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Old 10-29-2012, 07:56 PM   #41
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Re: What would you do?

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Originally Posted by Geckmumto3 View Post
Well, I would call the teacher/send a note to the teacher to ask if DD can have a look around. I would encourage DD to check where she had been that day to make sure it was truly lost. Once hope was given up, I would encourage her to find something that we already own.

Depending on the kid and how responsible or irresponsible she generally was, I would give more or less help and support in finding it and or creating a new costume. I would not be buying anything new, no matter what, though.
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Old 10-29-2012, 08:01 PM   #42
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Re: What would you do?

Depends on the kid, I guess. OP I can totally understand why you are choosing what you are. My ODS is in 4th grade, 9yrs old and if it were him I would go and buy a new costume. But that is because I would know it was truly and accident, he would be heart broken and I know he would have looked everywhere to try and find it. If he couldn't find it I would buy another and he'd go trick or treating still.
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Old 10-29-2012, 10:06 PM   #43
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Depends on the kid, I guess. OP I can totally understand why you are choosing what you are. My ODS is in 4th grade, 9yrs old and if it were him I would go and buy a new costume. But that is because I would know it was truly and accident, he would be heart broken and I know he would have looked everywhere to try and find it. If he couldn't find it I would buy another and he'd go trick or treating still.
Yeah if she had shown remorse my reaction would have been totally different. I couldn't rebuy it but I would have helped figure out a new costume. It truly depends on the child.

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Old 11-05-2012, 09:30 AM   #44
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Re: Update in OP 11/4 What would you do?

Bump for update. I will try and post a pic but having issues with app and can't figure out how to delete pics.
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Old 11-05-2012, 10:57 AM   #45
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Re: Update in OP 11/4 What would you do?

So she was supposed to pack her costume in her backpack for after school, didn't, then lied about it so she wouldn't get in trouble for not following through? And then kept up the lie so she wouldn't get in trouble for lying?

That is very frustrating.
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Old 11-05-2012, 11:18 AM   #46
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So she was supposed to pack her costume in her backpack for after school, didn't, then lied about it so she wouldn't get in trouble for not following through? And then kept up the lie so she wouldn't get in trouble for lying?

That is very frustrating.
Yup! Since I said find the costume and didn't say if not at home I had to let her go. Can't change rules later, ugh.

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Old 11-05-2012, 12:10 PM   #47
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Re: Update in OP 11/4 What would you do?

You don't have to let her go because you said if she had a costume she could go. She lied, which is far worse than losing something or breaking something IMO. We have a pretty strict rule about lying here. It trumps any other statement made about punishment. It's a double whammy then. Lying would mean absolutely no TOTing and a loss of privileges. We try to make lying the worst possible thing you could do around here.
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Old 11-05-2012, 12:21 PM   #48
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Re: Update in OP 11/4 What would you do?

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You don't have to let her go because you said if she had a costume she could go. She lied, which is far worse than losing something or breaking something IMO. We have a pretty strict rule about lying here. It trumps any other statement made about punishment. It's a double whammy then. Lying would mean absolutely no TOTing and a loss of privileges. We try to make lying the worst possible thing you could do around here.
Well here I double punish for lying but punishment is different. She lost TV for a week due to the lie. Which for her is a killer and she doesn't get it but maybe an hour a day. She also wrote a nice long apology. None prompted just said she had to right one. Of course that lasted less then a day.

She has a huge issue with lying and she has always gotten double punishments. So I don't think it has anything to do with ToTing or not, IMO.

I didn't put this in earlier because it is the past. She has lost Halloween before due to lying and other actions. Not for same reason...never a costume issue. So yeah it doesn't phase this child. I do the lying punishments more for me then her anymore.

ETA: What I mean by double punish is I do natural consequence/punishment for the crime and then lying gets a totally different one.
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Old 11-05-2012, 04:44 PM   #49
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Is you DD in counseling? It seems like she would be a good candidate for it.
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Old 11-05-2012, 06:45 PM   #50
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Is you DD in counseling? It seems like she would be a good candidate for it.
She is supposed to see school counselor and will see Ped semi soon for that end. I finally have a teacher that sees what I have seen for years!

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