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Old 11-13-2012, 02:26 PM   #1
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Family size and health issues

I know there are several mamas on this board who leave their family size up to God. I'm not at that place right now, and hubby probably never will be, but I do have a question for you all.

Do any of you have varicose veins? Would a health issue like that (it's very painful and terribly ugly) cause you to reconsider having more children?

I guess where I'm at right now is that I'm expecting our fourth baby (surprise baby, completely unexpected) and my legs are killing me. At the same time, I know I could never get my tubes tied and I'm not sure I could ever expect my hubby to get a vasectomy. I'm just too concerned about side effects.

I'm having a really hard time accepting this pregnancy, even though I know it's God's plan for me, and I accept that part. I'm emotional and tired and I really don't think I can handle life with 4 kids. I'm a bit of a mess. Today is also my 29th birthday, so I'm doing a bit of reflecting and trying to figure out my life.

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Old 11-13-2012, 10:00 PM   #2
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Re: Family size and health issues

I don't have any advice about that, I just wanted to offer you a hug and a happy birthday wish! I know pregnancy is hard enough when you've planned for it; I'm sure there are quite a few extra challenges when it was unexpected. I'm sure what you are feeling is totally normal. I hope your legs feel better soon! (or at least don't get worse!)
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Old 11-14-2012, 03:31 AM   #3
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Are they painful only when you are pg?
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Old 11-14-2012, 04:54 AM   #4
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Re: Family size and health issues

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Originally Posted by delicatefade View Post
I know there are several mamas on this board who leave their family size up to God. I'm not at that place right now, and hubby probably never will be, but I do have a question for you all.

Do any of you have varicose veins? Would a health issue like that (it's very painful and terribly ugly) cause you to reconsider having more children?

I guess where I'm at right now is that I'm expecting our fourth baby (surprise baby, completely unexpected) and my legs are killing me. At the same time, I know I could never get my tubes tied and I'm not sure I could ever expect my hubby to get a vasectomy. I'm just too concerned about side effects.

I'm having a really hard time accepting this pregnancy, even though I know it's God's plan for me, and I accept that part. I'm emotional and tired and I really don't think I can handle life with 4 kids. I'm a bit of a mess. Today is also my 29th birthday, so I'm doing a bit of reflecting and trying to figure out my life.
You are not alone. I always expected I would never prevent having children in my marriage, but births/compl. from c-sections changed that way of thinking for me. As I read more in depth and prayed more for answers from God, I realized (my personal conviction) that in following His lead, it actually involved limiting my family size. He opened the door of c/s to have healthy babies and He also gives us sound judgement, discernment, and power to make decisions. I realize some have a personal conviction to not limit their family size (that is their decision between them and God, just as mine is between God and I, but they are all still our own, free-will decisions)... I have not heard back from very many quiverfulls if they would limit their family size due to complications... maybe they don't know what they would do until that would happen (pray it never does though!). God has a good plan for each of us. Maybe those plans and our calling will be best carried out with 2,3,5, 10 kids... we each need to seek Him for that leading. I know that a hidden blessing of only having 4 kids is that I have time to volunteer in the capacity in which I am called. SO God uses us all and calls us to do different things (He may be calling you to stop or to keep going). We need to be sensitive to His voice and make sound decisions and go from there...

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind". 2 Tim. 1:7

21 "My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; 22 they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck." Prov. 3:21-22

"So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do". 2 Thessalonians 1:11

Anyway, I'm sorry about the varicose veins. They are painful. I got the with my 4th pregnancy and I remember that feeling at night and begging my husband to rub my legs because they hurt so bad. They didn't all go away after Baby Girl was born, but the painful ones did subside. I will pray the same for you.

Happy Belated Birthday. A week after Baby Girl (#4) was born I turned 27 and it was one of the worst birthdays... nothing like recovering from a multiple c-section to herald in a new birth year! I asked my husband if we could celebrate at a later time because it was not a good day, emotionally or physically. So take a raincheck on your day and do it up right when you can!

And 4 is fun! You will do marvelous. My 4th baby kind of blended in and yes, it can get wild when that one starts getting mobile, but it doesn't feel much more busy than with 3 kids. God will give you the grace you need (my Mom taught me that one).

