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Old 10-14-2012, 06:59 PM   #91
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Drinks her not-just-a-smoothie pina coladas in ALL CAPS in front of her preschoolers before she takes her CDs and goes home.
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Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

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He's a young child, and the opinions of adults in his life hold a lot of sway. I know a friends child of similar age who refused to see a certain movie because her teacher told her that it's about "hating God" and nobody should see it. I'm sure the teacher that nothing of it and wasn't trying to be cruel, but gently and casually broaching the subject may make her more aware. He's not choosing to ruin his own Halloween IMO because he hasn't developed the emotional maturity to fully deal with this situation on his own. Though I do agree with talking to him about people's differing opinions.
You summed it up better than I. She is such a wonderful teacher, and she is a retired school teacher now working for fun in the center. So I know she has some "old ways". She is never cruel. I just hate that it really did sway him.

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Old 10-14-2012, 06:59 PM   #92
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Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

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My feelings on this are in bit of a different direction. I wouldn't say anything to the teacher. I would just explain to your son that some people think that boys shouldn't dress up in girl's costumes. But that you think it is fine to do whatever he wants to do for Halloween. I do find it odd that he would be so "crushed" over something like this. Halloween is not ruined unless he chooses that option. Help him to see that it is not a big deal. The rest of the world does not have to fit into your view of things, just like you don't have to fit into what others believe. I just wouldn't bother the teacher with such minutia. I would reinforce with him yours beliefs and let it go.
She's a person of authority to this child and considering what was said, it's very likely she said it in a condescending or even a shaming way. She probably even laughed. This is the usual reaction I get from people when they find out my DS likes littlest pet shop or hello kitty. They laugh. They think it's odd and they say things like "oh he'll outgrow it", as if it's something silly about childhood that is better left behind as he grows up. Something to be embarrased of.

My son takes his teacher's word as gospel much of the time, so much so that I have a hard time convincing him she might be wrong about something or that maybe he misunderstood something she said. If he came home from school in tears because his teacher told him he couldn't be batwoman for halloween, I'd be hot pissed. Teachers have a LOT of influence over our little ones.
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Old 10-14-2012, 07:01 PM   #93
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Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

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She's a person of authority to this child and considering what was said, it's very likely she said it in a condescending or even a shaming way. She probably even laughed. This is the usual reaction I get from people when they find out my DS likes littlest pet shop or hello kitty. They laugh. They think it's odd and they say things like "oh he'll outgrow it", as if it's something silly about childhood that is better left behind as he grows up. Something to be embarrased of.

My son takes his teacher's word as gospel much of the time, so much so that I have a hard time convincing him she might be wrong about something or that maybe he misunderstood something she said. If he came home from school in tears because his teacher told him he couldn't be batwoman for halloween, I'd be hot pissed. Teachers have a LOT of influence over our little ones.
True too. I can't say since I wasn't there. I sure hope it wasn't in a mean way
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Old 10-14-2012, 07:15 PM   #94
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Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

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True too. I can't say since I wasn't there. I sure hope it wasn't in a mean way
I doubt it. But adults can so easily embarrass a kid without even thinking. I've done it and I felt so bad later. "Oh silly! *chuckle* You can't be Tinkerbell for halloween! She's for GIRLS!" Not mean in any way, but enough to embarrass a child and make him feel ashamed for wanting to be Tinkerbell, or even ashamed he didn't know better.
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Old 10-14-2012, 07:21 PM   #95
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Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

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I doubt it. But adults can so easily embarrass a kid without even thinking. I've done it and I felt so bad later. "Oh silly! *chuckle* You can't be Tinkerbell for halloween! She's for GIRLS!" Not mean in any way, but enough to embarrass a child and make him feel ashamed for wanting to be Tinkerbell, or even ashamed he didn't know better.
Yeah now that sounds like Miss Lula!
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Old 10-14-2012, 07:33 PM   #96
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Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

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She's a person of authority to this child and considering what was said, it's very likely she said it in a condescending or even a shaming way. She probably even laughed. This is the usual reaction I get from people when they find out my DS likes littlest pet shop or hello kitty. They laugh. They think it's odd and they say things like "oh he'll outgrow it", as if it's something silly about childhood that is better left behind as he grows up. Something to be embarrased of.

My son takes his teacher's word as gospel much of the time, so much so that I have a hard time convincing him she might be wrong about something or that maybe he misunderstood something she said. If he came home from school in tears because his teacher told him he couldn't be batwoman for halloween, I'd be hot pissed. Teachers have a LOT of influence over our little ones.


I doubt she laughed or shamed him. That is really pushing it. The OP is very in-tuned to her children and will handle it properly. I was just offering that I think EVERYTHING doesn't have to be the end of the world. It is a teaching moment for the little guy. Information and guidance from parents is the strongest influence on children.
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Old 10-14-2012, 07:36 PM   #97
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Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

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I doubt she laughed or shamed him. That is really pushing it. The OP is very in-tuned to her children and will handle it properly. I was just offering that I think EVERYTHING doesn't have to be the end of the world. It is a teaching moment for the little guy. Information and guidance from parents is the strongest influence on children.
That's a good thought too. Going to the Halloween Spirit Store will be a new adventure! Thank you.
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Old 10-14-2012, 07:38 PM   #98
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Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

That breaks my heart! We all deserve to be loved and respected for who we are, and I feel that she's robbing your son of that.
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Old 10-14-2012, 08:58 PM   #99
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Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

What an incredibly inappropriate thing for a child care worker to say! I'd have a talk with her and gently tell her how you feel.
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Old 10-14-2012, 09:54 PM   #100
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Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

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What an incredibly inappropriate thing for a child care worker to say! I'd have a talk with her and gently tell her how you feel.
While you would certainly be entitled to let her know, I don't think you are going to make a difference by doing so. This teacher, as well as many in America, would tell their little boy to pick something else. I'm sure she didn't realize how much he had his heart set on this. But, she probably felt like she was protecting him with her response.

Honestly, this was probably a better way for him to hear it from someone he knows who probably said it nicely than from some cruel 10 year old while trick or treating. I can totally see it..."Why are you dressed like a girl????" with a nasty look on his face. It would ruin his whole night.
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