toddler boys with long hair...cut the bangs or let it all grow?

[OneFishTwoFish]

Originally Posted by starfairy1980 My son loves his hair, and I am NOT cutting his hair because YOU can't tell if he's a boy or a girl.

Completely get your point. Can I ask a serious question though? Personally, I just feel bad if I can't tell if it's a boy or girl. I wouldn't say a have a problem with long hair on boys at all, I just feel bad when I don't know what pronoun to use.

Any suggestions on how to handle that? Do you, as a "boys with long hair mama" take offense when someone isn't sure?

[MommyZ of 2]

[QUOTE="MrsFishyMarineWife"] DS is 2.5 and had long hair with amazing curls. I went to get it trimmed and the lady cut SO much hair off. he looks more like a girl now than he did with long hair. I'll be growing it out.

This just happened to us! The lady kept cutting and cutting, and he really looks girly now. I cried over it. We will be letting it grow back out. Here's what it looks like now, I don't have an older pic on this iPod.



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[sisu]

Originally Posted by OneFishTwoFish Completely get your point. Can I ask a serious question though? Personally, I just feel bad if I can't tell if it's a boy or girl. I wouldn't say a have a problem with long hair on boys at all, I just feel bad when I don't know what pronoun to use. Any suggestions on how to handle that? Do you, as a "boys with long hair mama" take offense when someone isn't sure?

If we're just casually chatting with someone, like at the grocery store or children's museum or whatever, I always say something to the baby/toddler like "Oh, aren't you just too cute/smart/adorable! What's your name?" Even if the kid is too young to talk, the mom invariably jumps in with "Oh, his/her name is _____." The rest of the time, you can tell by the name itself. Luckily, I haven't run into any gender neutral names yet.

[starfairy1980]

Originally Posted by OneFishTwoFish Completely get your point. Can I ask a serious question though? Personally, I just feel bad if I can't tell if it's a boy or girl. I wouldn't say a have a problem with long hair on boys at all, I just feel bad when I don't know what pronoun to use. Any suggestions on how to handle that? Do you, as a "boys with long hair mama" take offense when someone isn't sure?

I don't take offense when someone refers to my son as a girl. He has my eyeshape, my nose, and my lips/smile. We look so much a like, he's always been mistaken for a girl, even as a newborn. What irriates me is when someone will say, "What is her name", and I respond, "His name is ___" and that continue to respond with a female pronoun. It irritates me because I'm like "did you not listen to anything I just said?" Our very sweet neighbor does that all time. Doesn't offend me, just bugs me.

If I'm out and about and start a conversation with someone who has a child, but I'm unsure of the gender, I'll say something like "I love your chld's shoes", and then wait for the parent to take the lead.

[bama]

This is my sweet boy with his long hair. We just cut it last week into a more boyish cut. He sat down to get his hair cut and told the cosmetologist "I don't want to be a GIRL anymore". A lot of people had started calling him that accidentally ( like 3 in one day last weekend) and at almost 5 it started bothering him. I really miss his curls.

[Dory]

Originally Posted by OneFishTwoFish Completely get your point. Can I ask a serious question though? Personally, I just feel bad if I can't tell if it's a boy or girl. I wouldn't say a have a problem with long hair on boys at all, I just feel bad when I don't know what pronoun to use. Any suggestions on how to handle that? Do you, as a "boys with long hair mama" take offense when someone isn't sure?

Then I wouldn't use pronouns. Like a PP said, I would talk at/to the child if I were talking to them. "Aren't you cute!" Or "you have such nice curls." "What's your name, kiddo?" And unless it's Jamie, you'll probably be ok and to the same PP, YES! It is so irritating to say HE several times, and his name, only to get her and she in return.

Originally Posted by bama This is my sweet boy with his long hair. We just cut it last week into a more boyish cut. He sat down to get his hair cut and told the cosmetologist "I don't want to be a GIRL anymore". A lot of people had started calling him that accidentally ( like 3 in one day last weekend) and at almost 5 it started bothering him. I really miss his curls.

His hair reminds me of my son's when it's nice & brushed. Cute!

[kai_e]

Originally Posted by OneFishTwoFish Completely get your point. Can I ask a serious question though? Personally, I just feel bad if I can't tell if it's a boy or girl. I wouldn't say a have a problem with long hair on boys at all, I just feel bad when I don't know what pronoun to use. Any suggestions on how to handle that? Do you, as a "boys with long hair mama" take offense when someone isn't sure?

No, I don't take offense. I just correct. It doesn't bother me although it used to bother DH but he has grown used to it. DS2 is beautiful and he loves his hair. He twirls it to put himself to sleep. We cut it once and it was a huge mistake - he was so upset.

[Fashionably Green Baby]

Originally Posted by OneFishTwoFish Completely get your point. Can I ask a serious question though? Personally, I just feel bad if I can't tell if it's a boy or girl. I wouldn't say a have a problem with long hair on boys at all, I just feel bad when I don't know what pronoun to use. Any suggestions on how to handle that? Do you, as a "boys with long hair mama" take offense when someone isn't sure?

In what context do you need to reference a strangers child as a specific gender? Why not just say "your little one is so cute" or whatever. I am a mom of a longish haired boy and he is called a girl no matter how long or short his hair is. My daughter who is 16 months was just called a boy the other day even though she was wearing a purple outfit and the pants had ruffles, she has on pink shoes and her hat had pink on it as well. I don't even generally correct people anymore, the older two will correct people but I just say thanks.

[harmoni247]

Originally Posted by kai_e No, I don't take offense. I just correct. It doesn't bother me although it used to bother DH but he has grown used to it. DS2 is beautiful and he loves his hair. He twirls it to put himself to sleep. We cut it once and it was a huge mistake - he was so upset.

He is gorgeous! I could NEVER cut that hair!

[kai_e]

Originally Posted by harmoni247 He is gorgeous! I could NEVER cut that hair!

Thank you! He totally has a thing for hair and often the first thing out of his mouth when I get home is "Mama, hair" - because he wants me to take my hair out of my ponytail so he can twirl it.