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Old 11-07-2012, 06:15 AM   #11
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Re: Who would you have…

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Originally Posted by RunawayBunny View Post
Its actually not hypothetical for me so I can easily answer. If I dont find someone to take care of my dogs I will be without DH (deployed), a sister (dont have on and my sil is not an option), and my mom (and mil) would not make it in time for a birth (and cant just take time off and wait). I do have a friend I could depend on, but she will be taking DS. Soooooo that leaves no one. I am definitely hiring a doula.

Most likely I will find a good place for my dogs, but I am preparing for all possibilities (well not all but you know...)
Hmm actually you make a point i hadn't considered. Who to have look after my cats while I'm in the hospital. Hospital stays are pretty short here generally (especially in April as apparently our city has a little mini baby boom 9 months after an even we hold in July) so 2 of the 3 would likely be fine with a big bowl of food and water. The third however gets medication twice daily. Hmmm guess I'll have to get someone trained up in his care.

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Old 11-07-2012, 07:19 AM   #12
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Re: Who would you have…

With DS I was single, I had my sister with me and that was it. If I were you I would find a doula I loved. That way if your friend ends up being a bad choice perhaps the doula can see her out of the room. In the end, I really don't even remember my sister at all during my labor(natural, no meds) I was so focused on my labor. Of course I was glad she was there to take pictures though
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Old 11-07-2012, 07:29 AM   #13
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I'm very close to two of my aunts and they've both had three kids each. I would have one of them, because personally speaking I would need someone I had known and trusted for years.
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Old 11-07-2012, 08:15 AM   #14
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Re: Who would you have…

in your case I would definately say doula! never had one, no idea what fees are etc, but in your situation I would think she would be priceless. just my opinion.
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Old 11-07-2012, 10:56 AM   #15
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One of my best friends will be at the birth acting as my doula. I would definitely recommend a doula.


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Originally Posted by KendallMarie

Hmm actually you make a point i hadn't considered. Who to have look after my cats while I'm in the hospital. Hospital stays are pretty short here generally (especially in April as apparently our city has a little mini baby boom 9 months after an even we hold in July) so 2 of the 3 would likely be fine with a big bowl of food and water. The third however gets medication twice daily. Hmmm guess I'll have to get someone trained up in his care.
We used to leave our cats regularly for a couple days at a time. We set out several water bowls, filled their regular food bowl, and tucked food bowls around the house for them to eat at they found them, cleaned the little box and added extra litter, and they were always fine.
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Old 11-07-2012, 10:57 AM   #16
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Re: Who would you have…

my Best friend would be there... No questions asked...
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Old 11-07-2012, 11:18 AM   #17
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Re: Who would you have…

I also don't have a husband. I won't have either of my sister's because neither of them will be helpful if that make's sense. I have one friend who is a great support....I also been at her last 2 births. And my mom...regardless of many times I get into with her and we don't agree on things, she will make sure I am taken care of and knows how I want to birth. I also watched her have two children and she labors like me. If neither of them were available I would go it alone...to me the experience is very internal and spiritual I don't need anyone to cheer me on.
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Old 11-07-2012, 03:27 PM   #18
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Re: Who would you have…

If I were in your shoes I would have a Doula. Last time I had my now ExDH in the room and my Mom started out in there. His Mom was upset because my Mom was in there but she was not allowed to be. Sorry, but my mother has seen my crotch before and I didn't care that my MIL was a nurse, I didn't want her there. In the end I kicked my mom out because she was basically telling me to suck it up, that it didn't hurt, she did it 3 times and just overall making me mad. This time it will just be my DH and I and that is it. I don't know your whole situation but if you don't have someone that you know and trust to stand by your side and your decisions then I would work on finding a Doula. Some even recommend one if you do have a support system. I wish you luck in making your decision, and at the end of the day if you do choose one of your friends or family and they are just making things worse, you can ask them to be removed. Yes, I know this from experience, I had to ask for my own mother to be removed because she refused to leave lol.
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Old 11-07-2012, 03:33 PM   #19
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Re: Who would you have…

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Originally Posted by RunawayBunny View Post
Its actually not hypothetical for me so I can easily answer. If I dont find someone to take care of my dogs I will be without DH (deployed), a sister (dont have on and my sil is not an option), and my mom (and mil) would not make it in time for a birth (and cant just take time off and wait). I do have a friend I could depend on, but she will be taking DS. Soooooo that leaves no one. I am definitely hiring a doula.

Most likely I will find a good place for my dogs, but I am preparing for all possibilities (well not all but you know...)
http://www.operationspecialdelivery.com/index.htm

That is an organization that helps to connect Spouses of Deployed Military members with Doula's that volunteer to be there for you free of charge. My last birth we were not sure if DH was going to deploy or be held back long enough for the birth (the unit deployed 10 days before she came and they let him stay back a few weeks) and I had applied and was going to have a free doula if he wasn't going to be there. Might be worth looking into since your hubby will be deployed .
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Old 11-07-2012, 05:07 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KendallMarie

Hmm actually you make a point i hadn't considered. Who to have look after my cats while I'm in the hospital. Hospital stays are pretty short here generally (especially in April as apparently our city has a little mini baby boom 9 months after an even we hold in July) so 2 of the 3 would likely be fine with a big bowl of food and water. The third however gets medication twice daily. Hmmm guess I'll have to get someone trained up in his care.
Thanks! Melilo also told me about that! Definitely gonna look into that.
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