Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-12-2012, 09:17 AM   #1
ecbcmomma's Avatar
ecbcmomma
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,180
She is almost 3...

And although I love nursing her...I'm so tired. She still wakes at night for feedings. I've tried to just rock and comfort her back to sleep, but she cries and claws her way to eat. I guess if nights weren't so silly it would be fine. I'm over getting offended by family members saying "you are still nursing her!". I'm over being shy about nip. I just wish I could be over nursing her at night too :'(. Its bittersweet...but I'm so tired.

Advertisement

ecbcmomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2012, 09:34 AM   #2
~*~Sunflower~*~
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,506
Re: She is almost 3...

I sooo know the feeling! My dd will be 3 this weekend & I feel the same. I have nursed 6 children, most of them for longer than this, but I really just want to be done. I don't NIP & I try to keep the fact that we are nursing on the down-low LOL, but the nights? ugh. I just want to sleep through a night!!!
~*~Sunflower~*~ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2012, 09:51 AM   #3
BeccaSueCongdon's Avatar
BeccaSueCongdon
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,621
Quote:
Originally Posted by ecbcmomma
And although I love nursing her...I'm so tired. She still wakes at night for feedings. I've tried to just rock and comfort her back to sleep, but she cries and claws her way to eat. I guess if nights weren't so silly it would be fine. I'm over getting offended by family members saying "you are still nursing her!". I'm over being shy about nip. I just wish I could be over nursing her at night too :'(. Its bittersweet...but I'm so tired.
Hugs, mama. The breastfeeding relationship should continue as long as BOTH parties are satisfied with it. :-). You've given her an amazing start. And if you feel like you are ready to transition out of it, then its ok to start exploring how to do that. There are lots of ways to do that and you can explore options to help find a good fit for her temperament.

If you're looking to continue and let her self-wean, then you can also explore some options for maybe might weaning and then make more time for nursing/cuddling during the day.

She is old enough to cognitively understand the "why" of night weaning. It will probably be hard and sad for her, but you've given her and amazing attached start and that will help her get through a difficult weaning phase if that's what you choose. :-)
BeccaSueCongdon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2012, 11:51 AM   #4
Erinne's Avatar
Erinne
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,699
Re: She is almost 3...

We nightweaned right after my dd turned 2. It was AWFUL for a couple of weeks, but so worth it. We mostly followed the Jay Gordon method (I kept nursing her to sleep at the beginning of the night) and we kept cosleeping through it. Dd still wakes once or twice a night, but she goes back to sleep quickly, usually. I'd seriously consider it, 3 years of night nursing sounds like enough to break anyone.
__________________
Mama to Ada, 7-23-09 and Sylvia, 11-27-13
Erinne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2012, 01:45 PM   #5
VeganCupcake
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,707
Re: She is almost 3...

Nightwean!! My DD is 4 and I would never be able to still nurse her (a couple of times a day) if she weren't nightweaned. We started when she was around 18 months old and it took a few months because I was inconsistent, but the results were worth it.
__________________
Catherine, mama to Preschooler Girl 9/08, Toddler Boy 3/11, and Twin Girls 2/14!
VeganCupcake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2012, 10:20 PM   #6
Celestials
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Utah
Posts: 137
Re: She is almost 3...

I am also interested in weaning at night... What resources/methods would you recommend?
Celestials is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2012, 10:38 PM   #7
BeccaSueCongdon's Avatar
BeccaSueCongdon
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,621
The jay Gordon one is a nice gradual one if you have the patience for it. I knew my DS would scream his face off forever no matter what method we did, so I went cold turkey.

Here's what I did;
The day of our first night, I spent lots of time playing with him and his favorite bear and "tucking the bear in" to sleep play. My DS had just started doing that with his bear so I knew he grasped the concept of "night night." We took turns tucking the bear in, them him, then me.

Then at bedtime I got him a spill proof sippy cup and brought that to bed with us. I let him nurse until he was mostly asleep, and talked him through "mommy go night night, goodnight mommy," on down the line (him, bear). Then when he was done nursing I said, "boobie go night night too. Say goodnight boobies." And "we wake up with the sunshine, see you tomorrow boobies." Then when he woke up to nurse later I would hand him the sippy cup and gently/calmly say, "it's night time. Mommy sleeping, Ethan sleeping, bear sleeping, and boobies are sleeping."

He threw a major conniption fit every time for the first two nights and then I gradually tamed down. It was hard, but I knew for his temperament that a consistent cold turkey approach was best.
BeccaSueCongdon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2012, 08:46 AM   #8
Celestials
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Utah
Posts: 137
Re: She is almost 3...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeccaSueCongdon View Post
The jay Gordon one is a nice gradual one if you have the patience for it. I knew my DS would scream his face off forever no matter what method we did, so I went cold turkey.

