View Poll Results: Do you "snoop" on your tween/teen?
always- it's necessary because I don't trust my child 1 4.00%
always- I want to make sure I can trust my child 9 36.00%
occasionally if I feel there is a need 13 52.00%
I would NEVER violate their privacy! 2 8.00%
Voters: 25. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 10-22-2012, 08:27 AM   #1
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Do you "snoop" on your tween/teen?

Do you read text messages/ check facebook/email (if they have accounts)/ check cell phones and just generally check up on them to make sure you know what is going on or to verify what you are being told?

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Old 10-22-2012, 08:41 AM   #2
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Re: Do you "snoop" on your tween/teen?

I say other bc I check stuff out but not bc I don't trust them. Im nosy number 1 and 2, I like to make sure everything is ok. the kids know though that I can or will at any time and they don't care. plus they are on twitter and fb and we are friends so i see all their stuff. I rarely snoop but don't feel guilty if I do.
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Old 10-22-2012, 09:13 AM   #3
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Re: Do you "snoop" on your tween/teen?

I said always to make sure I can trust her. However, I really don't check her stuff very often. When we got her the email and the iPod touch, those were the rules from the get-go -- that DH and I would have access to check her things periodically. She is a child who likes to push the limits and she has in several ways, but she seems to have gotten past that now. I don't check things very often at this point, and now it's more because I'm nosy than anything else.
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Old 10-22-2012, 09:35 AM   #4
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Re: Do you "snoop" on your tween/teen?

I never have, but there's never been a need. I don't think it's right to snoop on my child or dh. But, if I felt I needed to, I would.

I have always told my daughter "I won't ever use your password, but i need them for the FBI in case you ever go missing". LOL
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Old 10-22-2012, 09:44 AM   #5
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Re: Do you "snoop" on your tween/teen?

i dont have any tweens or teens yet but i really hope that i dont ever feel the need to invade their privacy. i had no privacy growing up. nothing was off limits to my parents. my mom would even go through the garbage after i had cleaned my room to make sure i wasnt hiding anything. they would also randomly just go through all my stuff while i was gone to school. to be honest i was an awesome kid and never go in trouble but the way that i vent frustration even now is to write it all out so i got in the habit of writing everything backwards (ekil siht) so that if i didnt get something destroyed before they found it hopefully they got frustrated trying to figure it out before they could read it all.
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Old 10-22-2012, 10:11 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by Scarlett's mommy
i dont have any tweens or teens yet but i really hope that i dont ever feel the need to invade their privacy. i had no privacy growing up. nothing was off limits to my parents. my mom would even go through the garbage after i had cleaned my room to make sure i wasnt hiding anything. they would also randomly just go through all my stuff while i was gone to school. to be honest i was an awesome kid and never go in trouble but the way that i vent frustration even now is to write it all out so i got in the habit of writing everything backwards (ekil siht) so that if i didnt get something destroyed before they found it hopefully they got frustrated trying to figure it out before they could read it all.
I wouldn't go that far. But if my kids were displaying undesirable behavior such as lowered grades, anger problems, depression or I felt concerned over their friends then I would look. Keep in mind my oldest is 4.5 so who knows by then.
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Old 10-22-2012, 10:27 AM   #7
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I have 2 teens.


My oldest has some special needs so I dont ever have to check her stuff. She is way to obsessive about following rules.

My second is a little different. She texts a lot, uses all kind of social media and I check them every month or so. She has nothing to hide so she always is compliant. She has had a boyfriend in another state and I checked her messages with him to be sure it was all PG. It always has been. She is very open with me. I have never gone through their rooms or notebooks. But phones and computers are privileges not rights and while I am still paying for those things I have the right to check them.

They dont go to school (homeschooled) but they do have friends and do hang out with other kids. I just make sure I know them. I trust them but sometimes it is hard to trust other kids, especially where we live.

Last edited by ktmelody; 10-22-2012 at 10:55 AM.
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Old 10-22-2012, 10:41 AM   #8
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Re: Do you "snoop" on your tween/teen?

I check up on my 10 year old's computer a lot. It has a watchdog block on nearly everything and I use vnc viewer to connect to his computer to talk to him and vice versa (he does it to me as well, he loves to use it like an instant messenger). I think it is important when a young child is starting out on the computer to keep tabs on what they are doing to make sure they are safe.

I had the talk with him about internet safety and how talking to strangers on games are not ok because they may not be who they say they are. If he wants to play a new game we block the chat first. I also watch out and make sure that no inappropriate things were not blocked by the watch dog. I don't allow him to have social media site stuff but we have a family email he can use with everyone else while he is so young. I don't think I've ever read anything he has written to anyone though, he just e-mails school friends or family.

I don't think by the time he is a teenager we will have to keep tabs on him because I trust him. I am just hoping to guide him in the right direction now while he is younger so he understands how to properly use the internet and stay safe. As far as anything else I have snooped though his backpack once after a call from his teacher. Otherwise I have no need to go through anything of his.
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Old 10-22-2012, 10:56 AM   #9
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Re: Do you "snoop" on your tween/teen?

I check and my dd knows it. It isn't necessarily to make sure I can trust her, but it's more because I think social media can be dangerous and I like to know what is going on. I have hidden and blocked people from her Facebook page on a couple of occassions.
My dd has no issues with my snooping. It isn't done secretly. I don't check often, but it is understood that I can check at any time. Honestly, I think it creates an environment of accountability. She shouldn't be doing or saying anything she wouldn't want me to see or hear.
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Old 10-22-2012, 11:00 AM   #10
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My 12yo and 17yo dd's have cell phones and Facebook accounts. We absolutely check on what they are doing. We know all passwords to email etc. they know we check up on them.

I don't see it as invading their privacy at all. We are an open family that talks about everything. They know that they have to abide by our rules while living here. I want to make sure my kids are safe, no inappropriate behavior going on by them or their friends.

I feel it is very much a safety issue to keep tabs on their online and cell phone accounts.

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