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Old 01-21-2013, 06:14 PM   #41
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I pretty much planned on 1 or 2, and felt my family was complete with a b/g set.

10 years later, I felt my parenting years flying by, watching my kids approaching young adulthood, and started thinking it would be nicer for them to have more than just one sibling as adults. Hence, dd2!

You will probably feel "done" when you are, but reserve the right to change your mind!

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Old 01-21-2013, 09:47 PM   #42
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It was decided as we went along. Initially I wanted a large-ish family. 4-6 kids. Hubby wanted 3. I also wanted to adopt. We negotiated, prekids, that we would have 4 bio and consider adopting after.

Then we had ds1 after several losses, and boy was his infancy hard. He was just NOT a happy baby. I probably had a touch of PPD, as well. Rough 9 months or so. Reconsidered family size and decided to take it one kid at a time.

Ods did have a little break in crankiness around 4 months old. Just 2-4weeks. And in that time we thought, "hey, what's the big deal if we get pregnant now. We already knew we wanted the first two close in age." We skipped one condom (and we were aware I was ovulating), and ds2 was on his way. Ds1 had returned to crankiness by the time I got my BFP, and I was SCARED!

DS2 was a much easier infant. It was tough with two littles, but still not as bad as DS1's infancy (I just have a hard time with the constant crying). I knew i wanted more kids, just not right away. Hubby, however, was a bit traumatized from a misunderstanding during DS2's birth. And he was unsure he wanted to go through it again.

We talked about it once in a while and decided we would reevaluate when ds2 was 3. I insisted that if we had 5+ years of spacing, I really wanted to have another close set (4 total). If we were stopping at 3 I didn't want the 3rd hanging too far out there. (I hated not having siblings close in age).

Well, last spring I started a supplement that unexpectedly changed my ovulation pattern immediately (within 2 weeks). My 8 day protected window before ovulation did not prove to be good enough. Ovulated 5 days earlier than I had in 5 years of charting, caught 3 day old sperm, and voila, another pregnancy. We lost that little, but by the time we did, we were sold on the "three and done" idea. We would have one more, fairly close, and probably be done. Seems like a good compromise. Got pregnant two months after the mc. We will have 3 under 4 in march.

Hubby knows I might hit him up for adoption later, but it will have to be much later. We took on a teen family member this year, as well, so we have our hands full for a bit. Hubby will be glad to not go through the stress of thinking about delivery again. We aren't yet considering sterilization though. We are young, and hubby's a bit scared, so we are trying to figure out what bc to go with this round.
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Old 01-21-2013, 09:59 PM   #43
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Re: How big of a family

We haven't officially decided yet. DSD was part of the original package. I always told DH that I wanted a big family. He was on board. I had to really push him to TTC originally. He wanted to wait. It was time though. It took us 7.5 months full of anovulatory cycles to conceive DS. I dropped two eggs the entire time we were trying. DS was the second one. After we had him, DH was fired up and ready for more. He told me over and over again that he wished we hadn't waited so long to have kids. I was overwhelmed with DS and I wasn't ready to start trying again immediately. When DS was 14 months old, I started warming up to the idea. It took us 10 months of near perfect cycles to conceive DD. When she arrived, I was again very overwhelmed with our family as it stood. DH and I decided that we would wait 3 years or so before we would TTC again. God had other plans. DD's very unexpected Irish twin is due around her 1st birthday. I never thought I would ever have an accidental pregnancy. My previous two were longed for and earned. I'm still having trouble even fathoming another so soon. DH keeps making vasectomy jokes. We're not done though. We agreed on at least one more, in 3 or 4 years. I'll probably push for another after that. I can't imagine anymore than that though. A family of 8 will be plenty!
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Old 01-24-2013, 04:45 PM   #44
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We are done due to medical issues. BUT also happy that we are going on in life now and will be able to enjoy our older ones nad not be held back due to newborns/nursingones/toddlers etc. I have seen that begin to happen now since i have older and younger (oldesst is 10 neest is 2 weeks) I wan tto enjoy my older children and have been in the baby mode for all these yrs I forgot that they grow up and are gone all too soon. SO I look forwad to rafting trips/hiking/horseback trails/skiing, all the things we can't do when traveling toting along our precious little ones
Good point about how difficult it is to do some of those fun things with a young baby/toddler in tow. That's where we are right now. My youngest is 19 months old and it's only now getting easier to do some of the even easiest fun things (like swimming, fishing, that type of thing).

