Am I thinking into this to much? M/C advice?

[mommycass]

DP

[Harmony96]

Originally Posted by Ellasundies They usually ask, "How many pregnancies have you had?" and follow it with, "How many children do you have." When they notice the discrepancy in the math there is only two options that could have happened to the missing child, miscarriage or abortion.

Or a live birth followed by neonatal or early childhood death.

[Harmony96]

If I can answer the question without it being "complicated" then I'll go ahead and say that I have four children (including the one still baking).

[RunawayBunny]

I just had this conversation with a good friend of mine and then my dh. My friend lost conjoined twins at 12 weeks just four weeks after I lost my baby (11 weeks). We both agreed that in our heads we still count those lost babies, but when someone asks we just say 1 (or 2 if you count our belly babies). Like a PP said, I always add the baby in my head when I respond as a little "love you" to the baby. My DH says he does everything he can not to think about the lost baby as a defense mechanism. When he said that I obviously didnt push him to talk about it anymore.

I also had a photo album started on my family blog and facebook that I named "Baby L_ 2". When I conceived my rainbow I titled the album "Another Baby L_". That's why I like the term "rainbow baby" even though I hardly use it. A rainbow is happy and pretty, but the storm is still there. The new baby is the sun coming in through the storm.

[Ellasundies]

Originally Posted by Harmony96 Or a live birth followed by neonatal or early childhood death.

True. Sorry Harmony if I came off as insensitive. I hadn't thought of that.

[Harmony96]

Originally Posted by Ellasundies True. Sorry Harmony if I came off as insensitive. I hadn't thought of that.

This thread was mostly about miscarriages, so it was a reasonable conclusion to draw. I wasn't offended but just wanted to add the rest of the options.

[happysmileylady]

I have never experienced an MC or anything so I hope you don't mind me posting.

My mom had a miscarriage at 13wks before she got pregnant with me. I have 2 sisters and a brother, so there are 4 of us. She has always said she has 4 kids, not 5. And I have always been the oldest of 4, not the 2nd of 5.

My DH's grandmother and my own great grandmother also both had children that were lost early...one at just a few days old, the other at about 3 months. Neither talked about it much, but I always heard them both answer something along the lines of "I had 2 kids, and lost another at birth" (my great grandmother always said that hers was stillborn, it wasn't until after she passed that we found in her records that the baby was actually 3 months old.)

I will say though, that in all 3 cases, the child was the first pregnancy, so perhaps that played into it.

[Ellasundies]

Originally Posted by Harmony96 This thread was mostly about miscarriages, so it was a reasonable conclusion to draw. I wasn't offended but just wanted to add the rest of the options.