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Old 11-29-2012, 04:22 PM   #1
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Devastated

At 8 weeks I went in for my dating ultrasound. I was 9 days off, so I was actually 6 weeks 5 days. Thought that was weird but there was a good heartbeat and everything looked good. So happy. So relieved. Then I spotted a few days later bright red then brown and it scared the crap out of me. Lasted only that one day and the midwife said sometimes that happens and not to worry unless it got heavy or painful. Then the following thursday (Thanksgiving) right after I announced that I was pregnant to my entire family I started spotting again. Brown. Light. It lasted 4 days. I called the midwife at day 2 and she said to wait and watch and make an appointment for Monday (of course this happens over a holiday weekend). Then on day 4 I called again, terrified. She told me to go in to the ER just to ease my mind and get a rhogam shot (I'm o-). They did an u/s and didn't find a heartbeat. I was shocked and numb. I was totally convinced that the doctor was wrong. I went in the following day for a follow up at my midwife's office, and they did another u/s and no heartbeat. It felt like my whole world caved in. I still was somehow hopeful that they were wrong. They took a blood sample and my hormone levels were dropping. I lost the baby. I still can't believe it. I chose to have a D&C which was yesterday. I am a complete disaster. I can't do anything but cry. I am blessed to have an amazing husband and 18 month old who help but still I just cry. All my hopes and dreams for my new little bug that I wanted soooo badly. I am trying to remember that things happen the way they need to and I can't see that right now and have faith that I'll conceive again soon, but I'm terrified and just so sad......

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Old 11-29-2012, 04:23 PM   #2
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Old 11-29-2012, 04:27 PM   #3
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I am so sorry! My heart just breaks for you. Let yourself grieve, be good to yourself.
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Old 11-29-2012, 04:46 PM   #4
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So sorry. (((hugs)))

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Old 11-29-2012, 06:43 PM   #5
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I'm soooooo very sorry mama! I never heard the heartbeats of the babies that I lost, so I can only imagine how much harder it is to have heard it. Big ! Take care of yourself, let yourself grieve, and then TTC again.
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Old 11-29-2012, 06:48 PM   #6
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Old 11-29-2012, 06:55 PM   #7
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I could have written your post myself except I didn't have a child when I had mine. We thought once we heard the heartbeat everything would be ok. I just wanted to tell you to cry all you need to and that it will get better even though right now it doesn't feel that way. If you need to talk to someone who has btdt you can pm me.

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Old 11-29-2012, 07:06 PM   #8
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Re: Devastated

Im sorry
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Old 11-29-2012, 07:16 PM   #9
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Re: Devastated

I'm so sorry
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Old 11-29-2012, 07:38 PM   #10
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mama.
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