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Old 12-07-2012, 09:45 AM   #31
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of December 3rd

You know, emotionally I'm doing a bit better, but I just am really tired of going to the dr. and all the frustration. Add to that that I can't go to my RE for the rest of this becase of insurance so I'm stuck with dr.'s that I don't know or trust (I have trust issues with dr's) its just a very frustrating situation. But I think that getting the shot, while not a walk in the park, is going to be a good choice, and it really makes the ectopic go away and I shouldn't have to worry about future complications from it. And I think having the hcg go up messes with me, I keep thinking 'well maybe its just a slow grower' despite the fact that I'm bleeding and cramping and my numbers are waaaay low for where I should be (7 weeks)

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Old 12-07-2012, 11:37 AM   #32
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of December 3rd

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You know, emotionally I'm doing a bit better, but I just am really tired of going to the dr. and all the frustration. Add to that that I can't go to my RE for the rest of this becase of insurance so I'm stuck with dr.'s that I don't know or trust (I have trust issues with dr's) its just a very frustrating situation. But I think that getting the shot, while not a walk in the park, is going to be a good choice, and it really makes the ectopic go away and I shouldn't have to worry about future complications from it. And I think having the hcg go up messes with me, I keep thinking 'well maybe its just a slow grower' despite the fact that I'm bleeding and cramping and my numbers are waaaay low for where I should be (7 weeks)
That would be so tough. I'm sure anyone would think the same- that seems to make it so much harder because in a way it would give you a tiny bit of hope- how could it not? I hope things go well at the ultrasound today and that if you do need to get the shot- it will do everything it needs to to help you to get through the physical part of all this and that you can move on to emotional healing.
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Old 12-07-2012, 12:57 PM   #33
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of December 3rd

Amy, i understand the trust issues with the docs. I have plenty of that myself. I sure hope this go as well as possible today and they are good to you. I hate not getting to use who you are comfortable with.


ETA: I finally have a period! maybe we can get on to baby making in a couple of weeks. I am so excited. (I never thought I would say that about a period)
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:31 PM   #34
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of December 3rd

Ok update on me, sorry I feel like I've taken over the thread. So I went in for the u/s while I was waiting ( all morning really) I was in horrible pain. It wasn't even cramps, it was contractions, it hurt so bad! So I was bleeding a ton and then I went in and they did the abdominal u/s first which was ok then she said to go o the bathroom, and then undress for the transvaginal u/s so I went to the bathroom and passed what I can only assume was the sac. The rest of the u/s was soooo painful. I was crying it hurt so bad, but then I felt so much better and almost no cramping since then and the bleeding has really slowed. They could see nothing on the u/s but my obgyn (who contacted me and apologized for the slow response) said she thinks its because I already passed it. She doesn't think it's ectopic and neither do I. So I'm getting my hcg drawn again and if it is stagnant or drops then no methotrexate, if its up then we will do the shot. I really think I passed the baby though so I am hopeful my hcg will be lower tomorrow
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Old 12-07-2012, 06:34 PM   #35
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of December 3rd

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Mine was rough...they decided it was a mc at 6 wks, as I was rising too slow for it to be viable. I decided to let it pass naturally, so, I just went home & went about my business. At that time, my beta was somewhere around 1000. It took two weeks for bleeding to start, then I bled lightly for another two weeks. I went back to the RE @ 4 wks & my beta was 1100 . They had me come back for a re-draw a week later & it had dropped to about 900. Then I had a heck of a weekend w/ heavy bleeding & cramping, & the following Monday I was down to 300. By the end of that week, I was at 25, & 0 the following Monday.
Thank you for sharing this : hugs:
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Old 12-08-2012, 02:42 PM   #36
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of December 3rd

thinking and praying for you still amy. hugs
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Old 12-08-2012, 02:54 PM   #37
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of December 3rd

I love this baby so much already and it's only been a week.... so hard to not be PETRIFIED every day of something going wrong. I am a mess. A composed mess. If only I could will everything to be perfect. So hard not having ANY control over outcomes. Please baby stick. I want to be your mommy!! I want to buy baby clothes, and maternity clothes and shout it from the roof tops!!!! wow.... what a long wait I have ahead. Happy it's December and busy to keep my mind occupied.

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Old 12-08-2012, 02:57 PM   #38
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of December 3rd

Thanks liesl. My beta was 77 today so that's good I guess. This sucks so bad, I just feel like holing up and crying all day
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Old 12-08-2012, 05:48 PM   #39
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of December 3rd

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I love this baby so much already and it's only been a week.... so hard to not be PETRIFIED every day of something going wrong. I am a mess. A composed mess. If only I could will everything to be perfect. So hard not having ANY control over outcomes. Please baby stick. I want to be your mommy!! I want to buy baby clothes, and maternity clothes and shout it from the roof tops!!!! wow.... what a long wait I have ahead. Happy it's December and busy to keep my mind occupied.
I can understand that! Oh, boy, it's so hard when you want to be excited so badly and are scared to death all at the same time.

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Thanks liesl. My beta was 77 today so that's good I guess. This sucks so bad, I just feel like holing up and crying all day
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:03 PM   #40
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of December 3rd

Thinking of you Amy- wishing there was a way to make it easier on you. I am so very sorry for your loss.
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