Preparing for my first OB appt...negotiation tips? LOL

[bethanyjoy]

I feel like I'm pg for the first time, all over again. After two pregnancies/births, I am preparing for my FIRST appt ever with an OB! I've always had the MW's...but that's not an option with my twinbits.

So, I know to expect shorter visits/less "social" connection than with my MW...what else do I need to know?

I have several questions regarding birthing the twins; I want to know what her standard procedures are for things like IV's, EFM, etc...do I just ask them? Do I write out a birth plan as a starting place or wait and do that after I find out more? I am SO clueless.

I've never had to negotiate for things before...ie, no episiotomy, intermittent monitoring vs. EFM, no IV, etc. etc. because none of those things are routine for the MW's but from what I've heard are for the OB's at the hospital where I'll be birthing. My MW indicated that she thought this OB would be open to doing things "my way" if possible...but how do I go about discussing this stuff?

Help!!!

[Fullhouse]

With me it's been a "I AM" or "I AM NOT". I have to be very clear, and explain that is what I AM doing etc. I like my OB, but even with that there is nurses etc at the hospital. Just be firm. It's still your body.

[bethanyjoy]

Originally Posted by 4littlemonkeys With me it's been a "I AM" or "I AM NOT". I have to be very clear, and explain that is what I AM doing etc. I like my OB, but even with that there is nurses etc at the hospital. Just be firm. It's still your body.

You know what's fascinating is that with expecting the twins, it's like everybody assumes I'm handing over complete control... That somehow just because it's twins I'll just go with the flow and do everything without question...yeah...right...

I've gone from grieving the loss of my hoped-for-home-water-birth and am shifting my focus to making the hospital birth as positive an experience as possible. But I think it will be an uphill battle...they want to do SO many interventions just because it's multiples. I'm not a risk-taker by any means, I just believe in doing my research and unless I feel there is a compelling reason to do something, I don't want it...this could be interesting.

[Fullhouse]

Originally Posted by bethanyjoy You know what's fascinating is that with expecting the twins, it's like everybody assumes I'm handing over complete control... That somehow just because it's twins I'll just go with the flow and do everything without question...yeah...right... I've gone from grieving the loss of my hoped-for-home-water-birth and am shifting my focus to making the hospital birth as positive an experience as possible. But I think it will be an uphill battle...they want to do SO many interventions just because it's multiples. I'm not a risk-taker by any means, I just believe in doing my research and unless I feel there is a compelling reason to do something, I don't want it...this could be interesting.

All my kids were c-sections. I know exactly what you are saying. I still enjoyed, and controled everything I could. I left the next day, cloth diapered, nursed, and even co slept in the hostpital. to all those who said I couldn't.

[rowynne]

I wrote up a birth plan of what I wanted & didnt want, took it to my new OB (had a different one for my first 2 kids), asked what his c/s rate was, and he said that we could do whatever i wanted as long as baby & I were "safe". I had a Hep Lock not an IV, no episiotomy, no pitocin, the birthing room was dim & quiet, pretty much got what I asked for. And if I ever wanted to talk more at my appts he always made enough time for me.

[Shannon]

I've only ever had OB's so I'd be the same way if I was going to a MW. You can ask that stuff right up front though. I would just say, "Um there are a few things I need to go over with your right up front here" and not let her rush though you. I may even call her out on it if she did make me feel rushed.

I'm going to need to address some things next week when I go in as well. I do not want an epi...I've never had one and my OB's all said they wouldn't do one unless necissary. I did have an IV with both...I don't know if thats an option at the hospital or not. But I had pitocin with my second so I couldnt'r eally decline it...LOL

I am so excited to find out twinbits genders...are you nervous?!?!

[Kimmomy2dom]

With my OB I would ask everything upfront - EVERY SINGLE THING you can think of! Then say you're going to write up a birth plan and ask her if she wants to see it, or if she would just prefer you had talked everything out. My doc didn't even want to see my birth plan, he told me to just take it to the hospital. I did write on there that I didn't want episiotomy, didn't want pain medication, listed other things I wanted to try while in labor. They actually listened to everything, except I had to give up and get the IV and all the monitoring because I had to be induced. So no episiotomy, no pain drugs for me, she tried to get me to try the labor ball (I had asked on the birth plan). If it's going to be in a hospital like mine was - make sure you take the birth plan in there and that the nurses know your preferences. Even though there are twins, you'll be spending more time with a nurse than you will with a Dr. so they're more important (labor-wise).
Just make sure to bring it up! I remember you saying that your MW will be at the hospital when you have the twins? She can be an advocate for you, too! Just keep pushing for whatever you want - so they know what your wishes are.

[bethanyjoy]

Alright, I think I'll go ahead and write out a list of my questions for my first appt...LOL She might as well get used to it, I am who I am!

After I know her opinion on a lot of these things, I'll write up my birth plan and go from there.

Question -- did you all take the birth plan to the hospital while you were in labour, or when you pre-registered so it was "on file"?

[Kimmomy2dom]

Oops, I guess every hospital is different. I preregistered super early (probably around the gestation you're at right now) with my son, so I didn't even have it written up yet. I got a folder and printed out a good 5 copies (stapled together, LOL, it was long) and a few other papers I would need and took it with me. Then when I got my first nurse I handed one to her and she put it in my file for any other nurses I would get. So I took it with me - but do you know if the hospital will take it with your pre-registration papers? If they would I would include one there so they have it, and then take a few more copies in the bag you pack in case you need them.