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Old 12-02-2012, 11:22 AM   #1
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Should I change midwives??

With dd2, I was unhappy with my ob, and hossy birth in general and switched to a midwife at 25wks. Her ofc is 10min from me. I had a great experience and had a 3hr labor and water birth.
I am unexpectedly pregnant and saw my mw again. We are disagreeing on dates. I track my cycle.....they are regular but short. She insists on using that wheel thingy. She says Im 10-11wks. I think its closer to 12. I was taking a Cat D med that causes cleft palates until I found out, so Im being sent to a perinatalogist in Jan. Ive also been feeling movement for a week now. My sono isnt for 2 more weeks. At my appt Thurs, she and two others couldnt find the hb on doppler. DH is very concerned and wants me to call tomorrow and pitch a fit til I get in for a sono earlier.
I dont think she will believe me about feeling movement. And I worry about her not listening. Should I even bother? Should I make an appt with someone else (who will have a wait and be at least 30min away?)
I dont know what to do.


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Old 12-02-2012, 11:34 AM   #2
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Re: Should I change midwives??

An EDD has a 2 week window one way or another, regardless. So her thinking you're 10/11 weeks & you thinking you're 12 weeks really isn't a big deal at all and I personally wouldn't switch for that reason alone. More than likely, once you have your first u/s she will go off of babies measurements combined with your LMP/EDC and that will determine your EDD. Again, though, there is still that 2 week window.
However, if you're not comfortable with her or you feel you have a strained relationship, then I probably would consider switching because you really don't want to start a pregnancy off not enjoying & feeling comfortable with your provider... that can make for a long, emotionally exhausting pregnancy as far as your prenatal care goes. Goodluck!

ETA: FWIW... not hearing the HB on doppler this early can definitely be very normal for a variety of reasons. (for example, you may have an anterior placenta blocking the sound.)
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Old 12-02-2012, 12:42 PM   #3
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Re: Should I change midwives??

I agree. If you had a good experience with her before you may want to try to keep up the relationship, but if its stressing you out and you won't feel comfortable with her anymore than you should find someone else.

It sounds like you would like to work things out with her before changing to the place further away, so you should give it a try. But if you continue to not feel like you are being heard than you should switch.
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Old 12-02-2012, 12:55 PM   #4
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Re: Should I change midwives??

I wouldn't really worry about the due date. I mean.. it's 2 weeks either way - about a month 'due window'. and I wouldn't overly worry about the date on the sonogram - because 2 weeks will fly by and if you switch providers, you may wait 2 weeks anyways.

the real issue is if you truly believe she's not listening to you. and if you think she's not going to, then yes, switch to someone you're comfortable with.

but none of the issues raise red flags for me. Except if you feel you're not being heard.
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Old 12-02-2012, 02:46 PM   #5
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Re: Should I change midwives??

I agree with all the ladies above. I had the same thing, very very short cycle so I just knew I was about a week more along then the midwife thought I was. That's fine

I think the biggest issue I see is you feeling like you are not being heard. Honestly, she might not be too concerned about the issues you have brought up because none of them are huge or frightening. Maybe try to have a chat with her about your feelings. I think if you have already had a great experience with her then give her the benefit of the doubt. Also keep in mind that providers are less apt to jump at everything in the first trimester, there is little they can do to make us more comfortable or save a baby that is not meant to be.
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