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Old 11-19-2012, 03:54 PM   #31
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Re: WHY are MILs so terrible?

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I get along with most people... My MIL is just insane. I find it really hard to get along with someone who is illogical, moody, and nosy. She is manipulative and so its hard to know if she is really losing her mind or if she just is pretending to so she can be even more lazy. Dh just keeps telling her because we live in a rural area our cell reception/internet keeps dying. So if she annoys us.. we just hang up on her.

I am sorry for you having to deal with this but it made me

We do the same thing.

I felt so bad bc my SIL called me yesterday hysterical with a migraine about to have an anxiety attack and she just needed to vent about mil. Well after she was done her head felt better and she was a little more relaxed.

Last night we got the crazy non-stop calling and text messaging--the weird thing is--we talk to her ALL THE TIME!! and she acts like if we do not pick up the phone once we are shutting her out of our lives and are refusing to let the kids talk to her. I would never do that--dh would I wouldn't though.

But that is all I am going to say about that!

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Old 11-19-2012, 04:03 PM   #32
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Re: WHY are MILs so terrible?

I love my MIL, but we have def had our ups and downs. My husband and I got pregnant when we were both 20, we were just babies ourselves, and she was EXTREMELY happy! She is a bit older and had been waiting to be a grandmother for a while. Fast-forward a couple of years, I was doing very well in college, husband had been working for the same company several years, (still does 12 years later) and I became pregnant again - the catch was we still weren't married. She was PO'd!!! She talked so badly about us (to SIL who stopped talking to her for a while b/c of this) said we were trashy and really was soooooooo ugly about it. I couldn't believe she could act like that when she had been such a great, hands-on grandmother to out first born. Some people really lack the ability to stop and think about their actions.

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Old 11-19-2012, 05:08 PM   #33
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Never had this problem. I wish my MIL was still alive, but she passed away a few weeks before our 1st wedding anniversary she would have been an amazing gma for our kids.
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:16 PM   #34
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Re: WHY are MILs so terrible?

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My MIL and I don't see eye to eye at ALL on anything. DH agrees that we would never, ever choose her as a friend, given the choice. But, because she is all we have in the grandparent department we take what we can get and we try to be there for her.

What I often wonder is how can someone with whom I have so little in common, who I think is incredibly immature and self-centred have raised the person I am choosing as my life partner and who I love? How is that possible?
You saved me a lot of typing there.

I think it may be because there is so much intimacy and love that surrounds these two women but doesn't bind them together, you know? Plus, I think men become complacent when they are single and then wives step in a bit but they are still going along to get along and then BAM, there's a kid and soul searching and you start to realize that yeah, you've got opinions on this stuff and furthermore you deserve respect. Respect that is never forthcoming enough from that evil, evil woman your mother in law.
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:18 PM   #35
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Ita. My mil and I got along fantastically until DS came.
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:21 PM   #36
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My MIL & FIL both have passed. I never met FIL but MIL was not my biggest fan. She preferred DH's ex-wife, the one that treated him terribly, cheated on him with his best friend/best man and ultimately left him for another man. That said, MIL wasn't nice or grandmotherly to DS1, her blood grandson, yet loved the ex-wife's son from a high school boyfriend and was very grandmotherly towards him. She was an alcoholic, former heavy drug user and made horrible choices in life so I guess I shouldn't be upset. It does still sting though. I have never been disliked by boyfriends or friends parents in my whole life until I met the woman that would become my MIL.

Maybe they have issues because they feel protective of their children and side with them, even on dumb small things and tend to hold grudges? IDK...

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Old 11-19-2012, 05:28 PM   #37
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Re: WHY are MILs so terrible?

My MIL is very loud and outgoing and flamboyant (and so is my SIL)!!! We don't really see eye to eye, but they live in another state, and that works well for us. To be honest, not many people like my MIL. . . I have had SO many people tell me that she gets on their nerves. I honestly feel sorry for her, because she has no idea.

She has not ever been a good grandmother to my children, though, and that DOES bother me. It's more of a show to her, as in she does things just so people will think she's an amazing grandmother, but when no one is looking, she couldn't care less about them. My SIL also doesn't have anything to do with them, and my FIL just goes along with the two of them. He is a wonderful person, but my children will sadly never be close to him.

My DH does not get along with his mom at all. He really just tolerates her. My parents call him the son they never had (I am an only child), and he loves them equally as well. They have a great relationship. My mom goes out of her way to make up for his mom's absence, and they are wonderful grandparents to our children.
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:36 PM   #38
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I had the oh-so enjoyable pleasure of meeting my (now ex) MIL one time. Just once, that's all it took. I (stupidly) convinced my (then) DH to give it one more go at a relationship with her, so we drive from FL to MA in one shot, to spend Christmas and New Years with his dad, and visit his mom.

We met. We shook hands. Then she opened her mouth. And that was the beginning of the end.

The night actually ended with her screaming obscenities, and trying to hit me with kitchen appliances, and me being held back by DH with all of his might so that I couldn't dive over her kitchen island and take her out.

We left (read: he drug me down the stairs while his brother blocked her in the kitchen from being able chase after us) and had champagne with his dad to calm down and ring in the new year, and never spoke to her again.

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Last edited by Hillargh; 11-19-2012 at 06:39 PM.
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:45 PM   #39
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Re: WHY are MILs so terrible?

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Originally Posted by Hillargh View Post
I had the oh-so enjoyable pleasure of meeting my (now ex) MIL one time. Just once, that's all it took. I (stupidly) convinced my (then) DH to give it one more go at a relationship with her, so we drive from FL to MA in one shot, to spend Christmas and New Years with his dad, and visit his mom.

We met. We shook hands. Then she opened her mouth. And that was the beginning of the end.

The night actually ended with her screaming obscenities, and trying to hit me with kitchen appliances, and me being held back by DH with all of his might so that I couldn't dive over her kitchen island and take her out.

We left (read: he drug me down the stairs while his brother blocked her in the kitchen from being able chase after us) and had champagne with his dad to calm down and ring in the new year, and never spoke to her again.

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Haha, I think you just won DS
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:53 PM   #40
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Haha, I think you just won DS
Agreed. Holy sheep.
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