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Old 10-13-2012, 08:26 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by soonerfan

I'm so glad that my husband was raised to be a real man. He cooks, cleans, snuggles with our kids, teaches them things, helps me pick out decor for the house, chooses flowers for our flower beds, goes shopping with me, takes S good of care of our littles as I do (aside from bfing, he does it all), works with tools, maintains the car, helps pay bills, can grocery shop, play Barbies with the girls or throw a ball with the boys. And, I, gasp, can do all the same things! The only leadership role in our home is the one we combine to create, and I hope we raise ALL of our kids to be as strong, resourceful and diverse as we BOTH are.

I couldn't disagree more strongly that kids need different skills, based on their sex, unless it is related to hygiene!
I agree with what both of you are saying. Just because she's suggesting gender specific skills doesn't mean it has anything to do wih cleaning or changing oil in the car. Aot of the gender differences , I agree, are just there because society expects and imposes them. But men and women DO have physical, emotional and psychological differences, and I believe it benefits people and those that surround them to be in touch with that. Of course it's different for every person, so it's more like differences based on the individual. But denying that there's ANY difference between male and female doesn't make sense to me

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Old 10-13-2012, 08:27 AM   #32
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Re: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignorance.

I've been told how i "just cant be gay! I was such a girly girl" growing up from my own family. It is absurd.
We don't support nor encourage gender forcing or stereotyping around here.
If my son wants to wear make up and dresses while my daughter is playing with trucks and action figures so be it.
Gender identity is not always as simply as your biological gender.
We are equal opportunity around here.
I agree completely with the pp who said the only differences between the skills the sexes need to learn is hygiene.
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:29 AM   #33
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Re: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignorance.

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SO letting your sons express their true interests/selves is "preparing him poorly to become an adult man" ? I don't get that. Forcing them to conform to some societal 'norm' regardless of their feelings is somehow better?
this.
i don't get it either.
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:30 AM   #34
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It's sad how many people feel that way. My 3 year old wanted a rapunzel doll from the Disney store. There was an older lady in there (didn't see a kid with her) but she actually came up to me to lecture me about buying him a doll. Oh and apparently I'm going to turn my daughter into a lesbian since I'm breastfeeding her. ????? According to her only boys should be breastfed since giving girls access to boobs is going to "convert" them. Sigh. People make me sad.
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:32 AM   #35
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I've been told how i "just cant be gay! I was such a girly girl" growing up from my own family. It is absurd.
Me too. And it makes no sense. I am no less a woman because I am gay. I do laundry. I cook. I wear skirts and lipstick. I have a little boy. I just happen to be married to a woman...

For what it's worth, as a kid I never played with boyish things. I am an only child who loved frilly dresses, shiny shoes, My Little Pony and Barbie. And I am still gay.
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:35 AM   #36
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Originally Posted by Joyful Tie Dyes

SO letting your sons express their true interests/selves is "preparing him poorly to become an adult man" ? I don't get that.
If he prints pictures out and puts them up himself, that's fine, but I'm not going to buy him the posters or bedspread or a giant cardboard cutout. (These are all things I remember my guy friends having of their interests -cars, video games, women, etc.) If he wants them, he can get a job and buy them himself. I think giving into those kind of (often fleeting) interests shows a disposability to money that isn't true. Girls are still attracted to Josh Hartnett four years later and won't mind that they bought a poster of him. But boys are probably less interested when the thrill of the explosions of the movie Pearl Harbor wear off. (Sorry, I lost interest in pop culture after high school, so I don't know what to use as an example) If I have a gay son,I'll feel differently. But I don't believe that what most teen girls are into (pop culture) is solid enough to be willing to indulge my sons' decor whims.
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:35 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by kelpie169
It's sad how many people feel that way. My 3 year old wanted a rapunzel doll from the Disney store. There was an older lady in there (didn't see a kid with her) but she actually came up to me to lecture me about buying him a doll. Oh and apparently I'm going to turn my daughter into a lesbian since I'm breastfeeding her. ????? According to her only boys should be breastfed since giving girls access to boobs is going to "convert" them. Sigh. People make me sad.
Wait... what??? There is nothing sexual about breastfeeding! If your INFANT is (a) sexually attracted to breasts or (b) sexually attracted to a parent, then you have a lot more issues than where her food comes from!

