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Old 12-03-2012, 11:26 PM   #11
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This reminds me of another thread... But the other OP was on the receiving end of an email exactly like this and was horrified at how rude it seemed to them.

I do think your wording could be taken as wrong. And I agree with the other posters who have said simplify it, and don't send it out this year (its too late and could make people feel hurt) unless someone asks.

Another simple way to do this is to go on amazon, and make an actual wish list, and email them a link with the explanation;

In case anyone needs ideas for presents for DS, we put together a simple wish list that's take into account our limited space. If you don't need this info then never mind! Just wanted to offer it in case anyone still needs ideas.


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Old 12-04-2012, 07:00 AM   #12
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Re: Rude?

The way you have it phrased now comes off horribly rude. If you chose to send the letter - don't mention past gifts. That comes off as being ungreatful for what they've already bought. I kind of like the pp - send a small list of ideas with a note that says something to the effect 'here some present ideas XXX would really enjoy for Christmas if you need some ideas. If you've already done your shopping, just ignore this list. Merry Christmas!'
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Old 12-04-2012, 07:20 AM   #13
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Re: Rude?

Yes, I think it is EXTREMELY rude, especially the way you worded it throughout. Honestly, I can't think of a better way to word it to not sound rude and ungrateful. If I received something like that from someone, I would not buy a single thing for them or this child(ren). Ever again.

Also, this is way too late in the year IMHO to be even talking about gift requests and lists of what not to buy. Many people shop earlier, and some throughout the year.
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Old 12-04-2012, 07:24 AM   #14
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Yes, its rude. If they ask what to get him give them ideas then-and only then. If he recieves presents you dont want/need/have room for either return them and put the $ towards a swing or slide or donate them.
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Old 12-04-2012, 07:25 AM   #15
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Thanks guys! I also thought it was a bit rude, but dh thought it would be fine. Glad I asked! I will probably let it go this year and send out a wish list next year.
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Old 12-04-2012, 08:39 AM   #16
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Re: Rude?

I agree it sounds rude. And it contradicts when you say you don't have room in your house then provide a long list of acceptable toys. Like we don't have room for those junky plastic ones but we do have room for wood.

I don't think it's too late to send out a simple wish list for this year. Something like, "If you were having any trouble thinking of gift ideas for our son, here is a list of things he would enjoy."

Then next summer sit down and talk with each relative about your wishes. But don't get too hung up on controlling everything that comes into your house. I used to be really high strung about toys and gifts for many of the same reasons - not enough space, too noisy, *I* have to clean them up, etc, to the point of almost seeming ungrateful for things we had received. It was really hard to overcome wanting to control that aspect of Christmas/birthdays. So even though *I* have to deal with the clutter and toys and mess, it's not really about me. It's about someone finding joy in giving to my children.

One more quick story and I'll shut up.....last year my parents bought our oldest daughter one of those ride-on bike things you hook to the TV and play video games on. I knew it would never get used. Our DD isn't into that kind of thing, and it sickened me to think of a $50-$60 toy sitting completely un-used. So after all the festivities were over, I pulled my mom aside and told her that she really picked out great gifts for the kids this year and it was sooooo generous and sweet of her to buy our daughter the video game bike thing, but that she wouldn't play with it much. And I offered an alternative - to take it back and contribute the amount towards a new swing set. She wasn't upset and she agreed to the alternative. DD never even asked about it again.

And then I spent the entire year thereafter talking about experience gifts and an ikea wooden table & chairs.
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Old 12-04-2012, 09:06 AM   #17
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Re: Rude?

Yes, I would find that quite rude. Not only is it worded extremely poorly; but one should not dictate what gifts are acceptable for them to receive, no matter how flowery they word it.
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Old 12-04-2012, 09:19 AM   #18
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Re: Rude?

I totally get the idea, but the letter would personally put my back up. It just seems like too much. I've been telling people, "We're drowning in toys! We always appreciate clothes, outdoor items, and small simple multipurpose items."
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Old 12-04-2012, 10:18 AM   #19
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Re: Rude?

Originally Posted by irishdancemomma View Post
Thanks guys! I also thought it was a bit rude, but dh thought it would be fine. Glad I asked! I will probably let it go this year and send out a wish list next year.
Yeah I think a wish list or gentle suggestions are better. My in-laws always want specific toy info so it works out well. We have tried to say no presents at all or even stick to your $ limit- they have a $50 limit for present buying, but they never stick to it. I use to give them 1 item suggestion that costs $50 and they would buy it and a bunch of other stuff. So now I tell them something that costs around $30 so that they have better luck staying under their $50 limit. They can't seem to help themselves. I know if my parents were still living it would be WAY worse. For one my family doesn't ask for suggestions and they don't put a money limit on- they buy what they think is perfect. We'd be over run by toys- more than we already are.
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Old 12-04-2012, 11:12 AM   #20
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My family always appreciates guidance and even links to ideas for the kids. They want to get things that we want our kids to have.

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