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Old 11-15-2012, 08:35 PM   #1
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How to approach teacher: extremely bright child who is also extremely shy

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Old 11-15-2012, 08:41 PM   #2
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Re: How to approach teacher: extremely bright child who is also extremely shy

When you have the first meeting with her teacher, let them know you have some concerns. Tell them she is able to do most of what is asked of her, but she is embarrassed to do it in front of others. Telling her teacher that she's extremely bright, etc. might give the teacher the wrong impression, so I would just say that she doesn't like to read aloud, have alot of attention focused on her, etc. Those are things they work on and are sometimes graded on in school though, so be aware of that. Social behavior is something that is worked on in school as well and most teachers I know will have open conversations with parents when they feel there is a problem. HTH!
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Old 11-15-2012, 09:10 PM   #3
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Re: How to approach teacher: extremely bright child who is also extremely shy

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Old 11-15-2012, 09:23 PM   #4
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Within the first few weeks of school there are parent teacher conferences, that is a good time to bring up bigger concerns, I think. They expect you to have concerns/questions then. I think all parents with kids starting kindergarten have things they feel they need to explain well about their kids but the teachers learn quickly about the kids on their own.

Also, starting kindergarten almost a whole year away. She could be completely different then!
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Old 11-15-2012, 10:07 PM   #5
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In our kindergarten, they test kids within the 1st few weeks of school for levels. Any teacher should be able to see how bright she is, since it's individual testing.

I would just approach it from the shyness angle. You worry she is so scared of putting herself out there that she doesn't show her true abilities. Avoid the term gifted. Plus, once you meet the teacher you should get a feel for how they'll be.

So many parents come into kindergarten thinking their kid is amazingly smart (you're child does sound very advanced for her age, so not trying to put you down at all), that I think any teacher is likely to be secretly a little dismissive til they see what she can do. But with a good teacher who's willing to work with you I think it will be ok
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Old 11-15-2012, 10:16 PM   #6
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Old 11-16-2012, 10:24 AM   #7
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Re: How to approach teacher: extremely bright child who is also extremely shy

I was a kid like that. My teachers knew that I was an advanced reader, etc., but I didn't want to seem different from my peers. In third grade, for example, I would read the kind of books in my free reading time that the other kids were reading, like Bunnicula. At home, I would read books like The Hobbit. I recall that my teacher wrote in my report card, "I know M reads books at home that are above grade level." I still liked doing the things the other kids did, like the little phonics workbooks in first grade, etc. and never felt bored at school. Eventually I ended up in all the "accelerated" classes in middle school, the honors/AP classes in high school, and was the valedictorian of my high school graduating class. So I don't think your daughter liking to appear more typical in front of her peers means that she is dumbing herself down or will end up not achieving her potential. Actually, it will probably make it easier for her to fit in socially if the kids don't perceive her as some sort of show-off. Just let the teacher know that she can read, give some examples of the books she is reading, and mention that she is shy and doesn't like to appear more advanced than the other children. I think she will initially find that balance at school, and her abilities will shine!
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Old 11-16-2012, 12:19 PM   #8
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Well, it sounds like despite what your daughter is doing to fit in in her current class, teacher has observed her abilities. I'm sure your daughter's abilities will shine through to her future teachers and they will adjust appropriately. I know you feel like intervention is necessary, but it probably isn't. Give your daughter's capabilities and weaknesses an opportunity to show themselves first.
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Old 11-16-2012, 12:27 PM   #9
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Re: How to approach teacher: extremely bright child who is also extremely shy

I think we'll be in a VERY similar situation next year when our Pre-K-er heads to kindy. I actually didn't say anything to her Pre-K teacher. I let her figure it out herself. And at first parent-teacher conference, low and behold, she'd figured it out herself and has been able to challenge her accordingly.

As a silly aside, at the "open house" for Pre-K, I somewhat put my foot in my mouth that DD would be a teacher's dream student. I probably shouldn't have said that, but I wasn't wrong. lol
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Old 11-16-2012, 02:24 PM   #10
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Re: How to approach teacher: extremely bright child who is also extremely shy

In some ways, a larger school might help. If there are other bright, advanced students in her class, she may be more willing to show her abilities, since it won't be just here.
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