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Old 11-16-2012, 05:02 AM   #1
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"Normal" behavior??

I'm questioning some things my 3- 1/2 yr old does... He likes to repeat whatever word strikes his fancy, right now it's "trash can" and laugh like a fool after he says it every.single.time.
Or, he'll just laugh half the day away & I have no clue what about (other than a big chance he's just trying to annoy me) & Ito ask him what he's laughing about he'll yell something random: "candy! Lollipop!" I swear sometimes he laughs so much I wonder how he can not be a bit loony! Hah! :/
He will look me in the eye 5 seconds max, & if he's in trouble he refuses. Unless I make him, then it's 1 second. He's a very smart boy. I don't know what to think... If he just must push my buttons all freaking day (he'll be ok with dad- then the second he's out the door he'll start yelling/jumping the couch/ climbing all over me) he has a complete lack of respect for me & I have NO clue how to gain it!

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Old 11-16-2012, 09:32 AM   #2
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Re: "Normal" behavior??

Sounds about right for that age My youngest is like this, he is just a very active and energetic kid, loves to be silly and make people laugh with his silliness (or drive them nuts depending on their current mood)

Kids at this age love to test limits and boundaries, see what they can get away with. Not maintaining eye contact is a way of ignoring you and continuing to do what he wants, so you are right to make him look at you. If I have something important to say about his conduct, I always sit down on my son's level and make him look me in the eyes while I talk to him. It's the best way to make sure they are actually paying attention to what you are saying. Just take a deep breath, I honestly think your son is fine and you are doing the right things.

ETA: as for respect, you have to be very consistent in the way you address undesirable behavior from him. Pick a consequence for a certain behavior and implement it every.single.time without fail. Also, it is important to pick which battles are actually worth fighting with him, and don't try to correct it all all at once. Maybe work on the thing that bothers you the most first and once that is under control, continue from there.
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Last edited by marilynloewen; 11-16-2012 at 09:36 AM.
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Old 11-16-2012, 04:13 PM   #3
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Re: "Normal" behavior??

My hubby is a child Psychologist and I have a MAE in Special Education so we talk way too much about this type of thing

Here is what we would tell you...
-any eye contact rules out autism (even mild forms)
-he is verbal and understands you, he responds to questions which rules out several personality disorders.
-his actions are over happiness which is fine unless he has very severe lows and "sad" days. If he does have these lows and it continues I would look into bi-polar but it is VERY rare in this young. (and I mean VERY rare!!)

Bottom line? Sounds like he is totally normal. If he gets to school age and this is still going on you can have him see the school psychologist (that is what my hubby does for a living).
Honesty, I wouldn't worry about it until then. Just try not to let it annoy you so much, maybe make a game out of it. We have a toddler who loves to scream (for no reason at all) so we make a game out of it and tell her to do it as loud as she can or for as long as she can. She gets tired and gives up
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Old 11-16-2012, 05:20 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twinpossible
My hubby is a child Psychologist and I have a MAE in Special Education so we talk way too much about this type of thing

Here is what we would tell you...
-any eye contact rules out autism (even mild forms)
-he is verbal and understands you, he responds to questions which rules out several personality disorders.
-his actions are over happiness which is fine unless he has very severe lows and "sad" days. If he does have these lows and it continues I would look into bi-polar but it is VERY rare in this young. (and I mean VERY rare!!)

Bottom line? Sounds like he is totally normal. If he gets to school age and this is still going on you can have him see the school psychologist (that is what my hubby does for a living).
Honesty, I wouldn't worry about it until then. Just try not to let it annoy you so much, maybe make a game out of it. We have a toddler who loves to scream (for no reason at all) so we make a game out of it and tell her to do it as loud as she can or for as long as she can. She gets tired and gives up
I disagree. Lots of kids make eye contact with autism. It may be fleeting but making eye contact with a parent does not rule out autism. Even the dsm agrees. I have zero doubt my daughter has an autism disorder and her doctors agree, but she makes eye contact (it isnt for long and she gazes a lot at mouths which can be hard to tell if they are looking at eyes but she can and does make eye contact). Having eye contact does not rule out autism disorders.

OP I sent you a PM.
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Old 11-16-2012, 06:22 PM   #5
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Re: "Normal" behavior??

Quote:
Originally Posted by ktmelody View Post
I disagree. Lots of kids make eye contact with autism. It may be fleeting but making eye contact with a parent does not rule out autism. Even the dsm agrees. I have zero doubt my daughter has an autism disorder and her doctors agree, but she makes eye contact (it isnt for long and she gazes a lot at mouths which can be hard to tell if they are looking at eyes but she can and does make eye contact). Having eye contact does not rule out autism disorders.

OP I sent you a PM.
Yes, 100% agree. It is completely false that:
Quote:
any eye contact rules out autism (even mild forms)
I am completely sure that my DD has autism (and the many specialists who have worked with her all agree) and she has always displayed some eye contact. Not as much as is appropriate and not at appropriate times (like if you called her name she wouldn't look at your eyes but if she was excited and wanted to share something with you she would look at your eyes very briefly).

OP, sorry to get off on a tangent. If you are concerned I'd listen to your gut and maybe take your son in for an evaluation. It isn't like evaluations are painful or horrible (they are just play and lots of questions for parents) and early intervention is such a blessing if your DS does have something going on.
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Old 11-16-2012, 06:29 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twinpossible
My hubby is a child Psychologist and I have a MAE in Special Education so we talk way too much about this type of thing

Here is what we would tell you...
-any eye contact rules out autism (even mild forms)
-he is verbal and understands you, he responds to questions which rules out several personality disorders.
-his actions are over happiness which is fine unless he has very severe lows and "sad" days. If he does have these lows and it continues I would look into bi-polar but it is VERY rare in this young. (and I mean VERY rare!!)

Bottom line? Sounds like he is totally normal. If he gets to school age and this is still going on you can have him see the school psychologist (that is what my hubby does for a living).
Honesty, I wouldn't worry about it until then. Just try not to let it annoy you so much, maybe make a game out of it. We have a toddler who loves to scream (for no reason at all) so we make a game out of it and tell her to do it as loud as she can or for as long as she can. She gets tired and gives up
Thanks! I keep thinking about ODD- though he isn't defiant all of the time. I really just don't have a clue how to deal with him/help him. & as the day progresses he spirals & the refusal to listen gets stronger and is is VERY difficult for me to control my own attitude when it reaches that point. By then I'm excited for bedtime! Hah! He is a sweetheart, don't get me wrong but oh my he pushes my buttons every chance! We have a psyc appt scheduled for feb.
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Old 11-17-2012, 06:36 AM   #7
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Re: "Normal" behavior??

Isnt Feb too far away? Yeah, you may not have been able to get in any earlier, but with the long winter mos cooped up inside.........I can see you being driven up against the wall, not knowing how to deal with him.

If I were you, I would push/pay for an earlier eval, just so that we could have something to go on with. A diagnosis would greatly put your mind at ease, you will know if he needs to be handled differently OR NOT.
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