Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-23-2012, 06:52 AM   #1
paper_girl_76's Avatar
paper_girl_76
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,850
My Mood:
we lost our 17 mo old

I can't stop crying.

just looking for prayers to help my family through this mess. thank you


i don't know what to say but wanted to say something...we see the guy today about services and all that. We just realized yesterday that this is going to be expensive. i figured that we would be able to set up a payment plan so wasn't worried but mil said they wouldn't let her sis do it when her dh passed. but it was a different place...i guess we will see what they can do for us.

We are doing as well as can be expected. dh and I have random breakdowns. the kids seem absolutely fine so far, but relatives have kept them busy.

the first day was hard. my almost 3 yo asked where brandon was and was adamant that he was just outside playing. she wanted to go out and get him. today is another day...


We are having a small private memorial service at our home on sat. My parents are driving in from Ca. with my other sister. My youngest sister is here now. I think I am out of tears...for now. The kids are going back to school tomorrow. They seem to be doing ok. Ds started yelling about why Brandon had to leave. That he was mad at bran for leaving us. He was in his room alone, it ended as quickly as it began, but he didn't mention it...we didn't ask about it. He hasn't shown much emotion but I can tell he is feeling it. Dh is blaming me for not watching our son close enough. that stings. I am trying really hard not to be angry with him. He was the one driving the vehicle. it was our vehicle. We are going to sell it. I can't drive it now and with only 3 kids, I don't need it. besides, it will save us over 1000/month.

cost is no longer an issue. The home is donating their time and the crematorium doesn't charge for babies under 2. So it will just be the embalming (because we did want the kids to see him one last time) and the transportation charges from the city where they took him for the autopsy. Oh, and the urn.


5-7
so, life goes on...it kind of has to, at least for the other children. We are trying really hard to get back into a new sort of routine. The younger two seem to be doing fine. ds is having a harder time of it...we keep finding notes and letters he has written to brandon. And he is having trouble sleeping. I see a counselor tomorrow morning and the kids have an intake app tomorrow afternoon. Dh still needs to schedule his...they would not let me do it. Not sure if dh and I will make it through this. things weren't great to begin with. Thank you to everyone for your continued thoughts and prayers.


5-20
today will be 4 weeks. he would be 18 mos now. just 4 short weeks ago, at this time, I was whining about how often he still woke at night to nurse...
I am having a hard time right now...having trouble sleeping and yet completely exhausted. they say it gets easier with time, and I thought I was doing ok...dh is not helping. all we do is say horrible things to each other. I am not angry with him about this...I was very angry at first...when the ambulance was working on brandon and all the people were around, I would not let him touch me or even come near me...apparently this embarrassed him...like anyone would fault me at the time...but I decided in the hospital that we needed each other and that the kids need us and that it wouldn't do any good to be angry. but he has always been a jerk and I just don't have the emotional strength to deal with his crap right now...I have a few posts about him if anyone cares to dig them up...I really don't think we are going to make it through this.

Advertisement

__________________
tina UC mama of 5!

Last edited by Cricket; 03-24-2014 at 07:43 AM. Reason: update
paper_girl_76 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2012, 07:00 AM   #2
Kimmyann's Avatar
Kimmyann
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,504
My Mood:
Re: we lost our 17 mo old

Oh mama I am so sorry. You and your family have my prayers.
__________________
Adoption is my option!Adoptive Mom to Cory (6 years old)
Heartbreakingly long wait to adopt baby 2. (5 years waiting at this point with no end in sight) Please lord..end this wait soon.
Kimmyann is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2012, 07:01 AM   #3
mommyria2's Avatar
mommyria2
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,203
My Mood:
Re: we lost our 17 mo old

Oh my. I'm so sorry mama.
__________________
Maria, WOHM to Nate (9/23/2010) and Alex (5/5/2012) and wife to SAHD and high school sweetheart Aaron.
mommyria2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2012, 07:01 AM   #4
WynneBabies's Avatar
WynneBabies
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 6,545
My Mood:
Re: we lost our 17 mo old

I'm so sorry doesn't seem to be enough, mama. I will pray for you and your family.
__________________
A SAHM to four long out of diapers (all used cloth for all or part of their diapering years) and a baby girl currently in cloth part time.
WynneBabies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2012, 07:03 AM   #5
mom2luke&jake's Avatar
mom2luke&jake
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: totos native land
Posts: 865
My Mood:
Re: we lost our 17 mo old

((hugs)) you are in my prayers mama!
__________________
Renea Married to my highschool sweetie '05 Momma to 5 boys Luke&Zach ^l^ 7/4/06 Jake6/6/08 , Toby5/18/10 and Matt4/17/12
mom2luke&jake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2012, 07:06 AM   #6
Amaggiepie's Avatar
Amaggiepie
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 3,221
My Mood:
Re: we lost our 17 mo old

I'm so sorry mama. I can't imagine.
Amaggiepie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2012, 07:07 AM   #7
JellEBeanDesigns's Avatar
JellEBeanDesigns
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,739
My Mood:
Re: we lost our 17 mo old

It's okay to cry, all you want. I am so sorry and that doesn't even touch the pain I feel for you. Please breathe and each day will heal you a little bit although you will never be whole again I'm sorry so so so sorry
JellEBeanDesigns is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2012, 07:07 AM   #8
doodah's Avatar
doodah
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 9,957
Re: we lost our 17 mo old

This is so heartbreaking. I will be thinking of you and your family
doodah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2012, 07:12 AM   #9
Joyful Tie Dyes
Banned for reasons unrelated to transactions
www.joyfultiedyes.com
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Sunny SC
Posts: 13,547
My Mood:
Re: we lost our 17 mo old

Oh Tina my heart is just breaking for you I'm so sorry.
Joyful Tie Dyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2012, 07:12 AM   #10
Agla's Avatar
Agla
Administrator
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,745
My Mood:
Re: we lost our 17 mo old

I am so sorry.
__________________

Earn easy Amazon GCs with Perk TV
Soft Star shoes are awesome. Buy them here. I Twice $10 off on your first order at Twice.
Agla is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.