Do you have a daily sched.?

[AutumnRose]

I am so sick of the chaos around here.

There needs to be some structure and I can't seem to be able to find it. I do not even know where to begin!

I need a daily schedule for dummies.

And I am being down right serious here! Anyone have a print out?

I want an itinerary...when to get up, when to shower, when to serve breakfast, when to clean (what will occupy the kids while Im cleaning)...when to make the kids clean up their toys, EVERYTHING!!!

I cant begin to tell you how many times I have sat down to write this up and I just get overwhelmed and my brain short circuits.

Anyone want to help out an over stressed, over worked, depressed mama at the end of her rope????

Thanks everyone!

[GEM Cloth]

Sounds like you need a routine rather than a schedule. Some people can do schedules and some cannot, and I'm one of the latter. I think you just need to get a handle on things and get things under control rather than have a strict time of when to do everything. What exactly is causing the problem anyway?

[KelseyH]

Originally Posted by GEM Cloth Sounds like you need a routine rather than a schedule. Some people can do schedules and some cannot, and I'm one of the latter. I think you just need to get a handle on things and get things under control rather than have a strict time of when to do everything. What exactly is causing the problem anyway?

I agree with this. I would kill myself trying to do the same things at the same *times* every day. We do the same things in the same order, and I honestly think it's comforting for DS, who always knows what's coming next. Routine, I think, is far more important than schedule. Schedules are too rigorous and too easy to fail at. What do you normally do when your day starts? Write it down and then pick one or two things you want to change at a time and do it gradually. Don't beat yourself up about the day not being as wonderfully productive as you wanted it to be (found myself wasting a lot of energy doing this).

[Teexie]

Try jotting down what actually happens at your house for a couple days, find the patterns, and make a routine. If there are no patterns, base the routine on whatever days were the least stressful and ran smoother. Tweak as needed.
This is sort of how our days go. Having a general routine is easier on DD. She happily lays down for naps, which was unheard of before this and I would spend an hour or more laying with her and trying to keep her still. We do a lot of the things at the same time every day just because that's kind of how it works out. Obviously there are different things thrown in there, like breaks in whatever I'm doing whenever DD toddles over with a toy, and she follows me around with books whenever I'm doing something else so there is a lot of book reading in the middle of all this stuff But maybe it will give you some ideas.

Wake up
Put on play clothes and play outside
I shower while DD either hangs out in the pack n play or comes in the shower with me.
Eat breakfast. She takes awhile so I clean up the kitchen while she eats.
Change DD into nicer clothes and go do whatever we're doing that day (park, play group, store, or walk the dog around the neighborhood if we're not going anywhere else).
DH comes home for lunch and we all eat. They have some good solid playtime while he's home and I do whatever chores need to be done.
After he leaves, we read some books and then she takes a nap
I clean up the toys while she's sleeping then chill until she wakes up
Snack
Back outside for play time
After we come in she plays while I do whatever...laundry, clean the house, get stuff for dinner ready, or just hang out and play.
Dinner
DH takes over with DD while I do whatever I need to do at home, or run errands, get groceries, walk the dog, go to dinner with a friend, sit at the bookstore for awhile...
Snack for DD
Bath
Bed

[TigersBabygirl]

Originally Posted by Teexie Try jotting down what actually happens at your house for a couple days, find the patterns, and make a routine. If there are no patterns, base the routine on whatever days were the least stressful and ran smoother. Tweak as needed. This is sort of how our days go. Having a general routine is easier on DD. She happily lays down for naps, which was unheard of before this and I would spend an hour or more laying with her and trying to keep her still. We do a lot of the things at the same time every day just because that's kind of how it works out. Obviously there are different things thrown in there, like breaks in whatever I'm doing whenever DD toddles over with a toy, and she follows me around with books whenever I'm doing something else so there is a lot of book reading in the middle of all this stuff But maybe it will give you some ideas. Wake up Put on play clothes and play outside I shower while DD either hangs out in the pack n play or comes in the shower with me. Eat breakfast. She takes awhile so I clean up the kitchen while she eats. Change DD into nicer clothes and go do whatever we're doing that day (park, play group, store, or walk the dog around the neighborhood if we're not going anywhere else). DH comes home for lunch and we all eat. They have some good solid playtime while he's home and I do whatever chores need to be done. After he leaves, we read some books and then she takes a nap I clean up the toys while she's sleeping then chill until she wakes up Snack Back outside for play time After we come in she plays while I do whatever...laundry, clean the house, get stuff for dinner ready, or just hang out and play. Dinner DH takes over with DD while I do whatever I need to do at home, or run errands, get groceries, walk the dog, go to dinner with a friend, sit at the bookstore for awhile... Snack for DD Bath Bed

That sounds like a great routine! I love how much outdoor play this involves!

