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Old 10-16-2012, 01:10 PM   #11
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Re: Tantrums . . . uhm, what am I supposed to do?

I also wanted to add that patience and self control are behaviors that need to be learned and practiced IMO. They are so basic that I have noticed a lot of parents forget to teach them. I don't think that the midst of a tantrum is a best time for the child to be receptive and cooperative in the learning experience. I try to find times to practice patience and self control. Sitting and playing happily in the high chair while Mom and Dad finish dinner is a great time to practice patience, especially because you are right next to her for encouragement and reassurance. I love to have my 2.5 year old help me cook and it is a great exercise in self control for her...there are certain things she can touch and help with and others she can't. Make sure to give praise and positive reinforcement when she communicates her needs, and practices patience and self control.

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Old 10-16-2012, 01:18 PM   #12
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Re: Tantrums . . . uhm, what am I supposed to do?

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Originally Posted by kanga1622 View Post
I don't let my son cry for the sake of crying, but I have had to push him to be more patient. As much as I adore him, he cannot be the center of everyone's world.
this.

certainly no parent wants their child to cry. But, there is a line. And I don't know, but in your examples, I think you have the potential to be creating a bad situation. You do not always have to be the one showing a 21month old how to entertain themselves so that you can cook dinner. This is a skill they need to develop.

If my child requests a hug while I'm cooking, I get to a spot where I can, I hug her, then I put her back down and suggest that she go play with something. Maybe I'll be very specific 'can you find your doll?' or 'where's your stroller?' or maybe I'll be vague 'okay, now it's time for you to go play'.

but patience is easier learned when it's learned at a young age. As Juliasmom mentioned, patience and self control need to be learned and practiced. And a lot of parents do seem to forget to teach those skills. It's certainly easier to give in to whatever the child is requesting at the time, than deal with 1) knowing you could make the crying stop and 2) knowing that they are going to get frustrated with you.
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