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Old 11-16-2012, 02:40 PM   #31
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Ummm, she is a STAY AT HOME MOTHER...I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I think Sam would work outside of the home if not for having children. Sure, keeping the home clean and presentable is important to me but so is working out, and being very involved with my children. I'd much rather take them to the library or park than try to keep them from running across my still wet floors that I just mopped.
Imo part of being a stay at HOME mother is maintaining the home. I'm not saying you have to clean every waking minute & my dh helps out a lot but keeping a clean house is important as is doing laundry, which she hasn't posted in her schedule. Kids do not need to be occupied 100% of the time it is actually beneficial to them to learn to occupy themselves. I don't take my kids to the park ever. That's what my toy filled yard is for. Friends come here to play.

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Old 11-16-2012, 03:11 PM   #32
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I'd be pissed too! I'm jealous you have time to workout 2x a day-how do you do it?
Punch him mama you might feel better heheh
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Old 11-16-2012, 03:18 PM   #33
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Re: I'm so pissed

I'm actually really sad for kids who never get to go to the park.

discovering new places and new experiences is really important. What is my daughter's favorite part of the park we go to? The big empty grass part. She spends 5-10minutes on the toys and then wants to run and hide behind trees and be chased and be caught.

you know, perhaps the OP is overscheduled. Maybe she needs to learn how to pair things down a bit.. but the one thing I'd never take from a child is going to a park. In fact, all this thread has convinced me of is that I really need to get over my 'it's cold' and go more often these days
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Old 11-16-2012, 03:27 PM   #34
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Re: I'm so pissed

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Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange View Post
I'm actually really sad for kids who never get to go to the park.

discovering new places and new experiences is really important. What is my daughter's favorite part of the park we go to? The big empty grass part. She spends 5-10minutes on the toys and then wants to run and hide behind trees and be chased and be caught.

you know, perhaps the OP is overscheduled. Maybe she needs to learn how to pair things down a bit.. but the one thing I'd never take from a child is going to a park. In fact, all this thread has convinced me of is that I really need to get over my 'it's cold' and go more often these days
I had to giggle to myself when I read your post. Not in a snarky way.

I promise that mamas who don't take their kids to the park TWICE A DAY aren't depriving their kids of fun, healthy experiences.

Also, please remember, that when you have multiple kids, all very young in age and close together, fun times at the park are suddenly not so rosy anymore b/c hiding behind trees turns into "OH MY GOD WHERE DID MY FLIPPIN KID GO?!"



Life is MUCH different with one kid. Even 2. I have 3 under 6 and we go to the park probably 3-4 times a month. we went to the children's musem yesterday. I'm exhausted when we get home and my house looks like a tornado zone. So I limit my outings to something I can manage while keeping my house somewhat decent.

I PERSONALLY feel this is part of my obligation to my DH. He works hard to support our ENTIRE family on his income. He works when he's tired, when he's sick, and when he doesn't want to. He never buys stuff for himself b/c he wants to make sure WE are cared for. The very very very LEAST I can do is keep the house up well enough for him to feel comfortable in it. For me, that usually means I don't have a lot of time to do the things *I* want to do - exercise, go for random walks around the neighborhood, play outside, paint, etc. - and that is ok with me. I feel like my DH is making a lot of sacrifices, so I am more than willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good of our family, as well. OP that is not directed at you, but that is my take on the whole situation you are describing.
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Old 11-16-2012, 03:29 PM   #35
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Re: I'm so pissed

I understand not taking them every day or twice a day...

but NEVER? not even on weekends?

THAT was my point.
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Old 11-16-2012, 03:35 PM   #36
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Re: I'm so pissed

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I understand not taking them every day or twice a day...

but NEVER? not even on weekends?

THAT was my point.
ooops. I must've missed where someone said that. I didn't read every response, so that's what I get!

Yea, kids need to go out and about, it's important. Aside from our excursions, we regularly go other places as a family, and have friends we get together with often on wknds and such.

Anyway, sorry to derail.
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Old 11-16-2012, 03:37 PM   #37
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From reading through your schedule and your clarifications to people's questions: I don't see how there's any way you COULD adjust your schedule to "clean more." Taking your youngest out to the park or kids' museum or library for time with just you is a good/necessary thing. As is giving the older kids a chance to blow off steam outside after school. The alternative to that would be parking them in front of a tv while you spend more time cleaning. ::shrug::

Perhaps to help your DH feel better, you could ask him to name three things that he feels would help him feel better about the state of the house. Tell him he gets only three things and its a running weekly list he can swap out. And that on Saturday morning he can take the kids to the park while you tackle one or two (or the whole list).

