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Old 11-19-2012, 09:39 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by Geckmumto3
What I often wonder is how can someone with whom I have so little in common, who I think is incredibly immature and self-centred have raised the person I am choosing as my life partner and who I love? How is that possible?
THIS!!! EXACTLY!!

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Old 11-19-2012, 09:42 PM   #52
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Re: WHY are MILs so terrible?

i got lucky and both of mine have been decent. DH's mother was kind of getting on my nerves because she was staying with us and she never cleaned up her mess in the kitchen but other than that she wasnt bad. both MIL's respect my parenting choices and treat me decently. im still really close to my exMIL
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Old 11-19-2012, 09:43 PM   #53
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She even had the nerve, while I was in labor with our first child(their 2nd grandchild), to say "There is just nothing like that first grandchild."!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me?!
I'll never forget that my MIL walked in like she hoped I was crowning so she could be the first to see our first child!!!
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Old 11-19-2012, 09:54 PM   #54
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Re: WHY are MILs so terrible?

Mine lives in another country, but she still has Dh wrapped around her little finger. :eyeroll: She is alwas asking for money and it drives me batty. Dh's cousin/sister that lives here is a real doozy, as well. When I was in nursing school and not working she basically told me I needed to get a job because I wasn't pulling my weight and it was stressing Dh out. Um, sorry, but full time school and homework is like a freaking full time job. Guess who makes over four times what she does now? Lol! Guess that going to school and being lazy paid off, huh? Yes, I'm still bitter. The rest of his family here are a bunch of gossip mongers and I can never relax with them or I feel like I'll say or do something that will bite me in the ***.
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Old 11-19-2012, 09:56 PM   #55
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Re: WHY are MILs so terrible?

It's not so much that my ILs irritate me - which they do, often - it's that when they do, DH acts like I'm the one at fault.

Every woman in my family and of my acquaintance, when it has come to some arbitrary disagreement between their parents and their spouse, has had their spouse's back as far as the parents are concerned, even if afterwards, in private, they were like, babe, let's talk about what happened.

Every man I know at best says nothing at all, and most of the time backs his parents. I'm not claiming this dynamic is universal but holy hell it irritates me when it happens.
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Old 11-19-2012, 10:06 PM   #56
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Re: WHY are MILs so terrible?

Did you read my rant in Parenting? My inlaws are always there to help us out and they love their grandkids - but they don't always respect my wishes and if I dare point it out to MIL she turns into a complete martyr and puts on this big dramatic show about what a horrible person she must be. She is the most passive-aggressive person I have ever met ("I am sorry to be such a substandard caregiver" was the most recent email I got from her...she then smiled and talked to me like nothing happened a mere 2 hours later). I guess it's a self-confidence thing, I don't know...I hate walking on eggshells around her like the rest of the family does, though.
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Old 11-19-2012, 11:13 PM   #57
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Re: WHY are MILs so terrible?

My MIL is a total b. She is manipulative, sarcastic, narcissistic, passive aggressive and thrives on drama. She is constantly at war with someone. We have not had a good relationship from the very beginning. She just plain ole doesn't like me because for some reason I threaten her way of life. She can be perfectly nice to your face and then turn around and talk to everyone she knows (family included) and say what an awful person you are. But she loves my kids and can be a good grandma when she wants to be except that she's so selfish that she can't be bothered to come see my kids. Seriously, we have seen my in-laws 3 times in the last 8 months and they live a short 15 miles away. I wish that we didn't have to deal with her. DH hates her too but knows that if he wants to have a relationship with his dad that he has to play nice to MIL, who is his step-mom btw.
My FIl is not a bad guy but he's been so manipulated by MIL. He's selfish and self-centered but I don't think he really means to be, its just the way he is.
I'm just so tired of playing the appease the in-laws game when I really just want to tell them off. I've had great relationships with my boyfriends' families in the past so it just sucks that our relationship with the in-laws is so f'ed up. And it just kills me that I moved out here, 1500 miles away from my own family to be here with DH.
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Old 11-19-2012, 11:51 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by jam's mum
It's not so much that my ILs irritate me - which they do, often - it's that when they do, DH acts like I'm the one at fault.

Every woman in my family and of my acquaintance, when it has come to some arbitrary disagreement between their parents and their spouse, has had their spouse's back as far as the parents are concerned, even if afterwards, in private, they were like, babe, let's talk about what happened.

Every man I know at best says nothing at all, and most of the time backs his parents. I'm not claiming this dynamic is universal but holy hell it irritates me when it happens.
This is my mil/dh too. Its always my fault and I'm the irrational one when I get ticked off about her obvious favoritism.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:23 AM   #59
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Re: WHY are MILs so terrible?

I have 2 MILs. I like step MIL a lot and can't stand DHs bio mom.

Just a couple weeks ago I found out that evil mil was posting pics of my kids online, DH & I both very politely asked her to please not do that & now mil is supposedly so upset with me that she can't sleep at night. She believes that she is their grandparent & has rights to do what she wants when she wants. She sucks at being a grandma but shows off online like she's the best there is. She ignores grandkids birthdays half the time, is just rude to our toddlers, and our older daughters refuse to spend the holidays with her.

She lives 10 min away but thankfully we very rarely see her. She has nasty remarks for every home improvement we make and undermines every parenting decision. After I delivered our twins she came to my room without calling first to find out if I was ready for visitors, scoffed that they have to get dirt on them sometime when I asked her to wash her hands, & then literally yanked one of my girls out of their hospital bassinet. She never did wash her hands. I would have killed her if I could have gotten out of bed!

I can't do anything without her feelings being hurt. I hurt her feelings by nicely asking her to not give her soda to my crawlers. # 1 - they were still babies & #2 mil was sick & trying to share her drink with them WTF!

She's two faced, talks about everyone behind their backs, fights over every little item when a family member passes away, thinks she knows everything, and likes every FB status about not abusing children but married a man that routinely used fists on my DH to the point of knocking him unconscious to many times for anyone to remember.
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:23 AM   #60
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Once again, threads like these make me wanna send my MIL flowers. She is sweet, stays out of everyone's business, and just wants to love on the kids when she's here

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