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Old 10-13-2012, 05:29 AM   #21
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I'm sorry some Christians are so close minded. It ticks me off as well. I grew up in a pretty nice church and I'm pretty sure half the people there wouldn't shun someone over something so stupid, however the other half are all super critical and I can't stand. We moved an hour away and haven't been to the church here because, well it just feels weird since it isn't 'my' church but a lot has to do with the fact that I'm scared they will all be judgey. My beliefs have changed quite a bit over the last 7 years. I grew up hearing gay was wrong and so I guess I always just went with that idea but really, I don't care. I'm not judging anyone because I'm a sinner too. Every single day. So who am I to judge? I still pray. I teach the kids about God. I still dust off the bible every once in a while. Just because I don't go to an actual church doesn't mean I'm any less (imo) than someone who goes to church just to look good. Do what you want.


My uncle use to help my grandma wash diapers, sew them up so she didn't have to fold them all the time. He 'turned out just fine'. For petes sake he was a CHILD. Some people just don't get it. Sorry mama

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Old 10-13-2012, 05:33 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by AbbieJack
While I don't think playing with girl toys will turn a boy gay or vice versa , I do how ever think that we should raise our boys to be men and our girls to be women. I believe we should help our children develop into capable, competent adults,the adults that God intends them to be. As they grow and mature, each sex needs different skills to prepare them for life. I'm not saying that only girls clean and cook and boys only work out side or on cars. Every one needs to know how to cook ,clean and do basic car maintenance.
I think we should raise productive members of society. If your contribution to society is to be a SAHM or SAHD, the so be it. But I will raise all my children to have those tools. If your contribution to society is to hold down a career, the so be it. My children will also have tools for that walk of life.

Bottom line, we raise children to be PEOPLE. Regardless of gender or sex, they will carve out their niche. I'm only here to guide them through that process. I'm here to raise them to be independent thinkers so THEY can decide what they value in life.
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Old 10-13-2012, 06:47 AM   #23
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Re: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignorance.

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While I don't think playing with girl toys will turn a boy gay or vice versa , I do how ever think that we should raise our boys to be men and our girls to be women. I believe we should help our children develop into capable, competent adults,the adults that God intends them to be. As they grow and mature, each sex needs different skills to prepare them for life. I'm not saying that only girls clean and cook and boys only work out side or on cars. Every one needs to know how to cook ,clean and do basic car maintenance.
It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
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Old 10-13-2012, 07:10 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by AbbieJack
While I don't think playing with girl toys will turn a boy gay or vice versa , I do how ever think that we should raise our boys to be men and our girls to be women. I believe we should help our children develop into capable, competent adults,the adults that God intends them to be. As they grow and mature, each sex needs different skills to prepare them for life. I'm not saying that only girls clean and cook and boys only work out side or on cars. Every one needs to know how to cook ,clean and do basic car maintenance.
I'm so glad that my husband was raised to be a real man. He cooks, cleans, snuggles with our kids, teaches them things, helps me pick out decor for the house, chooses flowers for our flower beds, goes shopping with me, takes S good of care of our littles as I do (aside from bfing, he does it all), works with tools, maintains the car, helps pay bills, can grocery shop, play Barbies with the girls or throw a ball with the boys. And, I, gasp, can do all the same things! The only leadership role in our home is the one we combine to create, and I hope we raise ALL of our kids to be as strong, resourceful and diverse as we BOTH are.

I couldn't disagree more strongly that kids need different skills, based on their sex, unless it is related to hygiene!
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Old 10-13-2012, 07:33 AM   #25
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Re: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignorance.

We have never told our kids they couldn't play with something because it was for boys or girls,they have always gravitated towards the "gender" toys on their own. So forcing ds to play with barbi seems just as stupid as telling dd she can't play trucks. However all my boys have played with baby dolls hugging and kissing them and they say they are being daddys But all toys are for everyone at our house. When the kids get older they are expected to learn all skill sets. All my kids(that are old enough) can cook,clean, help with the kids, do laundry, shoot, garden,hunt/ help with meat processing, change the oil,fix a flat,repair a fence. These are all important skills to survive in life so they need to know them by themselves so they don't have to rely on someone who does. I seriously doubt any of my girls will want to change oil for a living or that my boys will clean houses for a living but if they needed to they could.
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Old 10-13-2012, 07:47 AM   #26
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I don't like the "it makes them gay" attitude either. I also don't think they need different skills. We all need to understand how to take care of ourselves and love one another. But while I was supportive of my 2 year old son wanting a Disney princesses sippy cup, when he gets older, I do want to encourage him to be a man.