I had a GI Joe when I was little that I bought with my own allowance to play with my brother. And Barbie, My Little Pony, & the Ninja Turtles hung out together when we played. Neither of us is gay. People need to get a clue.
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:41 AM   #38
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Re: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignorance.

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Originally Posted by SkyeSpade View Post
If he prints pictures out and puts them up himself, that's fine, but I'm not going to buy him the posters or bedspread or a giant cardboard cutout. (These are all things I remember my guy friends having of their interests -cars, video games, women, etc.) If he wants them, he can get a job and buy them himself. I think giving into those kind of (often fleeting) interests shows a disposability to money that isn't true. Girls are still attracted to Josh Hartnett four years later and won't mind that they bought a poster of him. But boys are probably less interested when the thrill of the explosions of the movie Pearl Harbor wear off. (Sorry, I lost interest in pop culture after high school, so I don't know what to use as an example) If I have a gay son,I'll feel differently. But I don't believe that what most teen girls are into (pop culture) is solid enough to be willing to indulge my sons' decor whims.
So (if I understand correctly) you'd buy posters and stuff for a girl but not for a boy? I mean honestly I would not pay for that kind of stuff for either sex but I don't see how being males makes a difference.
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:42 AM   #39
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Re: It's attitudes like this that continue to perpetuate ignorance.

Quote:
Originally Posted by soonerfan View Post
I'm so glad that my husband was raised to be a real man. He cooks, cleans, snuggles with our kids, teaches them things, helps me pick out decor for the house, chooses flowers for our flower beds, goes shopping with me, takes S good of care of our littles as I do (aside from bfing, he does it all), works with tools, maintains the car, helps pay bills, can grocery shop, play Barbies with the girls or throw a ball with the boys. And, I, gasp, can do all the same things! The only leadership role in our home is the one we combine to create, and I hope we raise ALL of our kids to be as strong, resourceful and diverse as we BOTH are.

I couldn't disagree more strongly that kids need different skills, based on their sex, unless it is related to hygiene!
LIKE!! This is DH and I pretty much to a T. Actually DH is SAHD and I work outside the home. I know it's not "traditional", but it's what works for our family and what we have to do at this time. Can't wait until I get a chance to stay at home, but DD knows we both love her and gets lots of mommy time, too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by justsamma View Post
I've been told how i "just cant be gay! I was such a girly girl" growing up from my own family. It is absurd.
We don't support nor encourage gender forcing or stereotyping around here.
If my son wants to wear make up and dresses while my daughter is playing with trucks and action figures so be it.
Gender identity is not always as simply as your biological gender.
We are equal opportunity around here.
I agree completely with the pp who said the only differences between the skills the sexes need to learn is hygiene.
I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to have others constantly demeaning who you are and how you were born. How you play does not determine your gender identity/sexual orientation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kelpie169 View Post
It's sad how many people feel that way. My 3 year old wanted a rapunzel doll from the Disney store. There was an older lady in there (didn't see a kid with her) but she actually came up to me to lecture me about buying him a doll. Oh and apparently I'm going to turn my daughter into a lesbian since I'm breastfeeding her. ????? According to her only boys should be breastfed since giving girls access to boobs is going to "convert" them. Sigh. People make me sad.
Ugh, just another example of people "sexualizing" breasts. People tend to forget their primary function. How sick are these people to assume breastfeeding your child is a sexual act that will "make your daughter gay"??

In my opinion, I love my baby no matter what and someday when she grows up and falls in love, it does not matter to me if she loves a man or a woman. What matters is she understands what a nurturing, healthy relationship is and she is strong and supported for who she is and never made to feel like less of a person regardless of whether she is gay or straight or somewhere in between.
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:44 AM   #40
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See, I don't buy that we are all entitled to believe hateful things. It is akin to someone saying black people are inferior, and someone excusing it because that's their belief and they are entitled to it. Homophobia is hate under the guise of a religious excuse, and it is wrong, therefore should not be tolerated.

The bible says many things are wrong, yet people pick and choose what they want to actually live by. I think using the bible as an excuse for why homosexuality is wrong is every bit as abhorrent as when it was used to back up the "wrongness" of interracial marriage.
I've been saying the same for a long time. Unfortunately for many it becomes emotional, and logic and rationality go right out the window...
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