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Old 11-12-2012, 11:35 PM   #81
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

REALLY LONG POST---sorry!

So, I didn't actually see my doc today. I was supposed to see him for the ultrasound and to go over the test results (DH's karyotype and my own first trimester blood screening tests, etc) and to discuss my upcoming cerclage. However, my doc has Monday morning meetings in SD (30 mins south of the clinic location where I was sent) and the meeting ran way over and he didn't make it up to Encinitas in time for my appointment. They promised that he'd call me if my test results were problematic---and that he'll be at my next appointment on the 26th. He'd better be!

Thank GOD I figured out how to get rid of that yeast infection (my FIRST. OMG---they are AWFUL!) with probiotics only (yay being natural!) and didn't need a damn prescription. And I was REALLY wanting my questions about my cerclage answered (I have a list!)---and to talk to him about doing the cerclage prophylactically instead of waiting on my cervix to change (he said this was an option, but was leaning toward wait and see and the more research I did, the more that made me nervous). So, I really was looking forward to TALKING to my doc since I hadn't seen him in FIVE weeks. If I don't get a call from his office this week, I'm going to call and make SURE he will be at my next appointment (I scheduled it for later in the day so he SHOULD be out of the meeting). If he's not, I'll be waiting in office to see him, even if it is only for 5 mins. My next apointment I'll be just shy of 14 weeks and I'd like my cerclage to be placed 14-16 weeks.


NOW for what did happen at the appointment, which was JUST an ultrasound:
We, of course, saw baby. And, despite my worries and fears, we found baby to be growing and wiggling and moving around like a pro Baby's heart rate was a perfect 160ish beats per minute and baby was measuring an amazing FOUR DAYS over. Considering baby measured ONE day over at 7 weeks, I'd say baby is growing along just perfectly. Smidget swears baby is a big huge baby (or will be), so maybe baby is just listening to Big Brother and growing fast. He tells baby to grow up big and strong and come play with him EVERY day, so it must be working at least a little

As for my cervix, its 4.4cm (a good healthy long cervix. at 20 weeks it was 2.9cm with Smidget---more proof to me that I've had IC all along [either prior to or as a result of my cone biopsy] and only the scar tissue held my cervix closed to deliver him at full term), my cervix tightly closed, with NO signs of funneling!!! Gives us a good "pre" measure to compare back to later on in pregnancy---that's VITAL and gives me a little bit of breathing room. Not that I'm not still taking it easy, but I know that my current activity level (no lifting!) and such are doing the job! Woot!

As for baby, well, baby is stubborn and really really doesn't like the ultrasound wand---and I now have ZERO doubt that what I've been feeling IS BABY because baby was giving hell to the ultrasound wand today and I got to watch all those kicks and thumps and bumps as I felt them. The tech even said it had to be baby! And baby has been going nuts in there ever since too. One of the kicks at the appointment was so hard it made me JUMP. I didn't know they could give full on KICKS that early. This is one strong little fighter baby working away in there! And oh soooo active. In fact, baby was curled up in a ball so tight when she started scanning and as soon as she pushed down a little with the wand to get a clearer pic, baby JUMPED and bounced off the wall and started doing the cha-cha. From then on out, EVERY time she'd get the angle she needed to get a good shot (mostly the nuchal fold) baby would roll or turn so she'd have to readjust---then she would get it again and baby would wiggle around so much she couldn't get a clear picture. It was HILARIOUS. And I've never seen a baby contort into such a tight ball or wiggle so much at 11 weeks. I had an ultrasound with Smidget at about the same gestation and it was so different---and he was really active too!

This kid is STRONG though---surprised me how early I started feeling that "um, I don't think that was a gas bubble" (8weeks) or "oh no, that's definitely not gas" (9.5 weeks) to daily movements at least once or twice a day (10.5-11 weeks), to a full on KICK (11w5d). This kid is fighting hard. I know there are some skeptics out there who are going to think I'm nuts, but I am just as amazed as most people that this is happening so soon! Okay, maybe not since I felt Smidget at 9 weeks (first flutter) and then nothing til about 11 weeks when I started getting flutters more often, then a full kick at 16 weeks...first flutters at 9 weeks and first kick at 14 weeks with Deagan...now this baby. So, I know I'm really sensitive to uterine wiggles than most (after analyzing EVERYTHING my body does through 8 pregnancies, I've got it down to an art!)---add in that this baby's placenta is perfectly positioned exactly in the back of the uterus (woohoo! No placenta previa like i had with Smidget!), it puts baby more toward the front of the uterus where I can feel more. God is cutting me a few breaks at least!

So, that's it in a nutshell---growing belly, bumps and kicks, and gorgeous perfect baby pictures. Pretty awesome day

FIRST--blurry cell phone pic of me just before walking out the door to my appointment.

Next---gorgeous baby with cute little open mouth and an adorable nose.


My dummy-proofed pic (my mom can never tell what anything is, haha)


Cute little frontal face shot:


Legs and butt (look at those chubby little legs! I like my babies fat ) And those look like some big ol' feet down there at the bottom. You can only see the heels, but they're pretty big! Both my boys had HUGE feet---wonder if a girl would have huge feet too? I have little feet!