@ op: I agree with everyone else, a routine might be better for you than a schedule!

[wordbox]

I agree, I'd work on a simple routine that is relatively easy to stick to, but also allows for some flexibility. I don't like things to be too strict as far as "oh, it's 9:00, we have to be doing this." We've fallen into a routine but I like that no one is thrown off too much if something goes awry or we have a change of plan. Our routine goes by cues from the kids, and what seems to naturally occur at our house.

I try to do a lot in the morning. This sets us up for the day. We get up, and have breakfast right away. I empty the dishwasher (I run it at night) so that we can put dirty dishes in there throughout the day (this helps keep the kitchen from getting out of control). I start laundry in the morning and make the bed. 2-3 times a week I also give the bathroom a wipe down so that it doesn't get dirty.

Throughout the day I do smaller tasks. Swap laundry, fold it, etc. Do any vacuuming or household chores like that. We pick up toys throughout the day. My two year old is very good with this and it's become a habit for him to help me. We just do it when things start to get messy, and then again before bed (the exception: if he's very tired, or crabby, I'm not going to make it a battle and will do it myself after he's in bed).

Naptime for the toddler occurs at around the same time each day, but we're flexible. It depends on what we have going on, how tired he is, if the baby is cooperating, etc.

In the evening, when my husband is home, is when I usually put laundry away (bedrooms are upstairs so it's easier to do that when he's with the kids). This is usually before or after dinner. This is also when I usually straighten up the bedrooms.

At night, I like to do another spurt of housework. Finish loading the dishwasher, run it before I go to bed, wipe down the kitchen, and do some final tidying (put away stray toys, put away random things that don't belong, etc). I like doing this because the next day I feel like we're starting out in a decently clean house. I don't always have the energy for this, but it's so worth it when I do!

I don't have specific times for when we do activities for the kids. It depends on moods, the weather, how much energy we have, etc. I think once the baby is a bit older we'll have a better routine as far as getting outside and doing fun things, but we are laying low lately. My 2 year old is a handful so it's hard to take him places with the baby if I'm by myself.

Doing things throughout the day makes it easier to entertain the kids while you clean. In the morning, my son is fairly low key and will snuggle and eat breakfast and we watch the Today Show. My husband helps in the morning, too, so I go upstairs and get a few things done while I have his help. It doesn't take long to run upstairs and swap laundry a couple times a day. I bring laundry back downstairs to fold. I just vacuum while he plays. I'm not against tv time. I also try to incorporate my toddler into chores. He loves to help empty the dishwasher, he loves "helping" with laundry, etc.

I save larger tasks for when I know my husband will be around to help with the kids. Especially if it's something that either takes a long time, or needs my undivided attention.

How old are your kids? Have them help when possible.

And don't be too hard on yourself. Some days are more productive than others. Some days fly by and go smoothly, other days don't. I figure my kids will remember our attitudes about things more than they'll remember if the laundry got put away.

[mibarra]

This is mine:

Wake up between 6:30-7:00
DH and I alternate showers and watching kids.
Breakfast 7:30-8
Play time or errands if I have any.
Morning snack around 10 if necessary.
Lunch 11-12 ish.
Naps/quiet time =cleaning for me. Older kiddos may watch TV during this time.
2-4 naps over and snack, depending.
5-6 dinner
Clean up time after dinner
7 bath
8 bed for kiddos
Once kiddos are asleep commence sitting on the couch staring blankly at nothing in exhaustion until I motivate myself to get up and go to bed, after making lunches or any other short, last minute chores.

[AutumnRose]

Everything is just depressing here.

I will have at most, two good weeks, where I have everything under control. Dishes and laundry kept up with, vacuum and sweep daily, quick wipe down of bathroom daily, beds made, the whole nine yards!

Then disaster strikes. I might have one day where I am not feeling well (been having some health issues) and DH and the kids will just destroy everything!

DH always changes at lest three times during the day and has several piles of clothes around the house that he plans on changing back into eventually. He leaves things out everywhere! And the kids are learning his bad habits. My island in the kitchen is devoted to his junk that he nearly has a panic attack over if I touch. I have no idea what half the stuff is most of the time and I end up tossing it into his back room. Which of course he refuses to organize or clean out because he's got "so many things to do".

