Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-11-2012, 02:08 AM   #1
AmeliasMum's Avatar
AmeliasMum
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: West Plains, MO
Posts: 1,115
My Mood:
Hospital delivery w/3 Littles and no extended Family?

Hi Ladies,

This is something that has been bothering me. First off, I don't know what the policy is at the Hospital I will be delivering at. I am assuming it isn't as liberal as most, if it follows true to the rest of its rules. I am thinking my other children will not be allowed in the room with me for long periods of time. Which brings up an interesting dilema. All we have here is DH, myself and our Children (6-3-2.) We have no other Family closer than 6 hours, and that would be DH's parents who both work full time and aren't that interested. My Parents are 2000 miles away, and don't fly, and getting to ND in very early Spring is weather sensitive. Plus they have a ranch full of livestock. We have no babysitters, or even ANY friends here other than people we might say Hi to in town. So where does that leave us when I am in labor? I went through all of my last labor and delivery with my DH en route from ND to CA, and my Parents had taken my children back to the ranch, 30 minutes away. Now I am facing a similar event, even though DH and I will be together. I am not even sure if this Hospital offers tours, as far as I have been able to find out, they don't. How do I even know what I am getting into? Ugh

Advertisement

AmeliasMum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2012, 02:19 AM   #2
mg5g
Self Ban
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,604
My Mood:
Re: Hospital delivery w/3 Littles and no extended Family?

First - Call the hospital and find out about a tour. Even if they don't have an official one they should let you look around.

Second - Hire a sitter and or doula if you can. You are going to need someone either with the kids or with you. If you can't bring your mom out, which would be my first suggestion, then you are going to have to hire someone. For my last labour my parents watched my kids in the hall and DH went back and forth between DD and me. DD was in a panic and kept crying (she was still afraid of "stranger" including my parents) so DH kept having to go back and forth. In the end DD and our other kids ended up in the lobby with my dad since DH was going to miss it if he left again to go home for DD. DD did spend some time in the room with me but our older boys didn't. DD was only 13 months though.

My third suggestion baring all else -- can you go to your parents? Take the kids and go a few weeks before baby is born. They can watch the kids, you can be in a hospital you know and DH can hop a flight when it is "time".
mg5g is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2012, 02:22 AM   #3
BeccaSueCongdon's Avatar
BeccaSueCongdon
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,621
You should be able to call their general number and ask about the tours.

Do you have the funds to hire a sitter or a "sibling doula?" You may be able to search in the DONA website for DONA educators, and contact them to ask if they have any students looking for qualifying births. They usually do those at low to no cost in exchange for written feedback for them to submit with their certification requirements.

You could also search Craigslist for nanny's for hire and see if any of them (with good references that check out of course) would be interested in a temporary on-call gig.
BeccaSueCongdon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2012, 02:23 AM   #4
BeccaSueCongdon's Avatar
BeccaSueCongdon
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,621
My third suggestion baring all else -- can you go to your parents? Take the kids and go a few weeks before baby is born. They can watch the kids, you can be in a hospital you know and DH can hop a flight when it is "time".[/QUOTE]

This is a good idea!
BeccaSueCongdon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2012, 07:53 AM   #5
4dramamama's Avatar
4dramamama
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,543
My Mood:
These are all good ideas. If it were me, I would hire a doula for myself and have DH be with the kids in the lobby. I would much rather my kids be safe than have DH in the room with me. It just seems much more realistic and easy in my mind. This is not to say that hiring a sibling doula is not a good idea. I am just super picky about who watches my kids.
__________________
Beth, Christian mama of 5 (expecting #6 Spring 2013).
Check out my blog Heart Stirred with Wisdom
4dramamama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2012, 07:56 AM   #6
4dramamama's Avatar
4dramamama
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,543
My Mood:
Also wanted to add that if he had to fly my husband wouldn't make it in time for my fast labors. So if I stayed with parents, the kids would be great but I'd be alone. This would actually be preferable, to me, in comparison to leaving my kids with a sitter I barely know.
__________________
Beth, Christian mama of 5 (expecting #6 Spring 2013).
Check out my blog Heart Stirred with Wisdom
4dramamama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2012, 08:23 AM   #7
canadianbakers's Avatar
canadianbakers
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: MB, Canada
Posts: 9,221
My Mood:
Re: Hospital delivery w/3 Littles and no extended Family?

I've been in a similar situation, away from all family with little ones, for all of my boys births.

