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Old 11-19-2012, 06:09 PM   #11
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

I think that list was awful. After giving birth I dont want to take care of two babies. Holding and nursing a newborn made me all touched out. I wouldn't have even wanted a hug in the first six weeks, let alone dressing skimpy and satisfying someone else's sexual appetite.

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Old 11-19-2012, 06:23 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by ~happy2Bamommy~
I know many men that have felt left out after a wee one arrives. Others don't. I think she was gearing the article to the women wondering what they could do to help their husbands not feel forgotten? It is actually easier to do then one might think (the forgetting the husband part)

I'd probably be pretty content in the 50's

I'd probably introduce the concept of gifting your wife after she has had a baby. I'd be the chick asking for this:

http://pinterest.com/pin/240379698832207847/
Agreed.
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:30 PM   #13
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

I would probably be ok with this list any other time BUT NOT right after birth. Shoot first 8 weeks I don't like being kissed or hugged. He can baby me after I'm up all night nursing a newbie and managing a houseful of other kids :rolls eyes:
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:31 PM   #14
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

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I am probably the most self-less person when it comes to putting everyone ahead of me...but I seriously consider the immediate time after giving birth a time in which a woman should be concerned with healing and mothering.

Sometimes I just feel like we treat our men like children who need to be coddled. They're grown and should be able to understand that "making them feel special" is not a top priority when baby comes.
I personally, in my own opinion, agree with you. I noticed that it's more of a faith based site. Which is fine. I have many friends who follow a certain "biblical" aspect and take this whole heartedly. Works for them. I'm of the same faith, but not into this personally. My husband is a grown man, not the newborn. He's more than able to fend for himself for 6 weeks, if not, well it was going to be a long 6 weeks
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:31 PM   #15
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

I dunno, I read it as-here's a list of ideas that lots of you have asked for. I didn't at all read it as-do these things to keep your man happy.
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:34 PM   #16
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Terrible. After DS2 my hubby took a month off to do housework, take care of DS1, help me when needed. Basically all I did was recover and work on our bond and nursing relationship. We both wanted it that way. I carried a baby for 9+ months and gave birth. That time to heal and bond is needed.
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Old 11-19-2012, 07:14 PM   #17
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

So, my husband says to me after reading this article, "Those are all great ideas, I don't know what you're complaining about!" He was TOTALLY joking! He even said, who has hours after a new baby is born to play sex games and have foreplay?!? My husband is the best after the baby comes. He takes care of me in any way he can (and I do things I can for him). By no means do I take a month or two off from life to bond with my newborn (my husband is active duty military and I have 2 toddlers already, so not possible). But he allows me the time to heal by cooking (and I arrange easy meals for him to prepare), keeping up with dishes, changing diapers every night and bringing the baby to me to be nursed, etc. I do like some of the ideas, but I'm definitely not going to stress about making him happy/feel included
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Old 11-19-2012, 07:19 PM   #18
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

I like the ideas of sending pics and making sure he has time to bond too. I think my dh has a super close bond with the kids, but he knows there is no way I'd pull down the covers or put a book on his pillow. He should be happy I haven't bit his head off as I get ppd and pp anxiety after birth so I'm a bit of a B word most days.
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Old 11-19-2012, 07:22 PM   #19
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

I didn't find it overtly offensive. I guess I just feel secure enough in my relationship that I can spend the 6 weeks after birth worrying about me and the newbie and not him. If not making him number one for six weeks caused serious damage to our marriage I would feel our problems were running deeper than anything on that list would fix...

ETA BUT if a wife was feeling disconnected and wanted to do something about it, I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for ideas like that list provides.

Last edited by Gerdgrid; 11-19-2012 at 07:24 PM.
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Old 11-19-2012, 07:22 PM   #20
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

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Originally Posted by Urchin View Post
I am probably the most self-less person when it comes to putting everyone ahead of me...but I seriously consider the immediate time after giving birth a time in which a woman should be concerned with healing and mothering.

Sometimes I just feel like we treat our men like children who need to be coddled. They're grown and should be able to understand that "making them feel special" is not a top priority when baby comes.
Hell yes! I totally agree Momma.
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