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Old 11-21-2012, 12:35 PM   #1
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My almost 6 y/o is writing on EVERYTHING! I am going bonkers

Last week, she scribbled ALL over her new (used) desk. I was upset. I scolded her. Probably had her try to clean it. But it's an untreated wood desk. It's used, and it already has some writing on it from the previous owners, so I didn't really make a huge production over it. Just sternly told her it's not okay to do that. Get it off. Of course, NONE of it came off. so we have a scribble scrabble desk.

Then, about 4 days ago, she drew with pen on my custom built in (and freshly painted to cover up the LAST kid art!) cabinets in the dining room. I was so upset when I found it that all I could get out was "Why would you do this?!" And then I had to leave the room and cry somewhere else. And I got distracted and life went on. I remember bringing it up later that day when I was calmer and telling her it was NOT OKAY to be drawing on stuff.

This morning I wake up and she's drawn in heavy black (eraser-board) marker on a set of shelves in her room. They're untreated wood, so it's already soaked in. There were already marks on it. But STILL - "Why are you drawing on things?!" She says, "I don't know. "

I scold her, I take away her sticker chart (a chart we make together and she gets a sticker for good behavior and then when it's full she gets something special she wants - mind you, she's only had it back for like 3 days b/c she lost it a while ago for a major tantrum....), and she sat in her room rather than playing while I got Bfast ready.

.....Then, JUST now, I go to tuck her in for her nap, and as I lean over and say "Do you want me to tuck you in?" she says "NO!" and grabs her covers.

I pull the covers back, and she has drawn in black eraser board marker on two stuffed animals - like ALL over them - and has written her name and her brother's name on 3 doll's heads. She put them under her covers so I wouldn't see them.

I am 99% sure the eraser board marker will come out of the stuffed animals with a wash or 2. But I just worked on the dolls and it's not coming off. Even with rubbing alcohol - which has always worked on all ink stains for me.

I am SO over this phase. She has PLENTY of things she can freely write/draw/doodle on. WHY is she doing this???!

I should add --- All of these things are happening in the mornings when she is up before us, or during nap time before she goes to sleep.

We just got her some gifts, and there is NO WAY I am giving her anything new/nice until she can appreciate what she has. I am thinking I will have her pick 3 toys and the rest are going to Goodwill this evening. I am SO so so so SO done with this.

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Last edited by Kiliki; 11-21-2012 at 12:36 PM.
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Old 11-21-2012, 12:39 PM   #2
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Try soaking in oxy or spray with shout.


Magic eraser works wonders for dry eraser markers.
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Old 11-21-2012, 12:42 PM   #3
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Re: My almost 6 y/o is writing on EVERYTHING! I am going bonkers

Take away all markers, pens, crayons, give her only pencils (every writing medium in the house will have to be put up high where she can't get it). Tell her since she doesn't use them properly and colours on things, then she isn't old enough to play with them. After maybe a month give her some washable markers and tell her that if she uses them properly she can keep them, if not, you'll take them away again.
Alternatively, take away anything she has written on that is hers. Tell her it is ruined and now you have to throw it out (if you can wash it off, do so and just put it away for a while). Also, I would have made her wash all the cabinet for writing on them even if she can't get the marks off, but it might be too late to do that punishment now.
I do agree with not giving her her new toys too. Tell her she can't be trusted with them. Show them to her and put them up high and then if she doesn't colour on anything for a certain period of time she gets one toy. After a second time period she gets another toy. Etc
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Old 11-21-2012, 12:44 PM   #4
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Re: My almost 6 y/o is writing on EVERYTHING! I am going bonkers

I would be going bonkers too! I would personally take away every writing implement in the house. Pens, pencils, markers, crayons, it would all be collected and put in a place that she couldn't get to it.