And here's one causing controversy on my FB---is that a nub (google "nub theory" if you don't know what I"m talking about)? Is the nub pointing down? Down means girl. The placenta test is no help (its been directly in the back from the beginning), so I'm curious as to whether this is a true nub shot or not since I've never seen one before---And I wouldn't have this one if I hadn't taken a pic of what was left on the screen when the tech left the room just because it was clearer on screen than in the printouts and I wanted a good shot


And, finally, baby touching his/her face:



And the cutest big brother on the planet snuggling mama (this is just about the time my awful sleep last night caught up to me and I passed out on the couch for two hours)---



Such a good day

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Old 11-12-2012, 11:53 PM   #82
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

Erica-YAY for the ticker!

Kate-love the rainbow bear! Makes me wish we had a build-a-bear here.

Marie-awesome on the u/s and baby being so active. Poo on the Dr not being available. You need to move your ticker though I think!
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Old 11-13-2012, 06:02 AM   #83
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

Good Morning, I've been waiting for a week with all of these BFP tests in my hands, and need to talk to someone but am in no way ready to tell anyone yet.

We found out in May that our third baby, Ella had trisomy 13. I carried her till 34 w5d when we had to deliver because I developed pre-eclampsia (weird to have it in the 3rd pregnancy only but they think the trisomy may have had something to do with it) We had Ella with us for 2 hours and 10 minutes. It was fantastic. the last four months have been hard but we are doing ok. I just started talking to hubby about going to see a counselor these past few weeks because I'm missing her so much and he and I are at such different points in our grief.

We didn't start on birth control after having her. My MW said to wait a year to try but not much after that because I am already 36years old. Well, 4 months is not a year. I'm trying to keep my emotions in check. But.... it's the holidays and she's not here and I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!! And due just two weeks after what would have been her first birthday.

I'm praying so hard that this baby is growing healthy and strong and that all will be well.
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Old 11-13-2012, 07:11 AM   #84
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

Welcome Shannon. What a blessing to be pregnant again. Hope things go well for you.

Marie- YAY! For a great ultrasound and wiggly baby.
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Old 11-13-2012, 07:53 AM   #85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s2grace
Good Morning, I've been waiting for a week with all of these BFP tests in my hands, and need to talk to someone but am in no way ready to tell anyone yet.

We found out in May that our third baby, Ella had trisomy 13. I carried her till 34 w5d when we had to deliver because I developed pre-eclampsia (weird to have it in the 3rd pregnancy only but they think the trisomy may have had something to do with it) We had Ella with us for 2 hours and 10 minutes. It was fantastic. the last four months have been hard but we are doing ok. I just started talking to hubby about going to see a counselor these past few weeks because I'm missing her so much and he and I are at such different points in our grief.

We didn't start on birth control after having her. My MW said to wait a year to try but not much after that because I am already 36years old. Well, 4 months is not a year. I'm trying to keep my emotions in check. But.... it's the holidays and she's not here and I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!! And due just two weeks after what would have been her first birthday.

I'm praying so hard that this baby is growing healthy and strong and that all will be well.
Congrats on the pregnancy---we're all familiar with those first few days of terror. I hope this baby is growing well and that blood tests, ultrasounds, and such can calm your fears as you move through this pregnancy. I'm sorry for your loss and wish you the best!

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Old 11-13-2012, 08:28 AM   #86
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

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Originally Posted by myblessedbaby View Post
My u/s is on Wed.
for a great u/s

Quote:
Originally Posted by newcdmommy29 View Post
Oh man I have my appointment on Wednesday. I'm excited and nervous. I can hear baby boo on my home Doppler which is a big sigh of relief though. I think I might ask for an ultrasound even if they find a heartbeat. I need a picture in case something happens to this baby. I've had ultrasounds of all of my babies so far and I would feel awful if I didn't get one with this one too. Any chance my midwife will go for that :/ hmm. I guess we will just have to wait and see.
for a great appt for you.
I would tell your MW exactly what you've said there - if she's a good care provider, she will allow for at least a quick scan, enough to get a good pic if nothing else. I think that is a totally valid want, especially given the circumstances. Good luck!

Quote:
Originally Posted by quicksilverNHS View Post
So, that's it in a nutshell---growing belly, bumps and kicks, and gorgeous perfect baby pictures. Pretty awesome day
First off - for a healthy bouncing baby in there!!! That's wonderful!!! And measuring ahead is just icing on the cake!!! I have no clue about the whole nub theory thing

Second - those pics

Third - shucks about the Dr not being there. I know how you were wanting to discuss the cerclage thing, and the more I think about it the more I feel like you've got the right idea. I'm assuming he is thinking "wait and see" because of the possible risks that can come with cerclage... but with your history, it really seems highly, highly likely that you will start to dilate and have issues. Which means that the risks are going to have to be faced at some point. And, in my brain anyways, it makes more sense that there would be less risk with a still closed/long cervix than with a cervix that's all ready effacing and dilating. I'm no expert. Not even close. But that just seems to make sense to me.
I'd definitely be waiting to talk with him next time, if he isn't there for the whole appt. At that point you'll need to be making appts and getting things done, not just discussing and thinking, kwim? for you with that, and everything and everyone stays safe and cozy until then.