"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

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Old 11-14-2012, 05:24 AM   #5
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Re: Family size and health issues

ETA: Just for the record, I am not saying one cannot volunteer having a big family. My parents were able to incorporate us into their ministry for older people at retirement homes and mom was able to use her experience raising so many kids and foster kids to help mentor at-risk moms once we were all in school. So it can happen with certain callings! Didn't want to get flamed for that. haha.
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Old 11-14-2012, 01:04 PM   #6
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Re: Family size and health issues

I have varicose veins that have gotten worse w/ most of each of my pregnancies. It has not had a bearing on having more babies though.
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Old 11-14-2012, 01:26 PM   #7
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Re: Family size and health issues

It's interesting to note that although Adam and Eve, and then Noah and his family, were told to fill the earth, and of course families were very important to the Isrealites because they were at one time God's chosen people and the Messiah was foretold to come through that nation...Jesus did not repeat the command to have children and fill the earth. Actually he told his disciples to preach and teach. Not that he discouraged having children...but there is nothing in the admonition to the first-century Christians that emphasized having children being the most important thing. So I don't agree with the idea that God plans everyone's family size. For one I think that it dishonors his name when tragedies happen or parents need to limit family size for health reasons or financial, but also it oversteps what is written in the Bible. Although the Bible speaks of some women who God intervened in and "opened their womb" for one reason or another, those were special occasions. For instance Hannah was barren but God intervened so that she gave birth to Samuel, a prophet. Or Sarah, Abraham's wife. Jehovah God told Abraham that the Messiah would come through his seed, but his wife was barren, so it was necessary for him to intervene so that his will could take place. Although the Bible makes it clear that God loves children and blesses them, it does NOT say that he personally wills every child to be born. If that was true, what about all of the babies that are aborted? Did he will their creation only to know that they would be terminated? It's hypocritical to say that he decides family size unless we also say that he decided that those babies would be conceived. And that is not a Bible teaching.
Personally I do not feel comfortable with hormonal BC, since it always has the possibility of being abortive, and taking the life of any age is not approved of by God. But we do use FAM and barrier methods, because we are not in a position to have a huge family, and based on past experience, that's what we'd have if we didn't use precautions. Even with the 2 kids I do volunteer work 3 mornings a week.
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Old 11-14-2012, 02:04 PM   #8
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Re: Family size and health issues

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Originally Posted by Mamatoabunch View Post
I have varicose veins that have gotten worse w/ most of each of my pregnancies. It has not had a bearing on having more babies though.
I'm guessing you must have some good ideas on how to deal with them. The worst ones are behind my knee and then in a very sensitive place... Ahem. Have you done any treatments to try and get rid of the bad veins?
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Old 11-15-2012, 11:23 AM   #9
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Re: Family size and health issues

So far we have 7 children. With my 3rd or 4th pregnancy (I can't remember which) I started struggling with a varicose vein on the back of my left leg as well as hemorrhoids (sort of embarrassing, I normally don't tell people that) As for the veins, my midwife at the time told me to put witch hazel on them. I would normally get a wash cloth, pour witch hazel on it, put it on the vein and wrap an ace bandage around it fairly tight. That would help some. She also told me to go to a health food store and get some capsules of "Leg Veins" by Natures Way. Its just butchers broom. I don't know if it helped or not, but if you can get it in a tea I think that would be better. Also, when I am sitting I try to always keep my leg up. I usually put a pillow on the coffee table and put my leg on that to be more comfortable. Be sure NOT to cross your legs while sitting. But the best thing is not to sit around too much. If you are tired, lie down instead. But staying on your feet and being more active was the best thing for me. Once my pregnancy is over the vein goes back in. My currant doctor said that it happens because of the extra weight of your baby is adding pressure to the arteries that go down your legs. Once that baby is born there is not more pressure.

I had this problem for pregnancies 4 and 5 pretty badly, but for pregnancies 6 and 7 they did not hurt at all. They popped out, and for each pregnancy they pop out a little more, but didn't hurt. Hemorrhoids haven't been an issue at all.I don't know if I just had more kids and naturally more active or what. Anyway, I do hope you get better and that you find some relief soon.
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Old 11-15-2012, 11:36 AM   #10
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Re: Family size and health issues

For the past 7 years I have always been open to more children and I was blessed with 5 children in that time. I always saw myself having lots, DH and I even talked about the future as if we would have 10+. I never thought I'd have a reason to step back and say maybe having more children isn't the right path for me After my 5th baby I started experiencing serious health issues. It is at the point that I know it would be for the best for me to not go through another pregnancy as I know my body will not be able to handle it. Not only do I need to make sure I am in good health for myself, but also so that I can be a good mother to the children I already have. That does not mean I cannot expand my family in other ways though (fostering/adoption). We also use FAM and barrier methods, but my husband is looking into getting a vasectomy.
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