I would probably also take away some/all of her toys (not sure how practical that is for you) and explain that because she couldn't show respect for things, she can't have things. I wouldn't give the toys away (probably box them up in the garage for awhile and let her earn them back), and I would absolutely not let her pick anything to keep. Though, I am kind of a hard-a when it comes to stuff like that. She's old enough to not be doing this, and old enough to learn a lesson from it.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:01 PM   #5
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Re: My almost 6 y/o is writing on EVERYTHING! I am going bonkers

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Originally Posted by chandni3 View Post
Take away all markers, pens, crayons, give her only pencils (every writing medium in the house will have to be put up high where she can't get it). Tell her since she doesn't use them properly and colours on things, then she isn't old enough to play with them.
I wish this was an option. She's a monkey and I don't have any place (quite literally) that I can put something that she can't get to it. And, TBH, I just feel like she's simply too old for me to have to do that with. My 4 y/o DS doesn't do this b/c he knows better. I should be able to trust her not to draw on everything when I'm not looking. It's ridiculous. UGH!

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Alternatively, take away anything she has written on that is hers. Tell her it is ruined and now you have to throw it out (if you can wash it off, do so and just put it away for a while).
At the VERY LEAST, she will lose what she has drawn on. There aren't many stuffed animals left, as we just recently purged, and I've kinda been looking for a reason to get rid of more. I hate stuffed animals. She never PLAYS with them. So they irritate me. And now she's scribbling on them. I'd rather just dump them all. But I am still thinking on it. I won't do anything that is just driven by pure emotion and is unfair.

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Also, I would have made her wash all the cabinet for writing on them even if she can't get the marks off, but it might be too late to do that punishment now.
That occurred to me while I was washing the pen off the cabinet today, before I discovered the stuffed animals and dolls. I may STILL do it b/c obviously she is not learning her lesson, and she is old enough to remember drawing on the built ins, so it isn't like she would have no idea why she's being punished. Plus it could use a good dusting.


Quote:
I do agree with not giving her her new toys too. Tell her she can't be trusted with them. Show them to her and put them up high and then if she doesn't colour on anything for a certain period of time she gets one toy. After a second time period she gets another toy. Etc
Might do that. I am thinking on it and will disucss it with DH. We give the kids gifts each yr on our Wedding Anniversary. We don't celebrate Xmas. Our Anniversary is Dec 31st. We only got her 3 gifts. So possibly, if she has proven herself capable by then, she will get them. But I need to see a serious turn around in her behavior and responsibility level.

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I would probably also take away some/all of her toys (not sure how practical that is for you) and explain that because she couldn't show respect for things, she can't have things. I wouldn't give the toys away (probably box them up in the garage for awhile and let her earn them back), and I would absolutely not let her pick anything to keep. Though, I am kind of a hard-a when it comes to stuff like that. She's old enough to not be doing this, and old enough to learn a lesson from it.
I am a total hard-butt too. And this is what I am leaning towards doing.

I guess I should add that this is in COMBINATION with her refusal to pick up toys in her room. It's not like I expect her room to look spotless. But it's NOT difficult to put away your stuff when you are done with it. I remind her over and over, we wind up going through a big ordeal just to get her to pick up after herself.

She's even refused after multiple warnings and then had toys bagged up and taken away. It doesn't phase her.

So this is kind of connected to me. She just seems to have a lack of respect for the things she has, and now for other people's things too. (one of the stuffed animals and one of the dolls were MINE from when I was little, not hers. And yes, she knows the difference.) So I think I see this as a bigger issue and as a result, I am thinking just taking everything away is the best hing to do.

She can play with ONE or TWO toys and learn to care for them, and then maybe get more.

Last edited by Kiliki; 11-21-2012 at 01:04 PM.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:09 PM   #6
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I totally understand where you are coming from. My 4 year old ds has been going through that phase for about 6 months. The first thing he did was draw all over my upstairs living room carpet in dry erase marker, not even a professional carpet cleaner could get it out.