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Originally Posted by s2grace View Post
Good Morning, I've been waiting for a week with all of these BFP tests in my hands, and need to talk to someone but am in no way ready to tell anyone yet.

We found out in May that our third baby, Ella had trisomy 13. I carried her till 34 w5d when we had to deliver because I developed pre-eclampsia (weird to have it in the 3rd pregnancy only but they think the trisomy may have had something to do with it) We had Ella with us for 2 hours and 10 minutes. It was fantastic. the last four months have been hard but we are doing ok. I just started talking to hubby about going to see a counselor these past few weeks because I'm missing her so much and he and I are at such different points in our grief.

We didn't start on birth control after having her. My MW said to wait a year to try but not much after that because I am already 36years old. Well, 4 months is not a year. I'm trying to keep my emotions in check. But.... it's the holidays and she's not here and I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!! And due just two weeks after what would have been her first birthday.

I'm praying so hard that this baby is growing healthy and strong and that all will be well.
Congrats on this new baby, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl.

I kwym about your DH and you being at different points in your grief - it's such a personal thing. I had times when I truly felt like he wasn't grieving at all, like he didn't care about our loss. But I've come to realize that everyone feels and shows their grief in different ways, at different times.

We all know the worries and fears that come with these rainbow pregnancies. This is an absolutely awesome thread. I'm so incredibly grateful that it was all ready started and here waiting (it seemed like!) when I needed to come back online for some support.

with you that all is well with your new little bean - that s/he is healthy and growing just right.

AFM: Poked and bugged Hiccup this morning before getting out of bed (before Levi woke and made me get up). Nothing. I don't necessarily think something has gone wrong... but it makes for a harder hoping day when I don't feel anything to start the day.
I realized, too, as I was laying there and thinking about needing to get to the Drs... that I can't go on a day when I feel nothing. I just can't. I need some reassurance that things are going to be okay before I can get the courage to get there. I'm trying to figure out, too, if I have the strength to do it without DH or not.

and then part of me just thinks "hey, if all those women can go without any prenatal care, whether those that don't go or those that don't even know they're pregnant, and then have a healthy baby... well, do i really need to?"
I honestly don't know how much I'll be able to do, at least not until an u/s to see how things are with Hiccup. I definitely won't be booking any future appts until after that point.
I don't know what I'm doing. I'm scared not to go... but because it's the "right" thing to do according to everyone. But I'm terrified to go... because... well, because.
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Old 11-13-2012, 10:13 AM   #87
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s2grace
Good Morning, I've been waiting for a week with all of these BFP tests in my hands, and need to talk to someone but am in no way ready to tell anyone yet.

We found out in May that our third baby, Ella had trisomy 13. I carried her till 34 w5d when we had to deliver because I developed pre-eclampsia (weird to have it in the 3rd pregnancy only but they think the trisomy may have had something to do with it) We had Ella with us for 2 hours and 10 minutes. It was fantastic. the last four months have been hard but we are doing ok. I just started talking to hubby about going to see a counselor these past few weeks because I'm missing her so much and he and I are at such different points in our grief.

We didn't start on birth control after having her. My MW said to wait a year to try but not much after that because I am already 36years old. Well, 4 months is not a year. I'm trying to keep my emotions in check. But.... it's the holidays and she's not here and I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!! And due just two weeks after what would have been her first birthday.

I'm praying so hard that this baby is growing healthy and strong and that all will be well.
Hey mama...just wanted to say I had a Trisomy 13 baby as well. He was delivered at almost 24 weeks on 10-22-10. He was the last of our frozen embryos as we did IVF/ICSI. I somehow convinced DH to do it ALL over again and we are now almost 28 weeks with 1 healthy babe. We are due 5 days before what would have been Jack's second birthday had he been born on his due date.
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Old 11-13-2012, 10:40 AM   #88
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

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And due just two weeks after what would have been her first birthday.

I'm praying so hard that this baby is growing healthy and strong and that all will be well.
Welcome. I'm due with this rainbow exactly a month after my angel's first birthday and three days after we lost him.
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Old 11-13-2012, 11:56 AM   #89
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

Welcome Shannon thanks for joining our group! I'm so sorry for the loss of Ella....but what a beautiful story. Congrats on your new baby.... for a happy and healthy 9 months for you!

Marie--YEAH for a great ultrasound! keep pushing those doc's to listen to you!!
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Old 11-13-2012, 04:08 PM   #90
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (November)

Marie--yay! Sooo glad you had an amazing day and wonderful ultrasound! Sorry you didn't get to talk with your doctor... that's disappointing, but it's totally awesome that you got such a great ultrasound.

Shannon -- I'm so sorry for your loss, mama. Welcome to the group... and I'm glad you and I are in the same DDC.
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