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Old 10-23-2012, 07:52 AM   #1
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Vent! and praise

Ugh. Every week night I go to bed at 11pm while my husband going to bed at 9:30. Even though I've posted a list of chores we need to do each night before bed, he just ignores it!

The daycare has been feeding DS all four bottles I send, even though I made clear the fourth bottle is only for emergencies (so he's getting 18 ounces while I'm gone...). They've also been completely unsnapping diapers before putting them on which means they're WAY too big and he's leaking like mad so they're changing his clothes 2-3 times a day (as if I didn't have enough laundry).

I'm only pumping 12 ounces a day (used to be close to 20...), so that combined with the overfeeding at daycare is really stressing me out and not making anything better. And work is so stressful right now - there's a major project I should be working on but I'm TOO TIRED!!

So I also want to give a shout out to all you work-out-of-home mammas - what we do is NOT EASY and usually no fun. You're all superstar moms in my book! I'm glad I have somewhere like here to vent and know that others understand and have been through the same. Assuming you even have time to read vent posts on DS.

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Old 10-23-2012, 08:58 AM   #2
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Re: Vent! and praise

Mama's work is so hard and never ending. It doesn't help when DH is not pulling his weight.
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Old 10-23-2012, 08:59 AM   #3
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Re: Vent! and praise

Hugs! It will get easier and you will find your groove. Sometimes I found with child care a written instruction sheet of the big things is helpful, even a laminated index card with diaper and feeding instructions. That way if the caregiver changes throughout the day (covering breaks or whatever) they can reference that. Cut yourself some slack in the housekeeping/laundry department for a while-do what is essential and let the rest slide a bit. My DH is awesome, he really is, but he would never take initative (even if it was on a list) of things that need to be done, he just doesn't see it. But if I ask him, he is great, happy to help. It drives me a little bonkers that he can't see that kids lunches need to be made and the dishes need to be put away, but I have accepted that he doesn't see it, and if I do ask, he helps. Hope you find your groove soon!
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Old 10-23-2012, 08:59 AM   #4
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Re: Vent! and praise

The work never ever ends. So sorry you're having trouble!
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Old 10-23-2012, 09:02 AM   #5
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Re: Vent! and praise

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Originally Posted by BCsMom View Post
Ugh. Every week night I go to bed at 11pm while my husband going to bed at 9:30. Even though I've posted a list of chores we need to do each night before bed, he just ignores it!

The daycare has been feeding DS all four bottles I send, even though I made clear the fourth bottle is only for emergencies (so he's getting 18 ounces while I'm gone...). They've also been completely unsnapping diapers before putting them on which means they're WAY too big and he's leaking like mad so they're changing his clothes 2-3 times a day (as if I didn't have enough laundry).

I'm only pumping 12 ounces a day (used to be close to 20...), so that combined with the overfeeding at daycare is really stressing me out and not making anything better. And work is so stressful right now - there's a major project I should be working on but I'm TOO TIRED!!

So I also want to give a shout out to all you work-out-of-home mammas - what we do is NOT EASY and usually no fun. You're all superstar moms in my book! I'm glad I have somewhere like here to vent and know that others understand and have been through the same. Assuming you even have time to read vent posts on DS.
I totally understand your frustration. We had to go to sized AIOs with velcro for daycare because anything with flaps, snaps, or sizing was to hard for them. Sounds like you had the same over feeding issue we had too. How we solved it, was to only send three bottles. Then we asked if we could put one bottle in the freezer (we used playtex dropins with the pumping attachment thingy and lid). If they used it they were to tell us and we'd bring another. That way it was really an effort for them to thaw it and it really did only get used in case of emergency. Good luck, I have no advice on the DH helping thing, mine usually stays up later than me and will throw in a load of laundry I didn't get to or put away the dishes if I was to tired. I can't imagine how mad I'd be if he didn't help.
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Old 11-02-2012, 07:03 AM   #6
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Re: Vent! and praise

Quote:
Originally Posted by mom22sofar View Post
Hugs! It will get easier and you will find your groove. Sometimes I found with child care a written instruction sheet of the big things is helpful, even a laminated index card with diaper and feeding instructions. That way if the caregiver changes throughout the day (covering breaks or whatever) they can reference that. Cut yourself some slack in the housekeeping/laundry department for a while-do what is essential and let the rest slide a bit. My DH is awesome, he really is, but he would never take initative (even if it was on a list) of things that need to be done, he just doesn't see it. But if I ask him, he is great, happy to help. It drives me a little bonkers that he can't see that kids lunches need to be made and the dishes need to be put away, but I have accepted that he doesn't see it, and if I do ask, he helps. Hope you find your groove soon!
Same situation here. My DH is wonderful but need to be instructed. I can imagine how stressful & frustrated you might be feeling. I would say push on your DH a little & get some outer help if possible.
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Old 11-14-2012, 11:05 PM   #7
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Re: Vent! and praise

hang in there mama

I had those daycare over feeding problems (with both kids at the same place!!) and only a monthly BF support group LC kept me sane. And I am transported back to the tiny (but nice) room a few floors up where I would sit, pump and worry I couldn't keep up. Somehow it worked both times. Our daycare is so used to formula, they really don't know what to do-- I made soooo many lists and explained everyday. Some days were so frustrating, I wondered why I worked. Sometimes the teachers would have the director call me and tell my my kids were hungry and not getting enough. Really pulls the heartstrings even when you know its not true. [always exceptions- on teacher had 2 11 months apart and EBF while working-- she is my hero ] our daycare would loose it accreditation if it allowed CD. How insane is that? And I can guarantee they wouldn't do it because it freaks the teachers out.
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