Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-15-2012, 06:17 AM   #101
Shaunam's Avatar
Shaunam
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 2,475
Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvsviola View Post
Honestly, this was probably a better way for him to hear it from someone he knows who probably said it nicely than from some cruel 10 year old while trick or treating. I can totally see it..."Why are you dressed like a girl????" with a nasty look on his face. It would ruin his whole night.
I don't see it that way. My son knows other kids can be mean and has learned to brush them off for the most part. But when an adult upsets a kid, whether intentionally or not, it's different. It makes more of a lasting impression.

We can't change who our kids are and what they like to protect them from bullies. Where would it stop? With what they like and don't like? How they dress? What they look like? Who they are friends with?

My kid was born with bright red hair and has since added freckles to that mix. You don't see me changing his appearance to protect him from the nasty comments of bullies. And yes, there have been a few. Even one nasty lady in wal-mart. I really hope as a teacher you don't condone this type of behavior and consider it "doing kids favors".

I don't think the teacher needs reprimanded, but she DOES need to know she hurt a little boy's feelings and her comment was totally inappropriate. Because it was. Period. No matter what you believe about gender roles.

Advertisement

__________________
Shauna, mom to Adrian, 9 and Charlie, 6!
Shaunam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2012, 06:50 AM   #102
aemarques's Avatar
aemarques
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 508
This thread really opened my eyes. I don't have a little boy yet, but I'm sure I will one day and I will remember this.

OP please update us and let us know how the trip to the halloween store went and what he decided to be.

So heartbreaking when you are SO excited and looking forward to something and someone brings you down about it. I'm sure that's not what the teacher meant to do though, I think her reaction was just typical and I imagine most people saying that and just not thinking.
aemarques is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2012, 06:54 AM   #103
Terra
Drinks her not-just-a-smoothie pina coladas in ALL CAPS in front of her preschoolers before she takes her CDs and goes home.
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,253
My Mood:
Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaunam View Post
I don't see it that way. My son knows other kids can be mean and has learned to brush them off for the most part. But when an adult upsets a kid, whether intentionally or not, it's different. It makes more of a lasting impression.

We can't change who our kids are and what they like to protect them from bullies. Where would it stop? With what they like and don't like? How they dress? What they look like? Who they are friends with?

My kid was born with bright red hair and has since added freckles to that mix. You don't see me changing his appearance to protect him from the nasty comments of bullies. And yes, there have been a few. Even one nasty lady in wal-mart. I really hope as a teacher you don't condone this type of behavior and consider it "doing kids favors".

I don't think the teacher needs reprimanded, but she DOES need to know she hurt a little boy's feelings and her comment was totally inappropriate. Because it was. Period. No matter what you believe about gender roles.
I get what she's saying. But I agree with you. It's honestly sad that anything negative has to be said to him
I did tell him this morning he can be anything he wants to be again!
Quote:
Originally Posted by aemarques View Post
This thread really opened my eyes. I don't have a little boy yet, but I'm sure I will one day and I will remember this.

OP please update us and let us know how the trip to the halloween store went and what he decided to be.

So heartbreaking when you are SO excited and looking forward to something and someone brings you down about it. I'm sure that's not what the teacher meant to do though, I think her reaction was just typical and I imagine most people saying that and just not thinking.
Thank you so much I will! I may take him this evening to lift his spirits!
__________________
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side!
Terra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2012, 10:27 AM   #104
Joyful Tie Dyes
Banned for reasons unrelated to transactions
www.joyfultiedyes.com
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Sunny SC
Posts: 13,547
My Mood:
Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

Terra your update makes me so sad

The reaction I got from several ppl when DS got a kitchen for his 2nd Bday was pretty odd. My Dad (who taught me to cook) was just aghast and reminded me that I had a boy. Now my Dad does most of the cooking between he and my stepmom. He insisted on giving him tools (adorable fisher price tools). Yeah guess whose name is on the toolbox at my house...yep mine LOL and my DAD is the one that bought many of them for me. When I pointed that out he felt rather silly LOL

TO the teacher I'd probably say something like. I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt his feelings but DS is really crushed that you told him he couldn't be Tinkerbell for Halloween. I just wanted you to know that's it's fine with his father and I if he wants to be Tinkerbell.

I will never understand why people don't get it's a COSTUME! You get to pretend to be something/someone else. That's the point LOL
Joyful Tie Dyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2012, 12:12 PM   #105
kattayanna_mom's Avatar
kattayanna_mom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Jacksonville North Carolina
Posts: 5,925
My Mood:
Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

As a childcare provider and teacher myself even in a Christian center we are to encourage all children to play with all toys we let the boys dress up in princess dresses,wear those plastic play heels,play with baby dolls,the kitchen sets,etc,the girls dress as fire fighters,police officers,construction workers,play with cars,truck,blocks,etc
We have a couple little boys in our center that mom paints their nails pink,blue,green,red,glittery,etc and the teachers and other kids think it's cute and neat.
why can't others be this encouraging?
__________________
Sharon,mom 2 Kaitlyn 19,Tayler 17,Anna 9,wife 2 James 4 yr old lead Teacher at a childcare center.
kattayanna_mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2012, 02:58 PM   #106
xtin's Avatar
xtin
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Near Walt Disney World in Sunny Florida!
Posts: 735
Re: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignorance.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Terra View Post
Yes, exactly! That is the part that saddens me. Like I said my own son loves "girl" things. He's going to be Tinkerbell for Halloween and to be honest, the only thing I'm nervous about are the comments that he may get from other kiddos because of what they have heard/been taught. In my area, this line of thinking is very common :/
I live north of Orlando and yes, a lot has to do with being in the south. We moved from Maryland (super liberal, near DC) and it was just totally different there. My eldest had an outwardly gay friend who was 4! that wouldnt fly aroud here. My younger daughter desperately wants to be a cowboy ("NOT a cowgirl, only a cowboy! Just like Cowboy small in the book, mama!") but the pressure to dress them like prosti-tots at a young age (she's 3 tomorrow) combined with the lack of appropriate costumes makes it difficult.

