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Old 11-01-2012, 02:32 AM   #1
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Vent of sorts...

I am starting to really not like having to use an OB. Never used one before, and this is babe #4. I am trying to figure out why I drove over an hour to see him, and was in and out of the entire office in 9 minutes. And that included ANOTHER Pap because they foiled the first one. The Nurse tosses papers at me and said I need to schedule my Anatomy scan after the 19th of Nov. This OB wants the scan done around 24wks. Why? That way if there is something "wrong" the Mother can't terminate. Ok, even if I wasn't 100% Prochoice, why is that HIS right to decide that? Turns out I will seen at almost 22 weeks because the next appt would be after I was 30wks, they are that backlogged. I had to go go the Lab and have the Quad screen done because he requires it. A bit contradictory since he won't do the follow up scan until much later, but anyhow....

I am having a hard time "bonding" with this pg. I had 5 losses in the 15months prior to this pg, and I find myself refusing to believe I am pg. Doesn't help I am not showing at all, and not feeling movement yet. I listen to the heartbeat, and saw Bubbles at 13wks, but I am so far from it all. We tried so hard to get here, and I am so scared of having it all taken away. I haven't told anyone, haven't bought anything, and don't talk about it. My DH tries to, he is just over the moon, and I change the topic. It is purely out of fear, and not anything more sinister, but it's so overpowering. DH has set up a Family trip for us to go the 6 hours into Billings, MT to the elective u/s place so hopefully we can call Bubbles but it's proper name and I can move forward with bonding and planning. By next Wednesday I *should* know what we are having and be able to tell our Families with actual enthusiasm about this pg. Has anyone else had issues being positive about their pg's?

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Old 11-01-2012, 03:27 AM   #2
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Re: Vent of sorts...

I felt very disconnected during my last pg (Our rainbow baby) and we had had multiple scans, even early ones, and even after we found out she was a girl, it took me quite awhile to start to connect. I did force myself to buy something cute for her- I think I was around 18-20 weeks. That did seem to help, I eventually started coming around, but probably wasn't until closer to 25-28 weeks that I really started to feel like it was really happening- I think because my loss was at 20 weeks I had to get past that point to move forward.

I'm sorry you don't like your OB- I think the office sounds horribly overbooked- can you go somewhere else?
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Old 11-01-2012, 03:31 AM   #3
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I felt that way with number 3. I'm sorry mama it's hard. I agree you need a new care provider.
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Old 11-01-2012, 06:31 AM   #4
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Re: Vent of sorts...

When I chose mine, I went on healthgrades.com and chose one that had 27 reviews with 100% satisfaction and I have not been sorry! Did you talk to him about your concerns? Please don't let this person dictate your feelings about your pregnancy!
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Old 11-01-2012, 07:39 AM   #5
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Re: Vent of sorts...

ugh. my ob was super fast too. i felt like a number. this is my first mw experience. i hope you can a a more nurturing dr

and sorry for all your losses. big hugs!! my scan is nov 19 and i'll be almost 21w.
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Old 11-01-2012, 07:53 AM   #6
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So sorry this pregnancy hasn't been a joy thus far I think a 4d u/s might help!? It's crazy to see your baby in real form rather then black and white!
Also agree on a new cars provider! We love love love our midwife....she's the most caring medical provider I've ever met!!
You mentioned being 6 hours from billings, but I'm assuming you're not west if billings...but if you' are close to Missoula though, I'll share my midwife with you!
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Old 11-01-2012, 10:22 AM   #7
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Re: Vent of sorts...

mama. that is so hard to feel like that. Why are they making you go to an ob? Even if you cant switch to a MW you have to switch obs. that guy/office sounds horrible! Dont hesitate to remind them that this is your pregnancy and your baby, and why you will take his advice into consideration YOU will be making the decisions! UGH! yet another reason why I am doing a home birth!!!! I cant stand that attitude! I have been feeling disconnected too, like I cant believe I'm pregnant. I mean I act excited around everyone and I am but it doesnt feel real. I guess thats because I'm almost 19 weeks and I'm not showing yet, and rarely feel anything. other than the horrible morning sickness and the lack of period I wouldn't know. I cant wait to start showing and start feeling pregnant we find out on Tuesday (19 weeks) what we are having. Good luck mama hang in there it will become real soon!
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Old 11-01-2012, 10:34 AM   #8
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Yes. After losing one of my twins with my first pregnancy I didn't really breathe easy until I held DD2 in my arms. I was overly positive in the hopes that would prevent problems. Then a miscarriage. Now with #3 I am very nervous about not feeling much movement despite an ultrasound and heartbeat all normal. You feel whatever you need to feel, and I hope everything works out for you!
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Old 11-01-2012, 01:06 PM   #9
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I'm so sorry this is a difficult time for you. I agree that you might be more at ease with a Dr. that fits more closely with your needs. (hugs)
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Old 11-01-2012, 03:04 PM   #10
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I'm so sorry your OB is being like that. When my sickness has been horrible its hard to feel the warm and fuzzies glad your DH is so supportive and hope your u/s goes great!
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