Blessed with children, Struggling for more Week of October 15th

[Hope4More]

Originally Posted by Love4leon Just checking back in on you Mel- I've been thinking of you. I'm sure today has been a difficult day for you and your family. I hope you are resting at home and finding some peace to help you through this.

We are, thanks. J stayed overnight with his nanny/home daycare provider. I her. My mom stayed last night from out of town to provide piece of mind in case things went wonky. DH has been very helpful. I feel ok, a little sad here and there- i feel like i did a LOT of grieving last week when the doc told us it wasn't good news, that maybe this wasn't such the shock for my system. Im sure it will hit me soon though. We are celebrateing J's two year old birthday tomorrow, and everyone coming is aware of the last 72 hours, so that should keep me busy. I cant stop shopping though (its how I deal with stress) I bought two pretty memorial necklaces, this one to wear on its own: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS.../chrisficti-20 and this one with a teal September pearl to add to my mothers necklace: https://www.etsy.com/transaction/989...purchase_buyer)
And this frame for my ultrasound pic when June had a heartbeat last week: http://www.imagesbyellyn.net/framestyles.html (it's the third one from the bottom)

Thank you for ALL of your support. I feel like my mom, who's done this many times and you ladies are the only ones who "get" it, the struggle -struggle-struggle-oh-wait,-nope-that-one's-not-gonna-work scenario. Blech. We should get a prize at the end of our journey. Like a special colored halo or something, like they do at high school graduation with cords. Cuz this sucks.

[ingrid5699]

Originally Posted by Hope4More Appointment is done, baby has no heartbeat, is smaller than last week, D&C is scheduled for 6 pm tonight.

I'm sooo sorry. I was afraid that was going to happen because it did everytime my babies measured behind on growth and hbs :-( Btdt 3 times if you count Patrick's twin. Hope the D&C was easy physically and you're home resting and taking care of your emotions.

[Hope4More]

Originally Posted by ingrid5699 I'm sooo sorry. I was afraid that was going to happen because it did everytime my babies measured behind on growth and hbs :-( Btdt 3 times if you count Patrick's twin. Hope the D&C was easy physically and you're home resting and taking care of your emotions.

Thanks, it was easy physically. The easiest part is that overnight, my hyperemesis has disappeared, so my husband has claimed them for flus and hangovers... Of course, everytime someone says something nice to me, I cry, but still, I'm not puking, so there's improvement.

I have to be honest, in the midst of grieving, I'm looking forward to a beer tonight and I had caffeinated coffee this morning. That doesn't make me a bad person, right? And somebody please try to convince me I WILL get pregnant again because honestly, that's the ONE thing that scares the $h1t out of me.

On a touching note, when my mom left, she told me not to worry about The Inhabitant (that was her nickname for Bug, creepy, I know) because his uncle was up there taking care of him. She was speaking of her 10 week loss Fallopian rupture, which was noted to be a boy during her surgery. I thought that was a beautiful thing to say to me.

[ingrid5699]

((((Hugs)))) No that makes you a normal person. I keep thinking to myself if I m/c at least I will feel good again and can have beer and Sushi. Which is nuts of course because I want this baby more than anything but I think that's just the way the human brain works. Hyperemesis was the reason why I opted for D&Cs btw-there was NO WAY I was still going to be puking my guts out for a non viable pregnancy (gah-HATE that term!).
Your Mom sounds really nice. Has she has many losses? It sounds like it.
I'll keep my fingers crossed you'll get pregnant again quickly and easily with a sticky baby!!!!

[Hope4More]

Originally Posted by ingrid5699 ((((Hugs)))) No that makes you a normal person. I keep thinking to myself if I m/c at least I will feel good again and can have beer and Sushi. Which is nuts of course because I want this baby more than anything but I think that's just the way the human brain works. Hyperemesis was the reason why I opted for D&Cs btw-there was NO WAY I was still going to be puking my guts out for a non viable pregnancy (gah-HATE that term!). Your Mom sounds really nice. Has she has many losses? It sounds like it. I'll keep my fingers crossed you'll get pregnant again quickly and easily with a sticky baby!!!!

Thanks! She's lost 3 between my brother and I (9.5 years apart!). We are going to use progesterone for two cycles, and start TTC again mid December. As much as I want a THB, I don't want to take the first few weeks of school off when I'm already on shaky ground with her. Besides, I'd like extended time home with a baby, so December starts to line up with all that. It will give me a chance to miss this one too so I'm not dealing with residual grief when I get pregnant again KWIM?

[lalakiwi7]

I was crushed to have lossed my baby... but just like you petrified to get pregnant again... and relieved to not feel horrible and be able to just rest and "be". So many different emotions and feelings all at once and no your not a bad person. Cry when you want to cry, laugh when you need to laugh and drink a beer before bedtime. My hubby was so sweet and was trying so hard to make me feel better by telling me I would get pregnant again quickly and have another baby.... it just made me feel anxious and annoyed. The hardest part was feeling relieved that I didn't feel so sick any more and worried about having to do the whole first trimester over again in the future. Glad your physical recovery is going well and hope that you can find rest and peace over the next few weeks as you take time to heal.

AFM: I am CD 8 and spotting a little yesterday... and again today but just once both days. Still not sure what my body is up to since this year has been crazy hormonally and this is only my third cycle. Maybe a little crampy too which is weird since I did'nt have any with my actual period. Makes me nervous that my endo is "acting" up. I go in on Wed for my follie scan so hoping that everything is ok and that we can trigger then. I am just so ready for a baby but really hate this whole waiting, trying, and dreading being in the first trimester again...... I loved being pregnant with my daughter from like week 15 on but the first few months with her and this summer were pretty tough... oye. I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there. (please let me get there!!!)

[angelalaws09]

I used clomid and got pregnant with my amazing son who is 8 months old. We want to start trying for #2 and will need clomid again. Anyone in a similar situation? I see the dr next week to talk about TTC but I have a feeling he wont prescribe clomid for me since my little guy is only 8 months.