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Old 10-24-2012, 08:45 PM   #1
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Social issues with homeschooling?

This is DH's concern.. And I think he is wacko for thinking this!!

What do you do to socialize your kids? Do they have social issues? Or do you think it is more so the childs personality (I do, I have an aunt and uncle who are VERY anti-social and they were involved in school and church)..

Anyways, just wanted some answers from mamas who live it! Thanks!!

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Old 10-24-2012, 10:19 PM   #2
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I think that being a HSer you have to actively seek out friendships. Who says that while being in a classroom for 6-8 hours a day where a teacher is constantly telling your kids to be quiet and not talk is building social skills. Besides being social doesn't mean with people your own age. You can be a kid and be around adults and be just as social.
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Old 10-24-2012, 10:22 PM   #3
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Re: Social issues with homeschooling?

I will preface this by saying I have social anxiety and possibly generalized anxiety and I was public schooled K-12 (except when I flipped out and dropped out of highschool despite being fast tracked to graduate a year early because of my high IQ and GPA). So I don't really think public school guarantees great social skills, it just guarantees misery for those who don't have good social skills or the ability to "fake it". You are probably wondering how a parent with social problems manages to get her child proper socialization? I will tell you that it is a balancing act. I do make this a priority but not in the way that some homeschooling families do, probably at least partially because I am not interested in socializing much myself and partially because I don't think it is necessary to be out of the house constantly and involved in everything for a child to be socialized. That being said we have activities we enjoy, mostly as a family, and I feel our kids are properly socialized.

There are many activities open to homeschooled children ranging from co-ops, homeschool groups and classes to the same little league and extra curricular activities that public and private schooled children may take advantage of. Parks and rec departments provide any number of classes as well as Little League sports where children can make friends and find hobbies/learn sports. Then there are private classes such as music, art, cooking, karate (or other martial arts), gymnastics and dance just to name a few. Many people are involved in scouting or 4h as a way to keep their children social with the same children year after year and of course church is a popular choice though not for my family. Depending on where you live you may find Ice Hockey or figure skating is popular. If your children are particularly sports minded they may do well enough on rec leagues to be accepted on to more competitive teams and these do tend to be very close knit groups. There are many options not only for socialization but for oportunities to expand your child's experiences. For my family personally we chose Tae Kwon Do and are very active with our school (dh instructs there and we practically live there). We know all of the families and are very close with many of them. We also roller skate as a family and Tharen and Dh took up roller derby recently. Derby players are a close knit group and tend to do things together frequently so everyone gets to know everyone else. Right now Tharen is mostly associating with the guys but eventually we hope that the juniors team will grow. If not he is still getting valuable experience learning to socialize with people of all ages. We also do Ren Faires and Anime Conventions with our kids. So we have a pretty full social schedule.
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Old 10-24-2012, 11:53 PM   #4
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Re: Social issues with homeschooling?

Well here is a general list .

Story hour- weekly
Park Day- Weekly sometimes twice a week
Bowling Day - Once a month
Art Class - Weekly
Dance -Weekly
Gymnastics - Weekly
Homeschool Hobby day -Weekly
Keepers of the faith - Biweekly
Girl Scouts -Biweekly
Sunday School-Weekly
Awanas -Weekly
Homeschool Choir
MOPS -Biweekly (Their is a moppets class just for the older than 5 homeschooling children)
Sunday Night Dinner at my parents (The kids have cousins to play with)
Co-op classes
Field trips

I love the fact that my children get to socialize with people of ALL ages . My heart melted last week at our park day when a group of teenage boys were GLADLY helping the little ones cross the monkey bars and playing with them.
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Old 10-25-2012, 07:53 AM   #5
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Thank yall SO much!!! I just told DH the advice yall gave! He said he didnt realize that they could be more socialable with homeschooling.

