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Old 10-30-2012, 09:05 AM   #11
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I don't know much about this stuff, but is there a way to show pictures to a judge and get temporary supervised visitation because of the condition of the house? I'd be Doug anything... Calling CPS, showing pics to anyone who could help. I know your daughter would be devastated if dad pulled a douche move and stopped seeing her bc its no longer on her terms, but as a 28 year old looking back, I have a crappy relationship with my parents ANYWAY, because of the conditions they subjected me to. There is a LOT of deep resentment and I've been in and out of therapy for most of my adult life. I don't want to upset you, I'm just being honest as I have BTDT.

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Old 10-30-2012, 09:16 AM   #12
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There has got to be a way to still be in compliance with your visitation and not allow your daughter to step one toe in that home. Surely someone in a position of authority can recognize that living situation as unfit, and can't force you to expose your child to that.

What about the other kids there its so sad!

That is a tough situation, I'm so sorry. I hate to say it, but if seeing her on his terms meant in that home, I'm afraid he wouldn't be seeing her.
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Old 10-30-2012, 09:18 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by madebymommy
I don't know much about this stuff, but is there a way to show pictures to a judge and get temporary supervised visitation because of the condition of the house? I'd be Doug anything... Calling CPS, showing pics to anyone who could help. I know your daughter would be devastated if dad pulled a douche move and stopped seeing her bc its no longer on her terms, but as a 28 year old looking back, I have a crappy relationship with my parents ANYWAY, because of the conditions they subjected me to. There is a LOT of deep resentment and I've been in and out of therapy for most of my adult life. I don't want to upset you, I'm just being honest as I have BTDT.
I appreciate the honesty.
I'm hoping that showing the pictures and showing he has a history with CPS over the house will get him visits somewhere else until he can keep up on the house. I'm not sure what a judge will say, but hopefully he can say what CPS can't? I know they have rules & guidelines to follow, but I don't feel like any of the kids should have to live that way.

The CPS worker gave me his number and told me I could contact him with any questions or corners even after the case is closed. So that's something good at least. He seems to be a little more involved than the other workers
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Old 10-30-2012, 09:21 AM   #14
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You really need to call, like yesterday. It is unfathomable to me how an adult can live like that, much less force a child to do the same.
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Old 10-30-2012, 09:35 AM   #15
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You really need to call, like yesterday. It is unfathomable to me how an adult can live like that, much less force a child to do the same.
Who do I call though?
I'm already in contact with CPS & I'm filing paperwork today (I can't go until 2 to do it as my daughters school was canceled today and I'm not taking her with me to do it...so the babysitters are taking her an hour early so I can do it).

I sent his aunt a message about the house and I'm hoping maybe she can do something as its still under land contract. The other 3 kids mom knows about it, but my ex has sole custody of those kids & I'm not sure she really wants them anyways....she says she does, but not enough to do anything. Other than going back to court, I have no idea who there is left to contact
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Old 10-30-2012, 09:43 AM   #16
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Re: Ex violated our visitation agreement

So, does he rent the house from the Aunt? I'm confused on that scenario. Anyways, I'd pull out the big you-know-what pants and I'd go to the Aunt who I assume is the landlord. If she doesn't do anything, I'd report the dwelling to the municipality as not up to code/unsafe conditions or whatever I had to, to get someone there to inspect. I'd be up CPS' bum. If there STILL wasn't anything done, I'd start contacting the local media with pictures and my story - how I don't want my child subjected to these conditions, and I've gone through all the appropriate channels and no one wants to do anything. I would go to great lengths to protect my child from that, that is disgusting and there is no excuse for why a grown man can't keep his house clean for his kids.

I don't know how CPS isn't breathing down his neck... he must clean it just enough to pass and then let it go again.
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Old 10-30-2012, 10:04 AM   #17
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Re: Ex violated our visitation agreement

Yeah that is beyond disgusting. I think I would pee in my pants rather than go to the bathroom there. I wouldn't stop calling until something changes. Poor thing.
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Old 10-30-2012, 10:21 AM   #18
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4 years ago we were looking for a house. His grandma was selling hers, so we agreed to a land contract for 5 years, then we'd get a mortgage for the rest. His grandma ended up passing away about a year & a half ago. The "mortgage" is paid to his aunt every month. So I'm unsure if she has any control over the house still. He's under land contract until September of next year...but he's in no position to get a loan for a mortgage (hasn't worked in over 2 years & doesn't plan on working).

I sent his aunt a message asking for her help & I included all of the pictures. I let her know CPS has been in & out of the house over the condition of it. Believe me, I'm not quiet about this at all. The last CPS worker told me all she can do is tell him to clean it up. I said "all he's going to do is clean it for you & in 2 months you'll be back in there" and I was right.

So I've contacted anyone I can think of right now. If court doesn't work, I know someone who writes for our local paper and maybe I can get them to do a story?
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Old 10-30-2012, 11:20 PM   #19
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Re: Ex violated our visitation agreement

I worked in CPS in my state (Washington) and Washington has a stipulation that child neglect can be grounds for termination of parental rights IF it is ongoing for a period of time with no improvement. I would see if you can find out whether your state has something similar, and if so, I would keep calling CPS to file new cases. I would either wait until the case closed and then call to open a new one fairly within a couple weeks or I would come up with a way to word your report so it sounds like a new report, if they are keeping the initial one open for weeks.

Have any of the reports been founded for neglect?
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Old 10-30-2012, 11:22 PM   #20
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Re: Ex violated our visitation agreement

Oh, and if you have know anyone else who has had access to the house and could make a report, it would look better to have reports coming in from different sources. A teacher who notices a child smells at school due to an unclean home - a grandparent - etc.
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