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Old 12-05-2012, 11:00 AM   #11
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Re: apparently being a sham is easy

Bleh, didn't read all the PPs. So annoying. Actually, the What to Expect the 1st Year book has a great section on this. Here are my arguements:

1) I didn't crawl up there and impregnate myself. They are your children too, which we agreed to have and parent together.

2) Parenting is a 24/7 job. No you don't have to 'work' like him. But he gets to eat lunch when he feels like, pee without an audience whenever he has the need, and doesn't have 3 small people dependent on him for their every need who need constant 100% supervision. He gets to surf the internet or play angry birds to take a quick break.

3) If it's so 'easy' YOU stay home will all of them on Saturday. I will give you a list of everything I get accomplished in a typical day, and I expect it all to be done, and a healthy, home cooked dinner on the table, when I get home. And don't call me asking for any help, because this is your job.


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Old 12-05-2012, 11:16 AM   #12
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Re: apparently being a sham is easy

Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes View Post
i always looked at it like he house was my job, work was his job and parenting was both our job. when i sah i pretty much had x take care of the kids (except nursing of course) when he was home
This is how it should be. Dads need to be a part of all parenting, or they will be left out of something and feel disrespected. Parenting is for both parents.
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Old 12-05-2012, 11:24 AM   #13
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Re: apparently being a sham is easy

My DH works from home, so he probably thinks I don't do much. In fact, when we were fighting, he said as much, because I get "a lot" of downtime throughout the day. In reality, if I'm on the computer, I'm doing the budget or posting to Craigslist or scouring deals. If I'm not, I'm cleaning or playing with the kids or cooking. It looks like my day is slow and easy but the difference is, I'm "on" 24/7. I don't get blocks of time off.

He's since admitted I do more than he realized, even when he's at home, because things don't clean themselves and these kids DEFINITELY don't clean themselves.
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Old 12-05-2012, 11:27 AM   #14
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Re: apparently being a sham is easy

this goes around FB...gist of it is, she doesn't do anything all day to show what happens....and that she really DOES do a lot during the day. My DH doesn't know how I do it. If there is food to eat and the kids aren't bleeding, he is happy, lol. He couldn't do it and I am not one of the moms who thinks the housework is my job, either
Jul, This used to be a great place
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Old 12-05-2012, 12:06 PM   #15
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Re: apparently being a sham is easy

I hear this all the time from my sister and her husband. Being a WOHM, I can see both sides, but honestly, parenting was a decision reached by both of you when you decided to have children together. Parenting NEVER stops, even if someone works.

DH and I compromise a bit by giving each other a little "me time" to unwind. So say DH wants an hour or 2 to go out for a bit, then it's only fitting that I get an hour or 2 to myself to do what I want. It works out well for us.

You are getting it across to your DH that you need a breather, and in exchange, he gets to step into your shoes for a bit and see reality for what it is.
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