I recommend going to the professors office a lot in your A&P class (and any other class that you are having trouble making the grades you need) might be unfair, but professors will grant leniency, give hints and be more apt to give you a higher grade if they see you putting in that extra effort.

As to your dream of owning a CDing, BFing, AP store and classroom...there was a store EXACTLY like this in the city I live it. It was owned by a RN/IBCLC and they also had pump rentals and sold nursing related products.
Kim wife to Kyle and mommy to Julia 2/15/2010 and Clara 5/7/2012
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Old 10-08-2012, 01:36 PM   #19
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Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing

Originally Posted by Rockinmama24 View Post
It looks like you're in NY. Did you look in to Excelsiors online LPN to RN ADN program?

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I've never heard of this before. I will try to look into it shortly, thank you!

Thank you all for reading my post and being kind. I think I was expecting everyone to tell me to just suck it up, and keep moving forward with nursing. It's nice to know that so many of you are letting me know it's ok to step back and think about this. I really appreciate your help!!
Hi! I'm a mama of 5 amazing beautiful children! 3 boys, 2 girls.
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Old 10-08-2012, 01:40 PM   #20
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Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing

No commen on the rest other than I'm sorry your dealing with this but there are stores like that my friend owns two here in Denver metro
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