Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-18-2012, 07:05 AM   #1
DalesWidda's Avatar
DalesWidda
Registered Users
Formerly: savmaralamommy
seller
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Delavan, WI
Posts: 5,885
My Mood:
question about church and kids

I have an odd question. We've been attending an episcopal church for about 4.5 years. Basically my kids don't remember calling a church home before that. We started going with my husband before we got married and while I was happy at first, lately I've not been really wanting to go. There have been a few issues, especially with the priest. Well, this year my middle dd started going to a private Lutheran school. There is a huge difference in tuition. It's $2900 for the first nonmember child and $800 for each subsequent nonmember child. For members it's $800 for one child and $1200 for any number of children. So I could send all three for $1200 total per year if I wanted as members. This year we get the member rate. All first year students get the member rate. I'm thinking of switching my membership. Like I said, I haven't been happy at my church and if we switch there are lots of benefits. Tuition reduction, a sense of belonging for my middle to be with all her school friends at church, etc.

Here's my dilema. My oldest doesn't want to switch at all. She wants to stay at our current church. She is 11.5. Do I let her stay at that church (we live walking distance) and take the others to the other church? Do I try to do both? Do I say "I'm sorry, but we are switching as a family?" Help! Ideas!

Advertisement

__________________
Tanya mama to three wonderful girls
DalesWidda is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2012, 07:19 AM   #2
abunchoflemons
Registered Users
sitesupporter
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: usa
Posts: 14,458
My Mood:
Re: question about church and kids

If u know people to be there 4 oldst let her stay at that church.
__________________
Join me making money doing the following: shopkick, Swagbucks, fronto unlockscreen , Perk, receipthog,1Q, Free Eats, panel app, qmee, bzzagent, amazon-my habit, slidejoy unlock screen
abunchoflemons is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2012, 07:35 AM   #3
kaia.aline's Avatar
kaia.aline
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,612
When I was her age I switched to go to my pepaws church and my family went to another church, I was so thankful that I was able to make my own choice. I would have been so unhappy if I was forced to stay at a church I did not want to be at.
__________________
after waiting so long my baby girl Terra Lynn was born august 2 2012!

Ask me how to earn FREE jewelry and other amazing deals from Lia Sophia!
kaia.aline is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2012, 07:35 AM   #4
kaia.aline's Avatar
kaia.aline
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,612
When I was her age I switched to go to my pepaws church and my family went to another church, I was so thankful that I was able to make my own choice. I would have been so unhappy if I was forced to stay at a church I did not want to be at.
__________________
after waiting so long my baby girl Terra Lynn was born august 2 2012!

Ask me how to earn FREE jewelry and other amazing deals from Lia Sophia!
kaia.aline is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2012, 07:49 AM   #5
knodceo
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,189
Wow that's tough! I'd let her stay if that's what you are comfortable with. I think, had my parents been open to exploring other churches and religions (asking questions at that age) I might still be religious. Is there another family that you'd be comfortable with her being with? And is she willing to check out the other church?

The tuition is enough of a reason to change churches, IMO.

And dont they go through confirmation at 10-12? And then they are supposed to make religion decisions for them selves?

Good luck.. I'd love an update when a decision is made.
knodceo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2012, 08:05 AM   #6
iheartua07's Avatar
iheartua07
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 213
My Mood:
I say let her make her own choice. I did at that age and chose to go to a friends church. I didn't like it and ended up back where my family went. I think it's important to let older children make their own choice about religion so that they feel comfortable and aren't resentful later on for being forced to go to a church they didn't like.
iheartua07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2012, 08:23 AM   #7
DalesWidda's Avatar
DalesWidda
Registered Users
Formerly: savmaralamommy
seller
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Delavan, WI
Posts: 5,885
My Mood:
Re: question about church and kids

ok, I feel better. I've been leaning towards letting her stay but I was just wondering what other parents thought or would do. My middle daughter doesn't really have a choice. Basically I told her if she wants to continue going to the lutheran school we need to switch. If she wants to stay at our church that is fine but then we need to explore other school options, most likely homeschooled with her sisters. She seems fine with switching. I don't want to force my oldest to switch. In our church, we don't confirm until 16 which I don't really agree with, but whatever. I still think she's old enough to start deciding that kind of stuff..
__________________
Tanya mama to three wonderful girls
DalesWidda is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2012, 09:14 AM   #8
erin_c_odonnell's Avatar
erin_c_odonnell
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 3,347
My Mood:
Re: question about church and kids

Personally we would move as a family. Tell dd to give it a try (new church). Odds are she's just worried about losing friends but more than willing to bet she makes new friends quickly. I'd tell her try for x amount of time- ie 2 months and if she still hates it maybe see about letting her go back.
__________________
Erin- Helpmeet to David, Deaf. Reformed Christian. Homeschooling. SAHM to 5 on earth, 3 in eternity and currently in the family way! Edd July 2014! Grow baby grow!
erin_c_odonnell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2012, 10:42 AM   #9
threelittlehoneys's Avatar
threelittlehoneys
formerly R***and**********
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 7,009
Re: question about church and kids

I would let her stay
threelittlehoneys is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.