I am looking forward to this summer when we'll start building a meat goat herd. We'll also be putting in a big garden, camping, fishing, swimming, friends, etc. Some of those are tougher to do with a lil in tow.

Not saying you can't, just tough.
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Old 01-27-2013, 03:01 PM   #45
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It was decided as we went along. Initially I wanted a large-ish family. 4-6 kids. Hubby wanted 3. I also wanted to adopt. We negotiated, prekids, that we would have 4 bio and consider adopting after.

Then we had ds1 after several losses, and boy was his infancy hard. He was just NOT a happy baby. I probably had a touch of PPD, as well. Rough 9 months or so. Reconsidered family size and decided to take it one kid at a time.

Ods did have a little break in crankiness around 4 months old. Just 2-4weeks. And in that time we thought, "hey, what's the big deal if we get pregnant now. We already knew we wanted the first two close in age." We skipped one condom (and we were aware I was ovulating), and ds2 was on his way. Ds1 had returned to crankiness by the time I got my BFP, and I was SCARED!

DS2 was a much easier infant. It was tough with two littles, but still not as bad as DS1's infancy (I just have a hard time with the constant crying). I knew i wanted more kids, just not right away. Hubby, however, was a bit traumatized from a misunderstanding during DS2's birth. And he was unsure he wanted to go through it again.

We talked about it once in a while and decided we would reevaluate when ds2 was 3. I insisted that if we had 5+ years of spacing, I really wanted to have another close set (4 total). If we were stopping at 3 I didn't want the 3rd hanging too far out there. (I hated not having siblings close in age).

Well, last spring I started a supplement that unexpectedly changed my ovulation pattern immediately (within 2 weeks). My 8 day protected window before ovulation did not prove to be good enough. Ovulated 5 days earlier than I had in 5 years of charting, caught 3 day old sperm, and voila, another pregnancy. We lost that little, but by the time we did, we were sold on the "three and done" idea. We would have one more, fairly close, and probably be done. Seems like a good compromise. Got pregnant two months after the mc. We will have 3 under 4 in march.

Hubby knows I might hit him up for adoption later, but it will have to be much later. We took on a teen family member this year, as well, so we have our hands full for a bit. Hubby will be glad to not go through the stress of thinking about delivery again. We aren't yet considering sterilization though. We are young, and hubby's a bit scared, so we are trying to figure out what bc to go with this round.
I am feeling like you about the spacing/close siblings. D doesnt see what the big deal is, but he had siblings growing up, and I did not. My brother and I are 14 years apart. I would like to get pregnant this month or next, so that we have the two older 2 (20 monthes apart) and the younger 2 (20 - 24 months apart) so they all have close siblings. He wants to wait a few years for the last one, but what is the baby going to have in common with a 4, 9, and 10 year old? Since we cant agree, right now I am hoping for an oops :O I am torn because we really want a boy, bu tI dont wan tto just have one boy, either. So maybe if we waited a few years then had 2 more? I dont know, it os so complicated trying to predict the future needs of my family.....
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Old 01-27-2013, 04:07 PM   #46
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^^it is hard. That is part of the relief of possibly being "done".
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Old 01-27-2013, 04:26 PM   #47
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Of course there is WAY too much going on in my life right now. I need to finish school, we are having issues adapting to new relationship roles, and I seriously need a break from breastfeeding, Rayne is so needy about it and it drives me batty (it is mostly bordom nursing, latching on for a few seconds, etc. ) So while dissapointing not to get my sibling groups, hopefully it will be for the best...
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Old 01-27-2013, 05:03 PM   #48
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Re: How big of a family

I'd love like, 8 but I really feel with this pregnancy it's our last (3rd) I didn't have this feeling with my prior pregnancies, it's difficult to explain. I've heard when you are done, your family just feels complete, and I have a premonition of that.
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Old 01-27-2013, 05:09 PM   #49
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My health decided. When we just had DD1, we wanted 5-7. When I was pregnant with DD2, we for sure wanted 3. Then my transplanted kidney didn't do well during the pregnancy so we are done at 2.

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Old 01-30-2013, 10:39 AM   #50
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Re: How big of a family

I've always wanted a big family. I'm currently pregnant with our third (a whoops pregnancy!) and I'm thinking I'd like a fourth in a few years. 4 kids just seems right to me. DH isn't a planner like I am, and wants to take it "one kid at a time" whatever that means LOL
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