It sounds like you're already doing the best you can staying on top of daily necessities for cleaning, especially not having a dishwasher. Handwashing dishes is a pita. My IL's got me one for Mother's Day when DS was nearly 1 bc I was falling apart over how much time I spent doing housework instead of interacting with him. The dishwasher has made a difference for sure.

If you feel brave enough to post "as is" photos of your place maybe we can give you suggestions on things we notice that might be bugging him but not obvious to you? Otherwise if this is more of a "rant" thread, I totally agree. :-)

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Old 11-16-2012, 03:41 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockinmama24

Imo part of being a stay at HOME mother is maintaining the home. I'm not saying you have to clean every waking minute & my dh helps out a lot but keeping a clean house is important as is doing laundry, which she hasn't posted in her schedule. Kids do not need to be occupied 100% of the time it is actually beneficial to them to learn to occupy themselves. I don't take my kids to the park ever. That's what my toy filled yard is for. Friends come here to play.

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Not everyone had a toy filled yard, btw. And not everyone has a neighborhood that's safe for letting kids run unattended in the yard/street.

If my kids want to play outside (and they do) I go with them bc they're 4 and 18 months. We do have a large property and play set. But we also live next to a light rail transit, so everyone and their crack head brother walks down our street and gawks at us all.day.long. No way in letting them play alone outside.
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Old 11-16-2012, 03:59 PM   #39
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Re: I'm so pissed

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Originally Posted by Rockinmama24 View Post
Imo part of being a stay at HOME mother is maintaining the home. I'm not saying you have to clean every waking minute & my dh helps out a lot but keeping a clean house is important as is doing laundry, which she hasn't posted in her schedule. Kids do not need to be occupied 100% of the time it is actually beneficial to them to learn to occupy themselves. I don't take my kids to the park ever. That's what my toy filled yard is for. Friends come here to play.

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My kids don't get to play outside alone ever. The yard is not fenced and we live in a busy new development with lots of contractors in and out. We NEED to go to the park at least a few times a week otherwise I will lose my flippin mind. On those days, my house work suffers.
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Old 11-16-2012, 04:36 PM   #40
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Re: I'm so pissed

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Originally Posted by Rockinmama24 View Post
Maybe you can schedule in cleaning? That schedule is way too over scheduled imo. If you are a housewife, housekeeping should be a priority.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockinmama24 View Post
Imo part of being a stay at HOME mother is maintaining the home. I'm not saying you have to clean every waking minute & my dh helps out a lot but keeping a clean house is important as is doing laundry, which she hasn't posted in her schedule. Kids do not need to be occupied 100% of the time it is actually beneficial to them to learn to occupy themselves. I don't take my kids to the park ever. That's what my toy filled yard is for. Friends come here to play.

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I agree. If op's dh is making a point that she is too busy to clean, he has a valid point and IMO a sahm should do the bulk of housekeeping. I sah, I workout almost every day and I do all the cooking and cleaning. Dh does help with heavy chores and I never have to pick up after him. If it is important for op's dh to have a tidier house, then she can make an effort to do so. I agree that kids do not need to be entertained all the time. Ds is perfectly capable of occupying himself. I do interact with him but not all the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeccaSueCongdon View Post
From reading through your schedule and your clarifications to people's questions: I don't see how there's any way you COULD adjust your schedule to "clean more." Taking your youngest out to the park or kids' museum or library for time with just you is a good/necessary thing. As is giving the older kids a chance to blow off steam outside after school. The alternative to that would be parking them in front of a tv while you spend more time cleaning. ::shrug::

Perhaps to help your DH feel better, you could ask him to name three things that he feels would help him feel better about the state of the house. Tell him he gets only three things and its a running weekly list he can swap out. And that on Saturday morning he can take the kids to the park while you tackle one or two (or the whole list).

It sounds like you're already doing the best you can staying on top of daily necessities for cleaning, especially not having a dishwasher. Handwashing dishes is a pita. My IL's got me one for Mother's Day when DS was nearly 1 bc I was falling apart over how much time I spent doing housework instead of interacting with him. The dishwasher has made a difference for sure.

If you feel brave enough to post "as is" photos of your place maybe we can give you suggestions on things we notice that might be bugging him but not obvious to you? Otherwise if this is more of a "rant" thread, I totally agree. :-)

((Hugs))
That is NOT the only alternative. I resent the assumption that in order to have a clean house, kids must be parked in front of a tv all day. My ds does not have free reign of the tv. He can occupy himself with his toys, playing outside with a friend or riding his bike up and down the street.
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