To me, that means my teenagers won't wear makeup to school. As long as I'm buying the clothes, they'll be comfortable or loose fitting, from the boys and men sections. Nails won't be painted. I'm not going to agree with decorating their room in a feminine fashion. Exceptions can be made, within reason. But by those ages, they should be preparing to be men, not little kids.

Before you judge, how many of you in the saggy pants thread refuse to let your children dress as "thugs"? Think toddlers shouldn't be in bikinis under ny circumstances? Etc. I won't discourage actions based on gender - show choir is as good as football, shop as good as home ec. They can be friends with boys or girls alike (one of the last cogent things my grandmother said before she passed away was that as a lady, I needed more girlfriends and fewer friends who were young men.) But there is a line that does eventually form, imo.
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Old 10-13-2012, 07:56 AM   #27
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Re: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignorance.

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Originally Posted by AbbieJack View Post
While I don't think playing with girl toys will turn a boy gay or vice versa , I do how ever think that we should raise our boys to be men and our girls to be women. I believe we should help our children develop into capable, competent adults,the adults that God intends them to be. As they grow and mature, each sex needs different skills to prepare them for life. I'm not saying that only girls clean and cook and boys only work out side or on cars. Every one needs to know how to cook ,clean and do basic car maintenance.
I have to ask, what does it mean to you to "be a man" or to "be a woman" ?

Is my husband less of a "man" because he sew WAY better than I do? Or am I less of a woman b/c I'm better at using power tools and fixing the car than he is?

Should we stick to some arbitrarily assigned 'gender roles" despite our natural talents?

I know for many ppl of my age (especially those raised in the south) our parents stuck to traditional gender roles. We had uninvolved Dads who believed that cooking, cleaning and all child rearing duties were "women's work". Personally I'm glad society as a whole is evolving past those outdated ideas.

My husband is an amazing Dad and husband BECAUSE not in spite of the fact that he is not confined to "traditional gender roles".
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:07 AM   #28
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Re: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignorance.

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I don't like the "it makes them gay" attitude either. I also don't think they need different skills. We all need to understand how to take care of ourselves and love one another. But while I was supportive of my 2 year old son wanting a Disney princesses sippy cup, when he gets older, I do want to encourage him to be a man.

To me, that means my teenagers won't wear makeup to school. As long as I'm buying the clothes, they'll be comfortable or loose fitting, from the boys and men sections. Nails won't be painted. I'm not going to agree with decorating their room in a feminine fashion. Exceptions can be made, within reason. But by those ages, they should be preparing to be men, not little kids.

Before you judge, how many of you in the saggy pants thread refuse to let your children dress as "thugs"? Think toddlers shouldn't be in bikinis under ny circumstances? Etc. I won't discourage actions based on gender - show choir is as good as football, shop as good as home ec. They can be friends with boys or girls alike (one of the last cogent things my grandmother said before she passed away was that as a lady, I needed more girlfriends and fewer friends who were young men.) But there is a line that does eventually form, imo.
How does drinking from a princess cup, at any age, preclude being a man? How does having a room decorated in a "feminine fashion" (which is what--pink? flowers? matching?) somehow cause one to grow into a woman, rather than a man?
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:15 AM   #29
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How does drinking from a princess cup, at any age, preclude being a man? How does having a room decorated in a "feminine fashion" (which is what--pink? flowers? matching?) somehow cause one to grow into a woman, rather than a man?
The cup was my example that, as children, there aren't gender roles, just kids. But if my teenage boy wants his room decorated in Justin Bieber, or whoever the equivalent is 15 years from now...or the equivalent to One Tree Hill (I'm thinking teenage girls here), I'm going to tell him no. It isn't setting him up to become a when, but it is preparing him poorly to become an adult man.
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:23 AM   #30
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Re: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignorance.

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The cup was my example that, as children, there aren't gender roles, just kids. But if my teenage boy wants his room decorated in Justin Bieber, or whoever the equivalent is 15 years from now...or the equivalent to One Tree Hill (I'm thinking teenage girls here), I'm going to tell him no. It isn't setting him up to become a when, but it is preparing him poorly to become an adult man.
SO letting your sons express their true interests/selves is "preparing him poorly to become an adult man" ? I don't get that. Forcing them to conform to some societal 'norm' regardless of their feelings is somehow better?
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