The first thing I did was get rid of or put up all non washable writing utensils, pens, markers, crayons, they all went away. Then all writing utensils except crayons and pencils had to be asked for and were only giver on a need to use basis. He is not allowed to take any writing material into any room except the upstairs living room. This got rid of MOST of the problems. I still occasionally find writing somewhere in his room and he has to clean it and gets a time out. If he were ruining toys, I would take them away. If you can't take care of it, you can't keep it is what i tell my kids. I hope you find something that works for you soon.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:34 PM   #7
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Re: My almost 6 y/o is writing on EVERYTHING! I am going bonkers

we took away everything from our 6 year old for a month. she did the same thing. i scolded her for writing her name HUGE on the wall...and the next day she wrote her sister's name lol. but her sister couldnt write that well then so i knew it was her. ...then she wrote the baby's name like that would throw me off. its a stage. i guess they want to express their ability to write and express themselves idk but my niece was the same way around 5/6. we've given up on the walls for now. up until 6 months ago we had 7 under 7 in the house for 2 years....our walls have more wax than paint at this point, especially the stairwell in about 6 months we will probably paint the whole house, until then they get punished if they color on the walls/furniture(very VERY rare these days and its usually the 2 year old) but i personally dont stress over it.
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:27 PM   #8
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Re: My almost 6 y/o is writing on EVERYTHING! I am going bonkers

i would take them all away & put them in a high shelf. even if i had to lock the cubberds to keep her out of them. if that didnt stop it then i would just get ride of them. its not worth the stress of it all. (my kids r monkys too & i still find ways to hide them )
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:37 PM   #9
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Re: My almost 6 y/o is writing on EVERYTHING! I am going bonkers

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i would take them all away & put them in a high shelf. even if i had to lock the cubberds to keep her out of them. if that didnt stop it then i would just get ride of them. its not worth the stress of it all. (my kids r monkys too & i still find ways to hide them )
I literally cannot get rid of all writing utensils in my house.

We homeschool.

I study a lot and use highlighters and markers and pens frequently.

We NEED to have things to write with.

I am not going to throw out or lock up all my pens b/c my almost 6 y/o doesn't want to control herself. She will have to learn to do it or she will have a bare room really fast. I shouldn't HAVE to do that. She's almost 6. For my pregnant self to have to get a ladder or step stool to get a pen down to write a check b/c my 6 y/o won't stop writing on my walls is insane.

No. She will lose all her toys this evening. She will help me donate them to Goodwill. I'll let her keep three of her favorites. Hopefully by the end of next month she will have shown me she can respect her things and other people's things, and she will have a few new toys to play with. I literally refuse to lock up things in my own house.

Sorry, not mad at you, mad at the thought of locking up my property b/c my ODD doesn't want to stop behaving badly.
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Old 11-21-2012, 03:00 PM   #10
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Re: My almost 6 y/o is writing on EVERYTHING! I am going bonkers

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I literally cannot get rid of all writing utensils in my house.

We homeschool.

I study a lot and use highlighters and markers and pens frequently.

We NEED to have things to write with.

I am not going to throw out or lock up all my pens b/c my almost 6 y/o doesn't want to control herself. She will have to learn to do it or she will have a bare room really fast. I shouldn't HAVE to do that. She's almost 6. For my pregnant self to have to get a ladder or step stool to get a pen down to write a check b/c my 6 y/o won't stop writing on my walls is insane.

No. She will lose all her toys this evening. She will help me donate them to Goodwill. I'll let her keep three of her favorites. Hopefully by the end of next month she will have shown me she can respect her things and other people's things, and she will have a few new toys to play with. I literally refuse to lock up things in my own house.

Sorry, not mad at you, mad at the thought of locking up my property b/c my ODD doesn't want to stop behaving badly.
its ok. i hear u there. my 6, 4, & 2yr olds wright on the walls w/ them too & we also hs. i had to put them all in a really high shelf in r hs closet. it has alarms on it so i get a warning when they open it. it was the only way to save my sanity.
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