I feel your pain!
__________________
Christin - mama to Keira Grace (5/8/07) Piper Jane (10/16/09) and Holland Reese (3/30/13)
xtin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2012, 03:08 PM   #107
Terra
Drinks her not-just-a-smoothie pina coladas in ALL CAPS in front of her preschoolers before she takes her CDs and goes home.
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,253
My Mood:
Re: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignorance.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joyful Tie Dyes View Post
Terra your update makes me so sad

The reaction I got from several ppl when DS got a kitchen for his 2nd Bday was pretty odd. My Dad (who taught me to cook) was just aghast and reminded me that I had a boy. Now my Dad does most of the cooking between he and my stepmom. He insisted on giving him tools (adorable fisher price tools). Yeah guess whose name is on the toolbox at my house...yep mine LOL and my DAD is the one that bought many of them for me. When I pointed that out he felt rather silly LOL

TO the teacher I'd probably say something like. I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt his feelings but DS is really crushed that you told him he couldn't be Tinkerbell for Halloween. I just wanted you to know that's it's fine with his father and I if he wants to be Tinkerbell.

I will never understand why people don't get it's a COSTUME! You get to pretend to be something/someone else. That's the point LOL
Over a kitchen! Just crazy! That is my boys favorite center at school! Yeah that's what I don't either. It's just a costume, to MAKE-BELIEVE.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kattayanna_mom View Post
As a childcare provider and teacher myself even in a Christian center we are to encourage all children to play with all toys we let the boys dress up in princess dresses,wear those plastic play heels,play with baby dolls,the kitchen sets,etc,the girls dress as fire fighters,police officers,construction workers,play with cars,truck,blocks,etc
We have a couple little boys in our center that mom paints their nails pink,blue,green,red,glittery,etc and the teachers and other kids think it's cute and neat.
why can't others be this encouraging?
Exactly! And really that's the ideal way IMO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by xtin View Post
I live north of Orlando and yes, a lot has to do with being in the south. We moved from Maryland (super liberal, near DC) and it was just totally different there. My eldest had an outwardly gay friend who was 4! that wouldnt fly aroud here. My younger daughter desperately wants to be a cowboy ("NOT a cowgirl, only a cowboy! Just like Cowboy small in the book, mama!") but the pressure to dress them like prosti-tots at a young age (she's 3 tomorrow) combined with the lack of appropriate costumes makes it difficult.

I feel your pain!
Yeah I didn't realize just how a part of the 'bible belt' Florida was until I moved here. Oh yeah, there are quite a few things that don't fly around here right! So sad.
__________________
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side!
Terra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2012, 03:20 PM   #108
somo_chickenlady's Avatar
somo_chickenlady
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 1,976
My Mood:
Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

I'm sorry, but my son will grow up to be a MAN, regardless of what skills he does or does not have, and regardless of what toys he does or does not play with. We taught our son to cook, sew, crochet, dress up, etc, etc, just like I grew up playing with cars and trucks, playing in the dirt, swimming in the creek, and climbing trees. He will still be a man, just like I am still a woman.

My husband and I also fully believe in God and Jesus. We do have a huge problem with organized religion and their picking and choosing which biblical laws to follow and which to ignore.
__________________
KARA
Mom to Greyson, 14

After 12 years of TTC #2, multiple miscarriages, failed infertility treatments, and two failed (not on our end) attempts at becoming foster/adopt parents in two states...we gave up. I stick around for the awesome conversation.

Last edited by somo_chickenlady; 10-15-2012 at 03:25 PM.
somo_chickenlady is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2012, 03:34 PM   #109
Terra
Drinks her not-just-a-smoothie pina coladas in ALL CAPS in front of her preschoolers before she takes her CDs and goes home.
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,253
My Mood:
Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

Quote:
Originally Posted by somo_chickenlady View Post
I'm sorry, but my son will grow up to be a MAN, regardless of what skills he does or does not have, and regardless of what toys he does or does not play with. We taught our son to cook, sew, crochet, dress up, etc, etc, just like I grew up playing with cars and trucks, playing in the dirt, swimming in the creek, and climbing trees. He will still be a man, just like I am still a woman.

My husband and I also fully believe in God and Jesus. We do have a huge problem with organized religion and their picking and choosing which biblical laws to follow and which to ignore.
Although I wish my DH were more open like yours
__________________
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side!
Terra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2012, 05:51 PM   #110
momtojande's Avatar
momtojande
Registered Users
Formerly: JonsMommy
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,146
My Mood:
Re: RELATED sad UPDATE: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignoranc

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joyful Tie Dyes View Post
The reaction I got from several ppl when DS got a kitchen for his 2nd Bday was pretty odd. My Dad (who taught me to cook) was just aghast and reminded me that I had a boy. Now my Dad does most of the cooking between he and my stepmom. He insisted on giving him tools (adorable fisher price tools). Yeah guess whose name is on the toolbox at my house...yep mine LOL and my DAD is the one that bought many of them for me. When I pointed that out he felt rather silly LOL
It's weird! It's like we (as a culture) are more restrictive of little kids than we are even of adults. People are just so fearful of any hint of nonconformity.
momtojande is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.