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Old 11-02-2012, 02:41 AM   #1
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Worried about future kids having SN?

My oldest has autism, sensory processing disorder, atypical ADHD, anxiety, multiple food allergies, asthma and gastrointestinal issues, severe sleep disorder

My youngest almost 3 has reflux is on elecare still due to FTT and vomits daily still, speech delays probably from chronic ear infections and when we had him evaluated for speech in school district preschool he qualified in speech,behavior,and OT.

I guess I was stunned I didn't realize he was so odd or different from typical kids. My oldests OT asked me if I was surprised and I kinda was because I guess my oldest is so different if my youngest wasn't licking the paint off the walls I figured he was ok.

So now that makes me wonder about the baby I'm pregnant with. I really hope he develops typically and that I'm not genetically flawed.

Anyone else have a SN child and up on to have more kids? How did you handle your concerns if you had them?

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Old 11-02-2012, 06:23 AM   #2
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Re: Worried about future kids having SN?

My oldest is more on the aspergers end of the spectrum with some attention issues that come with that. My youngest is profoundly autistic. I also have a nephew with aspergers and, well, pretty much my whole immediate family (except for one odd brother) is aspergers.

It does scare me. I'm single now so I don't have to think too seriously about it. One of my good friend found out her son had autism (he's fairly profound as well) when she was pregnant. She was worried about him but everything turned out ok. Her yds is thriving!
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Old 11-02-2012, 08:12 AM   #3
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Re: Worried about future kids having SN?

Well, I didn't realize any of my kids had special needs when I was still having kids. If I was thinking about TTC, it would make me pause today. My oldest as Aspergers, ADHD, and Anxiety (and when he was little, I didn't realize how different he was), and my two younger kids have varying degrees of apraxia. So, yeah, if I was having more kids, I'd definitely have to think twice, because while I love my kids, I don't know that I am capable of going down these paths again... (that said, I wouldn't change anything about my kids... I wouldn't. They are who they are because of the apraxia, because of the aspergers. If I took those things away, they would be completely different... and they are each such amazingly unique kids. I just don't think I could do it again.)
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Old 11-02-2012, 08:42 AM   #4
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It could go either way. You can get genetic testing to see if you have any predisposition towards these issues, but it's not always conclusive as they don't always know all the causes. Special needs tend to generally run in families, though not always the same exact need, if that makes sense. But not always.
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Old 11-02-2012, 12:10 PM   #5
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Re: Worried about future kids having SN?

I have friends with 4 kids. The two oldest are twins. One is profoundly autistic (almost completely non-verbal at 7 years old), and the other is neuro-typical/gifted. They have 2 younger children who are also neuro-typical.

You just never know. It is a leap of faith.
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Old 11-02-2012, 01:54 PM   #6
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I have 7 kids. One is on the spectrum, one has add, odd, and ocd. We also think that my 5 year old has some minor SN (aspergerish) but my other children are neurotypical. My oldest has the most severe issues but her father is not the father of my other 6 children (who have the same father) sure some of it is genetic but I feel like it can be a crap shoot as well.

Even with my SN kids it wouldnt stop me from having another.
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Old 11-02-2012, 02:43 PM   #7
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Re: Worried about future kids having SN?

To be blunt yes I do. In my case it is less about each of my boy's individual diagnosis and more about my own diagnoses and knowing that they have a genetic component. I am now done having kids and part of it is because my youngest has been diagnosed bipolar. I wish I had considered the possibilities sooner. I love my boys but I feel a great deal of guilt watching them struggle and knowing how hard their lives are and probably always will be. It is a crap shoot and there is a chance I could have more children and they could be "normal" but that is not a risk I am willing to take.
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Old 11-02-2012, 03:33 PM   #8
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We are pretty sure it's genetic on my mothers side. All of my grandmothers children have kids with mental health, bi-polar, and autism diagnosis.
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Old 11-02-2012, 04:19 PM   #9
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Re: Worried about future kids having SN?

Quote:
Originally Posted by iris0110 View Post
To be blunt yes I do. In my case it is less about each of my boy's individual diagnosis and more about my own diagnoses and knowing that they have a genetic component. I am now done having kids and part of it is because my youngest has been diagnosed bipolar. I wish I had considered the possibilities sooner. I love my boys but I feel a great deal of guilt watching them struggle and knowing how hard their lives are and probably always will be. It is a crap shoot and there is a chance I could have more children and they could be "normal" but that is not a risk I am willing to take.
This.
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Old 11-03-2012, 11:50 PM   #10
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Re: Worried about future kids having SN?

My son's special needs are a huge part of our reason to stop with two kids instead of having three (like I originally wanted). He has many complex abnormalities that, in my mind, can only be explained by a defect in his genes somewhere and until they figure out what it is - assuming that they CAN figure it out - I'm too scared to put another child, or myself, in the same potentially frightening situation. I love my son more than anything, behavioral and medical issues and all, but one of him is more than enough.
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