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Old 09-27-2012, 08:46 PM   #1
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When did you stay home?

So the background is, we always planned on me being a SAHM but finances would not allow it (I make good money as a Professor) and then when we were getting on our feet my hubby lost his job to lay offs. Since the girls have been born we work opposite schedules so the girls always have a parent around. Now it looks like his new internship will lead to a full time position next year in Feb. I am due in March with #3, I would have to return to work in August.

When did you decided to stay home? I know I am not going to want to leave after this one is born and we are starting to homeschool our girls this summer. How did you make it work on one income? The last part of this is we live on campus where I teach so if I stop working we have to move and this move would have to happen over the summer.

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Old 09-28-2012, 05:45 AM   #2
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Re: When did you stay home?

I stayed home when our second was a year old. I had been cut to part time for 2 years at that point, and our cheap childcare would no longer be available. I knew that if I wanted to be able to afford childcare, that I needed a full time job, when it was not available, staying home actually saved us money than if I had to pay for daycare for them.

From the time we were married, we always budgeted on just my husband's income, and mine was for extra expenses. So when I stayed home, we just had to be a little more careful about the extra things we did, and make sure we were saving enough for emergencies. We were very lucky in that regard!

I'm still keeping up my license (prek-3 teacher) so that I can go back when our youngest is in preschool
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Old 09-28-2012, 08:45 AM   #3
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Re: When did you stay home?

My husband and I did the whole opposite shift thing for a while when we had 2--then we moved and though I had lined up a position with the same company states away I chose not to go back when I found out I was pregnant again before we were settled. Which was a good thing as we ended up having twins!
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Old 09-28-2012, 08:52 AM   #4
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I have worked on and off depending on where we are at. I became a sahm for the first time since my youngest was 6 months old. I am loving it, of course I wish we still had the income from when I was working. DH really enjoys me staying home and the amount of stress lifted from the family. We are kinda trying for baby number 4. But it has also been hard to leave my job as a teacher since I love teaching so much as well.
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Old 09-28-2012, 10:22 AM   #5
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Re: When did you stay home?

From the moment we got married. We knew we wanted children right away and Dh's job was ALOT of travel. We decided that I would not work so at times I could travel with him or even just see him when he was home.

Since then dh has left that career bc he did not want to miss milestones with the children. It was at the time a big pay cut but we made it work. We really did not do without but we did not and never did live outside of our means.

We always wanted someone who would be fulltime at home with the children and we have been able to do that. At times I wish I could have more this or that or another one of this or that but honestly I wouldn't trade me being sahm for anything.
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Old 09-28-2012, 10:40 AM   #6
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Re: When did you stay home?

Thanks ladies. I guess right now we are weighing cost of childcare over my paycheck. That is why we work opposite schedules now, other then the benefit of having a parent at home. Our nanny did not charge a lot per hour but it does add up, with three under 2 years old I cannot imagine which nanny would be insane enough to take that job and then how much she would charge?! There is no way we could afford two nannies...So I guess something has to change fast!
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Old 09-28-2012, 08:51 PM   #7
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When I was pregnant with our third I stopped working. I was part time and had a nanny coming in but at $10/hr for 2 kids, there was just no way I was going to pay more than that for the 3rd - I refused to be bringing home less after taxes than my nanny is making to spend the day with my babies!

We changed our life a little bit, but we really adjusted to the loss of income easily. I just shop less now. Lol!
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Old 09-29-2012, 02:34 PM   #8
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Re: When did you stay home?

I stayed home from the time I was 5 months pregnant w/ our oldest two, twins. I worked a bit between #3 and #4, but otherwise always home. We just make it work. At one time we had one vehicle, we did w/o things, we budget grocery well. Dh was laid off last November and I am still at home. It is not easy at times, but working out of home is not easy either w/ two parents at work.
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Old 09-29-2012, 07:25 PM   #9
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Re: When did you stay home?

My advice to you will be different depending on the answer to this question: are you tenure track at a university? If you are, I would say make it work, my friends in academia tell me that is such a gold standard and harder and harder to get these days. If you are an instructor at a college, I would say, maybe. I am an instructor at a college (an attorney by degree and training) and I feel like if I gave it up, I could pick it back up at any time, but I know that isn't the case with tenure track professors, so I would definitely think really hard before giving that up. I'm pregnant with number three too, and I just don't know what I am going to do, I am thinking about putting my name on conflict counsel lists and then if I can't do it, it isn't a big deal (if I don't commit to the case, obviously). It is a tough decision, but maybe your husband could stay home? Tenure track professors make a mint where I am (if only instructors did too!).
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Old 09-29-2012, 10:22 PM   #10
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Re: When did you stay home?

No, not tenure track, I wish! I work for a CSU and we are a failing system. They have a history of keeping professors off of tenure and at full or half time for their entire careers. We only have one person on tenure track for the entire World Languages and Cultures dep. That is one of my big issues with this university. I have a glass ceiling, I can never move up. Which was fine with me in the beginning because I was starting a family and wanted something with flexible hours. Honestly, the job can easily be thrown away for a better one. My issue is having to move, where we live is very expensive so if we cannot live in professor housing then we have to have a BIG move of a few hundred miles or out of state. I would not mind moving but not right after I have a baby. I guess a lot of this depends on what kind of job my husband can find once his internship is up.
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