When DS gets home from school he just drops everything in a trail to the living room. I have to constantly ask "Where do your shoes go, where does you backpack go, etc" He's usually pretty good about going back through and picking back up after himself. But it's annoying that he just refuses to do it in the first place (he's 4 and in PreK). Depending on his mood he's mostly helpful when it comes to picking up and putting his own clothes away. DD who is 3 is another story. Her favorite line is "I cant, I wewey wewey cant" or an overly dramatic "I cant doooo iiiiiiit!" as she slumps to the floor.

It doesnt help that the house is permanently under construction and atm we are all sharing one bedroom and I only have three closets. One is a tiny coat closet that I have finally gotten organized and looks awesome. Then our clothes closet is stuffed with me and two girls (ydd is 1) on one side and my crafting. While the other side is DH's and DS's.

Upstairs is under construction where we have the kid's three beds and dressers stuffed into one side that we are trying to finish. The other side of the attic is unusable and is just being used to store hand-me downs.

I just feel like everyone is working against me. Dont get me wrong DH is great in everything else, this is my only complaint with the man. And after almost 7 years I'm just getting to the point that I'm going to have to make some exceptions here and just pick up where he slacks. I'm just overwhelmed with it all.

ETA: DS has some transition issues, too. He has a melt down when I tell him it's time to do something else, time to eat, time to pick up, quiet time, etc. I just feel like if he was on a good routine he'd be prepared for what came next and I wouldnt have to fight him.

That and if I knew what was on the schedule, what I should be accomplishing, things might actually get done instead of burrying myself into something mindless and pointless to avoid the depression.

[Kiliki]

the routine that worked (works still!) the very best for us is this:

Breakfast
School/learning activity
Outside play or cartoons - weather depending
Lunch
Nap
Outside play or cartoons or reading or an art project
Dinner
Bedtime

That routine works the very best for our family. We've been doing the same exact routine for, like 4 yrs now. LOL

[mibarra]

Originally Posted by AutumnRose Everything is just depressing here. I will have at most, two good weeks, where I have everything under control. Dishes and laundry kept up with, vacuum and sweep daily, quick wipe down of bathroom daily, beds made, the whole nine yards! Then disaster strikes. I might have one day where I am not feeling well (been having some health issues) and DH and the kids will just destroy everything! DH always changes at lest three times during the day and has several piles of clothes around the house that he plans on changing back into eventually. He leaves things out everywhere! And the kids are learning his bad habits. My island in the kitchen is devoted to his junk that he nearly has a panic attack over if I touch. I have no idea what half the stuff is most of the time and I end up tossing it into his back room. Which of course he refuses to organize or clean out because he's got "so many things to do". When DS gets home from school he just drops everything in a trail to the living room. I have to constantly ask "Where do your shoes go, where does you backpack go, etc" He's usually pretty good about going back through and picking back up after himself. But it's annoying that he just refuses to do it in the first place (he's 4 and in PreK). Depending on his mood he's mostly helpful when it comes to picking up and putting his own clothes away. DD who is 3 is another story. Her favorite line is "I cant, I wewey wewey cant" or an overly dramatic "I cant doooo iiiiiiit!" as she slumps to the floor. It doesnt help that the house is permanently under construction and atm we are all sharing one bedroom and I only have three closets. One is a tiny coat closet that I have finally gotten organized and looks awesome. Then our clothes closet is stuffed with me and two girls (ydd is 1) on one side and my crafting. While the other side is DH's and DS's. Upstairs is under construction where we have the kid's three beds and dressers stuffed into one side that we are trying to finish. The other side of the attic is unusable and is just being used to store hand-me downs. I just feel like everyone is working against me. Dont get me wrong DH is great in everything else, this is my only complaint with the man. And after almost 7 years I'm just getting to the point that I'm going to have to make some exceptions here and just pick up where he slacks. I'm just overwhelmed with it all. ETA: DS has some transition issues, too. He has a melt down when I tell him it's time to do something else, time to eat, time to pick up, quiet time, etc. I just feel like if he was on a good routine he'd be prepared for what came next and I wouldnt have to fight him. That and if I knew what was on the schedule, what I should be accomplishing, things might actually get done instead of burrying myself into something mindless and pointless to avoid the depression.

Ugh. Then I think you're doing fine with ANYTHING you get done. Sounds like DH needs laundry duty since he changes more than a 4 year old girl going through the 'pretty princess dress up' phase. Sheesh. Good luck mama!