Here, we have:
Church
Storytime
Park
State Park
Dance
Karate
Swim team
Boys and girls club that offer: tball, base/softball, volleyball, football, basketball, and football
Piano/sing/art lessons
I watch kids during the week amd we are ttc
And, we have a lot of get togethers with friends who have kids!

Lots to.choose from! Thanks again!
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Old 10-25-2012, 08:02 AM   #6
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Re: Social issues with homeschooling?

I think also that just bc u go to a school that all the kids there will be friends with your child. Dh, for example, hasn't kept in touch with a single elementary, middle, or high school friend ...instead his best friends are family friends...his parents were best friends with their parent, so the kids became best friends even though they lived an hour away from each other. They made an attempt to see each other often and have continued the friendship even overseas...and now, through marriage and through our own sets of kids we continue the friendship. It's really nice bc now the wives and sisters of his bf are my own bfs! And our kids are all young but I can totally see them becoming bf as well
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Old 10-25-2012, 08:13 AM   #7
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(I'm mobile, excuse any typos)

The way that children are "socialized" in public school is not natural. it inadvertently causes many negative things like peer pressure and encourages things like bullying. homeschool kids are social in a natural way, with people of all ages. School is the only time in your life that you're expected to be friends with a group of people simply because they were born in the same year as you and are from the same town. It just didn't make any sense.

Homeschool kids have ample opportunity to learn social skills. They go to the library, to the grocery store, to the park, on fields trips... The opportunities are endless! AND they aren't expected to "socialize" in an atmosphere where they are stuck in a desk fir the majority of the day and get in trouble for talking.

The socialization argument bothers me more than anything people say about homeschool kids. Yes, you have awkward homeschool kids. There are LOTS if awkward public school kids too. Its a matter of personality, not of whether you learned your social skills in the real world vs. a government institution. that is just asinine.
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Old 10-25-2012, 08:21 AM   #8
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There may be local activities during the day for homeschool kids too. I have friends who homeschool their 3 youngest kids, and they meet a group at the YMCA once a week for "gym class". Not sure whether it's through a homeschool group or the Y itself, but either way there may be a similar option where you live!

FWIW - my friends' kids are also in a ton of other activities, so are very social even though they are homeschooled (and live way out in the country with no close neighbors)!

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Old 10-25-2012, 08:21 AM   #9
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Re: Social issues with homeschooling?

I don't worry about socialization. The first thing that always comes to my mind when I hear people say this is that going to PS doesn't ensure that you child will be socialized or not as I've heard people call HS'ers. I know very few adults who were HS'd, but I know lots of them who are anti-social or socially awkward. So, going to school definitely does not ensure your child will not be those things.

But, we have 6 children. They have each other. I don't worry that much about getting out. We do take them to church on Sundays and to AWANA on Wed night. We get together with friends for play dates during the week periodically. And, they socialize with extended family too. To me, this was the least of my concerns when deciding to homeschool.

ETA - I went back and looked at my answer and my paragraphs are in a different order than I put them in. Very strange. I moved them. Something very weird is going on. Now it added a bunch of gibberish and removed the last thing I said.
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Old 10-25-2012, 08:22 AM   #10
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Just realized I didn't ever answer op's question. Lol got a little fired up.

I am not a social person. Came up in public school, was totally miserable, I'm that awkward public school kid I mentioned. Lol But my kids (thankfully) got more if my dh's personality and love to be around people. My son is in scouts, and my daughters will be in american heritage girls once they're old enough. We are active at church. We go to the library regularly, they go to the store with me and chat with the check out workers. We have a large local extended family and spend lots of time with them. There are also coops, hs pe classes, etc... In our area, but we really don't do a lot of that. They get the majority of their social skills and make most of their friends through natural situations. Neighbors, church, scouts... Thats enough for us. The kids do not lack friends or play mates and they are rarely thrust into unnatural "social" situations, because I know how uncomfortable that makes me and I would never want to push my kids into those situations.
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