Ideally, I would want to have a grandparent (or 2) come to stay with the kids while DH and I were together for labor/birth. We were able to work this out with the boys, thankfully.
His parents "aren't interested" - what do you mean by that? Are they not interested in the kids at all? Not interested in being there when baby is born?
Why don't your parents fly? Could just your mom come out nearing full term and stay with you for a while through the birth?

If those aren't options, I would start looking now for a sitter or doula who would stay with the kids. I would want to start now so that the kids had time to meet this person, stay with them at least once or twice, beforehand - so it wouldn't be a stranger come labor-time.
Alternatively, if you're not comfortable having someone you don't really know stay with the kids, or they're not comfortable with it, look into having a doula for yourself and DH stay with the kids.
Are there any play groups/story times (libraries usually have these)/Moms groups around that you could start trying out? Would be good for you to meet other moms, the kids could meet other kids, and you could have somewhere/someone to ask about sitters or whatnot.

I wouldn't plan to have the kids (whether with a grandparent or a sitter/doula) at the hospital. Unless they were going to be in the room for the whole time (which I know I couldn't handle while laboring), I wouldn't want them in the halls/waiting room/lobby for that time.
Let them stay home with whomever is watching them, and come to see baby and you after the birth.
__________________
~Elena~
Momma to R (12), Z (10), I (8), L (4), P (2) & J (Apr 14, 2015)
remembering Elliana Lucy (2.7.12)
canadianbakers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2012, 06:45 PM   #8
EmilytheStrange's Avatar
EmilytheStrange
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Mountain Home, ID
Posts: 7,418
My Mood:
Re: Hospital delivery w/3 Littles and no extended Family?

we're in a similar situation. a few less kids, but the same nonetheless. Family is very far away, we've only used a sitter 2x for mandetory Air Force events and I don't want family coming and sitting here watching me to go into labor.

so, we're going to either use a sitter or try to arrange for family or something to get here as soon as they can.

I would recommend you get a babysitter. Try one out now if you can. You don't want to be stressing over your children while you're in labor.

Originally I thought I could have my doula with me and DH with our child, but it's turning into more of a 'we need a sitter' type of situation.

those are just my thoughts. I already told my doula that my biggest stress during labor is going to be worrying about how my toddler is doing. But you can't do that to yourself - I would find a way to keep them out of the hospital if you can.
__________________
SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10) and Luke Russett (04/13) and wife and best friend to my airman.
EmilytheStrange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2012, 08:58 PM   #9
rverrone11's Avatar
rverrone11
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 3,979
Re: Hospital delivery w/3 Littles and no extended Family?

We are in the same position. We are in NV but going to a hospital in CA. My parents are in NJ and DH's parents are in Arkansas. Closest family is 7 hours away, and that's DH's brother. We have no babysitters or close friends, though we have a friend we've been hanging out with lately that lives close by but she has a 2 year old and 6 month old...not sure I want to do that to her. Neither of our girls have ever been away from the both of us for more than an hour, and have never slept away from us. If I went into labor during the day, I wouldn't mind having her watch them, but at night the girls would need to be with us.

What we are doing is hiring a doula. We visited with her last week, and she gave birth at the same hospital we are going to. She had her two kids (I think 6 and 8 at the time) in the room with her when she gave birth. Her daughter even filmed it. She said to just tell my OB that we are bringing our girls. I plan on laboring at home for as long as possible (at our house that is 15 minutes away from the hospital...not our NV home), and the doula will be with us. Then hopefully the girls wont' have to be at the hospital with us for too long. However, if I go into labor at night, then I'm not sure what we are going to do...just haul them along with us?

I thought I was going to be worried about how my DD was doing when she was at my last birth (it was at my midwife's house). But she did fine, and the last thing on my mind was how she was doing. DH was with her, and I really don't like anyone around me when I'm laboring (including DH), so it worked out for everyone.
__________________
~Rina~
wife to John (8/5/00) mom to D (7), A (4.5), and N (2)

Last edited by rverrone11; 11-11-2012 at 09:05 PM.
rverrone11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2012, 11:13 PM   #10
EmilytheStrange's Avatar
EmilytheStrange
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Mountain Home, ID
Posts: 7,418
My Mood:
That's the thing. Statistically, most women go into labor at night. I can't imagine waking the 2yo to haul her off to the hospital.

That being said, if you're within 15 minutes of your hospital, by the time you're ready for that, it might be morning.

We have an hour drive and were recommended to labor in a hotel room instead of waiting until contractions were hard to drive.

Little details like that can make a difference.
__________________
SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10) and Luke Russett (04/13) and wife and best friend to my airman.
EmilytheStrange is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.