Here's what I did;
The day of our first night, I spent lots of time playing with him and his favorite bear and "tucking the bear in" to sleep play. My DS had just started doing that with his bear so I knew he grasped the concept of "night night." We took turns tucking the bear in, them him, then me.

Then at bedtime I got him a spill proof sippy cup and brought that to bed with us. I let him nurse until he was mostly asleep, and talked him through "mommy go night night, goodnight mommy," on down the line (him, bear). Then when he was done nursing I said, "boobie go night night too. Say goodnight boobies." And "we wake up with the sunshine, see you tomorrow boobies." Then when he woke up to nurse later I would hand him the sippy cup and gently/calmly say, "it's night time. Mommy sleeping, Ethan sleeping, bear sleeping, and boobies are sleeping."

He threw a major conniption fit every time for the first two nights and then I gradually tamed down. It was hard, but I knew for his temperament that a consistent cold turkey approach was best.

Thanks for this. I'm nervous about it, but I know I'm ready to sleep.
Celestials is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2012, 09:05 AM   #9
keen1981's Avatar
keen1981
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 12,360
Quote:
Originally Posted by ecbcmomma
And although I love nursing her...I'm so tired. She still wakes at night for feedings. I've tried to just rock and comfort her back to sleep, but she cries and claws her way to eat. I guess if nights weren't so silly it would be fine. I'm over getting offended by family members saying "you are still nursing her!". I'm over being shy about nip. I just wish I could be over nursing her at night too :'(. Its bittersweet...but I'm so tired.
Have not read any other Replys.

But she is controlling the nursing sessions. There comes a point, when clawing and demanding the breast, for a 3 yr old is NOT okay. It's a relationship. And it has to be enjoyable by both parties.

I would start to weAn, personally. I would have DH tend to her at night. Hitting, clawing, scratching- anything violent is NOT okay. And she should be told that. While it is a source of comfort, kids transition very well with boundaries and consistency. As they get older, they get stronger and more defiant. To her- the breasts are hers. So it's important to discuss how nursing at night is no longer going to happen. Perhaps provide a new snugly and of course a sippie- of water.

I think it's a normal adjustment process. Child is reluctant but parent must remain firm. It's like most things we have to teach our kids.

On a side note. Please commit. At that age, one night one- you eventually give in, you just stepped back the whole process for a long time. She will learn very quickly how easily age can win you over by screaming/crying/clawing.

Have DH be comforting (but firm, nothing aggressive is allowed for her to do) your DH will be exhausted and frustrated but also must be committed. You can not- ever, 'rescue' her. That's demeaning to your DH and shows DD that DH is not worthy of comforting and she will continue to refuse him.

When we night weaned- my sons and DH bonded so much more than we thought possible. They started seeking daddy for things not just mommys boobies. It was wonderful as a family to share in that as my DH is gone a lot.
__________________
BFing, CDing, all natural mama to three boys! Certified lactation Counselor
keen1981 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2012, 11:20 AM   #10
Erinne's Avatar
Erinne
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,699
Re: She is almost 3...

Here's what night weaning at 2 looked like for us:
1st 3 nights, I nursed her all the way to sleep, and then every time she woke we did whatever it took to get her back to sleep without nursing, often hours of reading or going outside, eating a snack, watching tv when I was just too exhausted, whatever. We just went from bedtime until sun up in the morning, since I thought the JG 7 hour thing would just be confusing since she can't tell time but she can see when it's day. She cried A LOT and it literally took hours to get her back to sleep multiple times a night. I was doing most all of it since dh had to work the next day.
2nd 3-ish (probably more like a week) nights, I nursed her to sleep and when she woke, we stayed in bed with the lights off, but I'd rock her, sing to her, tell stories, (be hit, bitten, screamed at, you know). It usually took about an hour per wake, with 2-3 wakes per night.
The next week or so, I nursed her to sleep, and when she woke up, I'd snuggle her and rub her back in bed and it usually took 10-30 minutes, 2-3 wakes per night, with usually one really bad one (like an hour of screaming) every other night or so.
It took about a month for her to fully adjust. I kept doing the initial nurse to sleep (she was only nursing a few times a day at that point and I wasn't trying to fully wean her) for about a year after she night weaned. She gave it up easily when she started really full-on weaning after she turned 3. For what it's worth, after all of that hell getting her to night wean, she really did end up just weaning on her own very easily in the end.
She still wakes usually once or twice to crawl from her bed right next to ours into our bed, but it's SO much easier and I feel SO much better. It's hard, but she will adjust and be fine. Like a pp poster said though, you have to be ready to commit. We tried night weaning a few times before the one that ultimately worked, and I gave up too easily.
__________________
Mama to Ada, 7-23-09 and Sylvia, 11-27-13
Erinne is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.